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- Колин Маккалоу
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- Стр. 127/535
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He
did
n't
believe
her
,
but
he
could
see
it
served
no
purpose
to
argue
,
and
she
was
not
in
the
mood
to
be
jollied
out
of
it
.
Only
God
decided
when
one
would
die
,
unless
,
of
the
free
will
He
had
given
,
one
took
one
's
own
life
.
And
she
had
said
she
would
n't
do
that
.
So
he
helped
her
pant
up
the
stairs
and
at
the
top
took
her
hands
in
his
,
bent
to
kiss
them
.
She
pulled
them
away
.
"
No
,
not
tonight
.
On
my
mouth
,
Ralph
!
Kiss
my
mouth
as
if
we
were
lovers
!
"
By
the
brilliant
light
of
the
chandelier
,
lit
for
the
party
with
four
hundred
wax
candles
,
she
saw
the
disgust
in
his
face
,
the
instinctive
recoil
;
she
wanted
to
die
then
,
wanted
to
die
so
badly
she
could
not
wait
.
"
Mary
,
I
'm
a
priest
!
I
ca
n't
!
"
She
laughed
shrilly
,
eerily
.
"
Oh
,
Ralph
,
what
a
sham
you
are
!
Sham
man
,
sham
priest
!
And
to
think
once
you
actually
had
the
temerity
to
offer
to
make
love
to
me
!
Were
you
so
positive
I
'd
refuse
?
How
I
wish
I
had
n't
!
I
'd
give
my
soul
to
see
you
wriggle
out
of
it
if
we
could
have
that
night
back
again
!
Sham
,
sham
,
sham
!
That
's
all
you
are
,
Ralph
!
An
impotent
,
useless
sham
!
Impotent
man
and
impotent
priest
!
I
do
n't
think
you
could
get
it
up
and
keep
it
up
for
the
Blessed
Virgin
herself
!
Have
you
ever
managed
to
get
it
up
,
Father
de
Bricassart
?
Sham
!
"
*
*
*
Outside
it
was
not
yet
dawn
,
or
the
lightening
before
it
.
Darkness
lay
soft
,
thick
and
very
hot
over
Drogheda
.
The
revels
were
becoming
extremely
noisy
;
if
the
homestead
had
possessed
next-door
neighbors
the
police
would
have
been
called
long
since
.
Someone
was
vomiting
copiously
and
revoltingly
on
the
veranda
,
and
under
a
wispy
bottle
brush
two
indistinct
forms
were
locked
together
.
Father
Ralph
avoided
the
vomiter
and
the
lovers
,
treading
silently
across
the
springy
new-mown
lawn
with
such
torment
in
his
mind
he
did
not
know
or
care
where
he
was
going
.
Only
that
he
wanted
to
be
away
from
her
,
the
awful
old
spider
who
was
convinced
she
was
spinning
her
death
cocoon
on
this
exquisite
night
.
At
such
an
early
hour
the
heat
was
not
exhausting
;
there
was
a
faint
,
heavy
stirring
in
the
air
,
and
a
stealing
of
languorous
perfumes
from
boronia
and
roses
,
the
heavenly
stillness
only
tropical
and
subtropical
latitudes
can
ever
know
.
Oh
,
God
,
to
be
alive
,
to
be
really
alive
!
To
embrace
the
night
,
and
living
,
and
be
free
!
He
stopped
on
the
far
side
of
the
lawn
and
stood
looking
up
at
the
sky
,
an
instinctive
aerial
searching
for
God
.
Yes
,
up
there
somewhere
,
between
the
winking
points
of
light
so
pure
and
unearthly
;
what
was
it
about
the
night
sky
?
That
the
blue
lid
of
day
was
lifted
,
a
man
permitted
glimpses
of
eternity
?
Nothing
save
witnessing
the
strewn
vista
of
the
stars
could
convince
a
man
that
timelessness
and
God
existed
.
