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I
was
inflexible
,
and
went
on
.
I
stood
there
and
prattled
,
with
the
painful
consciousness
that
I
bored
her
,
that
not
one
of
my
words
went
home
,
and
all
the
same
I
did
not
cease
.
At
bottom
one
might
be
a
fairly
sensitive
nature
,
even
if
one
were
not
insane
,
I
ventured
to
say
.
There
were
natures
that
fed
on
trifles
,
and
died
just
for
one
hard
word
's
sake
;
and
I
implied
that
I
had
such
a
nature
.
The
fact
was
,
that
my
poverty
had
in
that
degree
sharpened
certain
powers
in
me
,
so
that
they
caused
me
unpleasantness
.
Yes
,
I
assure
you
honestly
,
unpleasantness
;
worse
luck
!
But
this
had
also
its
advantages
.
It
helped
me
in
certain
situations
in
life
.
The
poor
intelligent
man
is
a
far
nicer
observer
than
the
rich
intelligent
man
.
The
poor
man
looks
about
him
at
every
step
he
takes
,
listens
suspiciously
to
every
word
he
hears
from
the
people
he
meets
,
every
step
he
takes
affords
in
this
way
a
task
for
his
thoughts
and
feelings
--
an
occupation
.
He
is
quick
of
hearing
,
and
sensitive
;
he
is
an
experienced
man
,
his
soul
bears
the
sears
of
the
fire
...
.
And
I
talked
a
long
time
over
these
sears
my
soul
had
.
But
the
longer
I
talked
,
the
more
troubled
she
grew
.
At
last
she
muttered
,
"
My
God
!
"
a
couple
of
times
in
despair
,
and
wrung
her
hands
.
I
could
see
well
that
I
tormented
her
,
and
I
had
no
wish
to
torment
her
--
but
did
it
,
all
the
same
.
At
last
,
being
of
the
opinion
that
I
had
succeeded
in
telling
her
in
rude
enough
terms
the
essentials
of
what
I
had
to
say
,
I
was
touched
by
her
heart-stricken
expression
.
I
cried
:
"
Now
I
am
going
,
now
I
am
going
.
Ca
n't
you
see
that
I
already
have
my
hand
on
the
handle
of
the
door
?
Good-bye
,
good-bye
,
"
I
say
.
"
You
might
answer
me
when
I
say
good-bye
twice
,
and
stand
on
the
point
of
going
.
I
do
n't
even
ask
to
meet
you
again
,
for
it
would
torment
you
.
But
tell
me
,
why
did
n't
you
leave
me
in
peace
?
What
had
I
done
to
you
?
I
did
n't
get
in
your
way
,
now
,
did
I
?
Why
did
you
turn
away
from
me
all
at
once
,
as
if
you
did
n't
know
me
any
longer
?
You
have
plucked
me
now
so
thoroughly
bare
,
made
me
even
more
wretched
than
I
ever
was
at
any
time
before
;
but
,
indeed
,
I
am
not
insane
.
You
know
well
,
if
you
think
it
over
,
that
nothing
is
the
matter
with
me
now
.
Come
over
,
then
,
and
give
me
your
hand
--
or
give
me
leave
to
go
to
you
,
will
you
?
I
wo
n't
do
you
any
harm
;
I
will
only
kneel
before
you
,
only
for
a
minute
--
kneel
down
on
the
floor
before
you
,
only
for
a
minute
,
may
I
?
No
,
no
;
there
,
I
am
not
to
do
it
then
,
I
see
.
You
are
getting
afraid
.
I
will
not
,
I
will
not
do
it
;
do
you
hear
?
Lord
,
why
do
you
get
so
terrified
.
I
am
standing
quite
still
;
I
am
not
moving
.
I
would
have
knelt
down
on
the
carpet
for
a
moment
--
just
there
,
upon
that
patch
of
red
,
at
your
feet
;
but
you
got
frightened
--
I
could
see
it
at
once
in
your
eyes
that
you
got
frightened
;
that
was
why
I
stood
still
.
I
did
n't
move
a
step
when
I
asked
you
might
I
,
did
I
?
I
stood
just
as
immovable
as
I
stand
now
when
I
point
out
the
place
to
you
where
I
would
have
knelt
before
you
,
over
there
on
the
crimson
rose
in
the
carpet
.
I
do
n't
even
point
with
my
finger
.
I
do
n't
point
at
all
;
I
let
it
be
,
not
to
frighten
you
.
I
only
nod
and
look
over
at
it
,
like
this
!
and
you
know
perfectly
well
which
rose
I
mean
,
but
you
wo
n't
let
me
kneel
there
.
You
are
afraid
of
me
,
and
dare
not
come
near
to
me
.
I
can
not
conceive
how
you
could
have
the
heart
to
call
me
insane
.
It
is
n't
true
;
you
do
n't
believe
it
,
either
,
any
longer
?
It
was
once
in
the
summer
,
a
long
time
ago
,
I
was
mad
;
I
worked
too
hard
,
and
forgot
to
go
to
dine
at
the
right
hour
,
when
I
had
too
much
to
think
about
.
That
happened
day
after
day
.
I
ought
to
have
remembered
it
;
but
I
went
on
forgetting
it
--
by
God
in
Heaven
,
it
is
true
!
God
keep
me
from
ever
coming
alive
from
this
spot
if
I
lie
.
There
,
you
can
see
,
you
do
me
an
injustice
.
It
was
not
out
of
need
I
did
it
;
I
can
get
credit
,
much
credit
,
at
Ingebret
's
or
Gravesen
's
.
I
often
,
too
,
had
a
good
deal
of
money
in
my
pocket
,
and
did
not
buy
food
all
the
same
,
because
I
forgot
it
.
Do
you
hear
?
You
do
n't
say
anything
;
you
do
n't
answer
;
you
do
n't
stir
a
bit
from
the
fire
;
you
just
stand
and
wait
for
me
to
go
...
.
"
She
came
hurriedly
over
to
me
,
and
stretched
out
her
hand
.
I
looked
at
her
,
full
of
mistrust
.
Did
she
do
it
with
any
true
heartiness
,
or
did
she
only
do
it
to
get
rid
of
me
?
She
wound
her
arms
round
my
neck
;
she
had
tears
in
her
eyes
;
I
only
stood
and
looked
at
her
.
She
offered
her
mouth
;
I
could
n't
believe
in
her
;
it
was
quite
certain
she
was
making
a
sacrifice
as
a
means
of
putting
an
end
to
all
this
.
She
said
something
;
it
sounded
to
me
like
,
"
I
am
fond
of
you
,
in
spite
of
all
.
"
She
said
it
very
lowly
and
indistinctly
;
maybe
I
did
not
hear
aright
.
She
may
not
have
said
just
those
words
;
but
she
cast
herself
impetuously
against
my
breast
,
clasped
both
her
arms
about
my
neck
for
a
little
while
,
stretched
even
up
a
bit
on
her
toes
to
get
a
good
hold
,
and
stood
so
for
perhaps
a
whole
minute
.
I
was
afraid
that
she
was
forcing
herself
to
show
me
this
tenderness
,
and
I
only
said
:
"
What
a
darling
you
are
now
!
"
