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What
did
you
say
to
me
when
you
winked
?
Band
playing
.
Look
--
the
sky
,
it
's
the
Fourth
of
July
.
Dice
at
rest
.
They
got
to
me
with
the
machine
again
...
I
wonder
...
What
did
he
say
?
...
wonder
how
McMurphy
made
me
big
again
.
He
said
Guts
ball
.
They
're
out
there
.
Black
boys
in
white
suits
peeing
under
the
door
on
me
,
come
in
later
and
accuse
me
of
soaking
all
six
these
pillows
I
'm
lying
on
!
Number
six
.
I
thought
the
room
was
a
dice
.
The
number
one
,
the
snake
eye
up
there
,
the
circle
,
the
white
light
in
the
ceiling
...
is
what
I
've
been
seeing
...
in
this
little
square
room
...
means
it
's
after
dark
.
How
many
hours
have
I
been
out
?
It
's
fogging
a
little
,
but
I
wo
n't
slip
off
and
hide
in
it
.
No
...
never
again
...
I
stand
,
stood
up
slowly
,
feeling
numb
between
the
shoulders
.
The
white
pillows
on
the
floor
of
the
Seclusion
Room
were
soaked
from
me
peeing
on
them
while
I
was
out
I
could
n't
remember
all
of
it
yet
,
but
I
rubbed
my
eyes
with
the
heels
of
my
hands
and
tried
to
clear
my
head
.
I
worked
at
it
.
I
'd
never
worked
at
coming
out
of
it
before
.
