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But
after
the
retreat
,
when
someone
else
,
someone
impartial
and
from
the
East
Coast
,
deemed
me
Juilliard
-
worthy
,
the
idea
burrowed
into
Gran
’
s
brain
.
She
took
it
upon
herself
to
speak
to
Professor
Christie
about
it
,
and
my
teacher
took
hold
of
the
idea
like
a
terrier
to
a
bone
.
So
,
I
filled
out
my
application
,
collected
my
letters
of
recommendation
,
and
sent
in
a
recording
of
my
playing
.
I
didn
’
t
tell
Adam
about
any
of
this
.
I
had
told
myself
that
it
was
because
there
was
no
point
advertising
it
when
even
getting
an
audition
was
such
a
long
shot
.
But
even
then
I
’
d
recognized
that
for
the
lie
that
it
was
.
A
small
part
of
me
felt
like
even
applying
was
some
kind
of
betrayal
.
Juilliard
was
in
New
York
.
Adam
was
here
.
But
not
at
high
school
anymore
.
He
was
a
year
ahead
of
me
,
and
this
past
year
,
my
senior
year
,
he
’
d
started
at
the
university
in
town
.
He
only
went
to
school
part
-
time
now
because
Shooting
Star
was
starting
to
get
popular
.
There
was
a
record
deal
with
a
Seattle
-
based
label
,
and
a
lot
of
traveling
to
gigs
.
So
only
after
I
got
the
creamy
envelope
embossed
with
The
Juilliard
School
and
a
letter
inviting
me
to
audition
did
I
tell
Adam
that
I
’
d
applied
.
I
explained
how
many
people
didn
’
t
get
that
far
.
At
first
he
looked
a
little
awestruck
,
like
he
couldn
’
t
quite
believe
it
.
Then
he
gave
a
sad
little
smile
.
"
Yo
Mama
better
watch
his
back
,
"
he
said
.
The
auditions
were
held
in
San
Francisco
.
Dad
had
some
big
conference
at
the
school
that
week
and
couldn
’
t
get
away
,
and
Mom
had
just
started
a
new
job
at
the
travel
agency
,
so
Gran
volunteered
to
accompany
me
.
"
We
’
ll
make
a
girls
’
weekend
of
it
.
Take
high
tea
at
the
Fairmont
.
Go
window
-
shopping
in
Union
Square
.
Ride
the
ferry
to
Alcatraz
.
We
’
ll
be
tourists
.
"
But
a
week
before
we
were
due
to
leave
,
Gran
tripped
over
a
tree
root
and
sprained
her
ankle
.
She
had
to
wear
one
of
those
clunky
boots
and
wasn
’
t
supposed
to
walk
.
Minor
panic
ensued
.
I
said
I
could
just
go
by
myself
—
drive
,
or
take
the
train
,
and
come
right
back
.
It
was
Gramps
who
insisted
on
taking
me
.
We
drove
down
together
in
his
pickup
truck
.
We
didn
’
t
talk
much
,
which
was
fine
by
me
because
I
was
so
nervous
.
I
kept
fingering
the
Popsicle
-
stick
good
-
luck
talisman
Teddy
had
presented
me
with
before
we
left
.
"
Break
an
arm
,
"
he
’
d
told
me
.
Gramps
and
I
listened
to
classical
music
and
farm
reports
on
the
radio
when
we
could
pick
up
a
station
.
Otherwise
,
we
sat
in
silence
.
But
it
was
such
a
calming
silence
;
it
made
me
relax
and
feel
closer
to
him
than
any
heart
-
to
-
heart
would
have
.
Gran
had
booked
us
in
a
really
frilly
inn
,
and
it
was
funny
to
see
Gramps
in
his
work
boots
and
plaid
flannel
amid
all
the
lacy
doilies
and
potpourri
.
But
he
took
it
all
in
stride
.
The
audition
was
grueling
