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It
was
the
uncertainty
.
What
was
this
,
exactly
?
A
date
?
A
friendly
favor
?
An
act
of
charity
?
I
didn
’
t
like
being
on
soft
ground
any
more
than
I
liked
fumbling
my
way
through
a
new
movement
.
That
’
s
why
I
practiced
so
much
,
so
I
could
rush
myself
on
solid
ground
and
then
work
out
the
details
from
there
.
I
changed
my
clothes
about
six
times
.
Teddy
,
a
kindergartner
back
then
,
sat
in
my
bedroom
,
pulling
the
Calvin
and
Hobbes
books
down
from
the
shelves
and
pretending
to
read
them
.
He
cracked
himself
up
,
though
I
wasn
’
t
sure
whether
it
was
Calvin
’
s
high
jinks
or
my
own
making
him
so
goofy
.
Mom
popped
her
head
in
to
check
on
my
progress
.
"
He
’
s
just
a
guy
,
Mia
,
"
she
said
when
she
saw
me
getting
worked
up
.
"
Yeah
,
but
he
’
s
just
the
first
guy
I
’
ve
ever
gone
on
a
maybe
-
date
with
,
"
I
said
.
"
So
I
don
’
t
know
whether
to
wear
date
clothes
or
symphony
clothes
—
do
people
here
even
dress
up
for
that
kind
of
thing
?
Or
should
I
just
keep
it
casual
,
in
case
it
’
s
not
a
date
?
"
"
Just
wear
something
you
feel
good
in
,
"
she
suggested
.
"
That
way
you
’
re
covered
.
"
I
’
m
sure
Mom
would
’
ve
pulled
out
all
the
stops
had
she
been
me
.
In
the
pictures
of
her
and
Dad
from
the
early
days
,
she
looked
like
a
cross
between
a
1930s
siren
and
a
biker
chick
,
with
her
pixie
haircut
,
her
big
blue
eyes
coated
in
kohl
eyeliner
,
and
her
rail
-
thin
body
always
ensconced
in
some
sexy
getup
,
like
a
lacy
vintage
camisole
paired
with
skintight
leather
pants
.
I
sighed
.
I
wished
I
could
be
so
ballsy
.
In
the
end
,
I
chose
a
long
black
skirt
and
a
maroon
short
-
sleeved
sweater
.
Plain
and
simple
.
My
trademark
,
I
guess
.
When
Adam
showed
up
in
a
sharkskin
suit
and
Creepers
(
an
ensemble
that
wholly
impressed
Dad
)
,
I
realized
that
this
really
was
a
date
.
Of
course
,
Adam
would
choose
to
dress
up
for
the
symphony
and
a
1960s
sharkskin
suit
could
’
ve
just
been
his
cool
take
on
formal
,
but
I
knew
there
was
more
to
it
than
that
.
He
seemed
nervous
as
he
shook
hands
with
my
dad
and
told
him
that
he
had
his
band
’
s
old
CDs
.
"
To
use
as
coasters
,
I
hope
,
"
Dad
said
.
Adam
looked
surprised
,
unused
to
the
parent
being
more
sarcastic
than
the
child
,
I
imagine
.
"
Don
’
t
you
kids
get
too
crazy
.
Bad
injuries
at
the
last
Yo
-
Yo
Ma
mosh
pit
,
"
Mom
called
as
we
walked
down
the
lawn
.
"
Your
parents
are
so
cool
,
"
Adam
said
,
opening
the
car
door
for
me
.
