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- Генри Джеймс
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- Стр. 43/93
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Let
me
add
that
in
their
company
now
--
and
I
was
careful
almost
never
to
be
out
of
it
--
I
could
follow
no
scent
very
far
.
We
lived
in
a
cloud
of
music
and
love
and
success
and
private
theatricals
.
The
musical
sense
in
each
of
the
children
was
of
the
quickest
,
but
the
elder
in
especial
had
a
marvelous
knack
of
catching
and
repeating
.
The
schoolroom
piano
broke
into
all
gruesome
fancies
;
and
when
that
failed
there
were
confabulations
in
corners
,
with
a
sequel
of
one
of
them
going
out
in
the
highest
spirits
in
order
to
"
come
in
"
as
something
new
.
I
had
had
brothers
myself
,
and
it
was
no
revelation
to
me
that
little
girls
could
be
slavish
idolaters
of
little
boys
.
What
surpassed
everything
was
that
there
was
a
little
boy
in
the
world
who
could
have
for
the
inferior
age
,
sex
,
and
intelligence
so
fine
a
consideration
.
They
were
extraordinarily
at
one
,
and
to
say
that
they
never
either
quarreled
or
complained
is
to
make
the
note
of
praise
coarse
for
their
quality
of
sweetness
.
Sometimes
,
indeed
,
when
I
dropped
into
coarseness
,
I
perhaps
came
across
traces
of
little
understandings
between
them
by
which
one
of
them
should
keep
me
occupied
while
the
other
slipped
away
.
There
is
a
naïf
side
,
I
suppose
,
in
all
diplomacy
;
but
if
my
pupils
practiced
upon
me
,
it
was
surely
with
the
minimum
of
grossness
.
It
was
all
in
the
other
quarter
that
,
after
a
lull
,
the
grossness
broke
out
.
I
find
that
I
really
hang
back
;
but
I
must
take
my
plunge
.
In
going
on
with
the
record
of
what
was
hideous
at
Bly
,
I
not
only
challenge
the
most
liberal
faith
--
for
which
I
little
care
;
but
--
and
this
is
another
matter
--
I
renew
what
I
myself
suffered
,
I
again
push
my
way
through
it
to
the
end
.
There
came
suddenly
an
hour
after
which
,
as
I
look
back
,
the
affair
seems
to
me
to
have
been
all
pure
suffering
;
but
I
have
at
least
reached
the
heart
of
it
,
and
the
straightest
road
out
is
doubtless
to
advance
.
One
evening
--
with
nothing
to
lead
up
or
to
prepare
it
--
I
felt
the
cold
touch
of
the
impression
that
had
breathed
on
me
the
night
of
my
arrival
and
which
,
much
lighter
then
,
as
I
have
mentioned
,
I
should
probably
have
made
little
of
in
memory
had
my
subsequent
sojourn
been
less
agitated
.
I
had
not
gone
to
bed
;
I
sat
reading
by
a
couple
of
candles
.
There
was
a
roomful
of
old
books
at
Bly
--
last-century
fiction
,
some
of
it
,
which
,
to
the
extent
of
a
distinctly
deprecated
renown
,
but
never
to
so
much
as
that
of
a
stray
specimen
,
had
reached
the
sequestered
home
and
appealed
to
the
unavowed
curiosity
of
my
youth
.
I
remember
that
the
book
I
had
in
my
hand
was
Fielding
's
Amelia
;
also
that
I
was
wholly
awake
.
I
recall
further
both
a
general
conviction
that
it
was
horribly
late
and
a
particular
objection
to
looking
at
my
watch
.
I
figure
,
finally
,
that
the
white
curtain
draping
,
in
the
fashion
of
those
days
,
the
head
of
Flora
's
little
bed
,
shrouded
,
as
I
had
assured
myself
long
before
,
the
perfection
of
childish
rest
.
I
recollect
in
short
that
,
though
I
was
deeply
interested
in
my
author
,
I
found
myself
,
at
the
turn
of
a
page
and
with
his
spell
all
scattered
,
looking
straight
up
from
him
and
hard
at
the
door
of
my
room
.
There
was
a
moment
during
which
I
listened
,
reminded
of
the
faint
sense
I
had
had
,
the
first
night
,
of
there
being
something
undefinably
astir
in
the
house
,
and
noted
the
soft
breath
of
the
open
casement
just
move
the
half-drawn
blind
.
Then
,
with
all
the
marks
of
a
deliberation
that
must
have
seemed
magnificent
had
there
been
anyone
to
admire
it
,
I
laid
down
my
book
,
rose
to
my
feet
,
and
,
taking
a
candle
,
went
straight
out
of
the
room
and
,
from
the
passage
,
on
which
my
light
made
little
impression
,
noiselessly
closed
and
locked
the
door
.
I
can
say
now
neither
what
determined
nor
what
guided
me
,
but
I
went
straight
along
the
lobby
,
holding
my
candle
high
,
till
I
came
within
sight
of
the
tall
window
that
presided
over
the
great
turn
of
the
staircase
.
At
this
point
I
precipitately
found
myself
aware
of
three
things
.
They
were
practically
simultaneous
,
yet
they
had
flashes
of
succession
.
My
candle
,
under
a
bold
flourish
,
went
out
,
and
I
perceived
,
by
the
uncovered
window
,
that
the
yielding
dusk
of
earliest
morning
rendered
it
unnecessary
.
Without
it
,
the
next
instant
,
I
saw
that
there
was
someone
on
the
stair
.
I
speak
of
sequences
,
but
I
required
no
lapse
of
seconds
to
stiffen
myself
for
a
third
encounter
with
Quint
.
The
apparition
had
reached
the
landing
halfway
up
and
was
therefore
on
the
spot
nearest
the
window
,
where
at
sight
of
me
,
it
stopped
short
and
fixed
me
exactly
as
it
had
fixed
me
from
the
tower
and
from
the
garden
.
He
knew
me
as
well
as
I
knew
him
;
and
so
,
in
the
cold
,
faint
twilight
,
with
a
glimmer
in
the
high
glass
and
another
on
the
polish
of
the
oak
stair
below
,
we
faced
each
other
in
our
common
intensity
.
He
was
absolutely
,
on
this
occasion
,
a
living
,
detestable
,
dangerous
presence
.
But
that
was
not
the
wonder
of
wonders
;
I
reserve
this
distinction
for
quite
another
circumstance
:
the
circumstance
that
dread
had
unmistakably
quitted
me
and
that
there
was
nothing
in
me
there
that
did
n't
meet
and
measure
him
.
I
had
plenty
of
anguish
after
that
extraordinary
moment
,
but
I
had
,
thank
God
,
no
terror
.
And
he
knew
I
had
not
--
I
found
myself
at
the
end
of
an
instant
magnificently
aware
of
this
.
I
felt
,
in
a
fierce
rigor
of
confidence
,
that
if
I
stood
my
ground
a
minute
I
should
cease
--
for
the
time
,
at
least
--
to
have
him
to
reckon
with
;
and
during
the
minute
,
accordingly
,
the
thing
was
as
human
and
hideous
as
a
real
interview
:
hideous
just
because
it
was
human
,
as
human
as
to
have
met
alone
,
in
the
small
hours
,
in
a
sleeping
house
,
some
enemy
,
some
adventurer
,
some
criminal
.
It
was
the
dead
silence
of
our
long
gaze
at
such
close
quarters
that
gave
the
whole
horror
,
huge
as
it
was
,
its
only
note
of
the
unnatural
.
If
I
had
met
a
murderer
in
such
a
place
and
at
such
an
hour
,
we
still
at
least
would
have
spoken
Something
would
have
passed
,
in
life
,
between
us
;
if
nothing
had
passed
,
one
of
us
would
have
moved
.
The
moment
was
so
prolonged
that
it
would
have
taken
but
little
more
to
make
me
doubt
if
even
I
were
in
life
.
I
ca
n't
express
what
followed
it
save
by
saying
that
the
silence
itself
--
which
was
indeed
in
a
manner
an
attestation
of
my
strength
--
became
the
element
into
which
I
saw
the
figure
disappear
;
in
which
I
definitely
saw
it
turn
as
I
might
have
seen
the
low
wretch
to
which
it
had
once
belonged
turn
on
receipt
of
an
order
,
and
pass
,
with
my
eyes
on
the
villainous
back
that
no
hunch
could
have
more
disfigured
,
straight
down
the
staircase
and
into
the
darkness
in
which
the
next
bend
was
lost
.
I
remained
awhile
at
the
top
of
the
stair
,
but
with
the
effect
presently
of
understanding
that
when
my
visitor
had
gone
,
he
had
gone
:
then
I
returned
to
my
room
.
The
foremost
thing
I
saw
there
by
the
light
of
the
candle
I
had
left
burning
was
that
Flora
's
little
bed
was
empty
;
and
on
this
I
caught
my
breath
with
all
the
terror
that
,
five
minutes
before
,
I
had
been
able
to
resist
.
I
dashed
at
the
place
in
which
I
had
left
her
lying
and
over
which
(
for
the
small
silk
counterpane
and
the
sheets
were
disarranged
)
the
white
curtains
had
been
deceivingly
pulled
forward
;
then
my
step
,
to
my
unutterable
relief
,
produced
an
answering
sound
:
I
perceived
an
agitation
of
the
window
blind
,
and
the
child
,
ducking
down
,
emerged
rosily
from
the
other
side
of
it
.
She
stood
there
in
so
much
of
her
candor
and
so
little
of
her
nightgown
,
with
her
pink
bare
feet
and
the
golden
glow
of
her
curls
.
She
looked
intensely
grave
,
and
I
had
never
had
such
a
sense
of
losing
an
advantage
acquired
(
the
thrill
of
which
had
just
been
so
prodigious
)
as
on
my
consciousness
that
she
addressed
me
with
a
reproach
.
"
You
naughty
:
where
have
you
been
?
"
--
instead
of
challenging
her
own
irregularity
I
found
myself
arraigned
and
explaining
.
She
herself
explained
,
for
that
matter
,
with
the
loveliest
,
eagerest
simplicity
.
She
had
known
suddenly
,
as
she
lay
there
,
that
I
was
out
of
the
room
,
and
had
jumped
up
to
see
what
had
become
of
me
.
I
had
dropped
,
with
the
joy
of
her
reappearance
,
back
into
my
chair
--
feeling
then
,
and
then
only
,
a
little
faint
;
and
she
had
pattered
straight
over
to
me
,
thrown
herself
upon
my
knee
,
given
herself
to
be
held
with
the
flame
of
the
candle
full
in
the
wonderful
little
face
that
was
still
flushed
with
sleep
.
I
remember
closing
my
eyes
an
instant
,
yieldingly
,
consciously
,
as
before
the
excess
of
something
beautiful
that
shone
out
of
the
blue
of
her
own
.
"
You
were
looking
for
me
out
of
the
window
?
"
I
said
.
"
You
thought
I
might
be
walking
in
the
grounds
?
"
