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- Генри Джеймс
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- Стр. 42/93
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"
Miss
Flora
was
with
the
woman
.
It
suited
them
all
!
"
It
suited
me
,
too
,
I
felt
,
only
too
well
;
by
which
I
mean
that
it
suited
exactly
the
particularly
deadly
view
I
was
in
the
very
act
of
forbidding
myself
to
entertain
.
But
I
so
far
succeeded
in
checking
the
expression
of
this
view
that
I
will
throw
,
just
here
,
no
further
light
on
it
than
may
be
offered
by
the
mention
of
my
final
observation
to
Mrs.
Grose
.
"
His
having
lied
and
been
impudent
are
,
I
confess
,
less
engaging
specimens
than
I
had
hoped
to
have
from
you
of
the
outbreak
in
him
of
the
little
natural
man
Still
,
"
I
mused
,
"
They
must
do
,
for
they
make
me
feel
more
than
ever
that
I
must
watch
.
"
It
made
me
blush
,
the
next
minute
,
to
see
in
my
friend
's
face
how
much
more
unreservedly
she
had
forgiven
him
than
her
anecdote
struck
me
as
presenting
to
my
own
tenderness
an
occasion
for
doing
.
This
came
out
when
,
at
the
schoolroom
door
,
she
quitted
me
.
"
Surely
you
do
n't
accuse
him
--
"
"
Of
carrying
on
an
intercourse
that
he
conceals
from
me
?
Ah
,
remember
that
,
until
further
evidence
,
I
now
accuse
nobody
.
"
Then
,
before
shutting
her
out
to
go
,
by
another
passage
,
to
her
own
place
,
"
I
must
just
wait
,
"
I
wound
up
.
I
waited
and
waited
,
and
the
days
,
as
they
elapsed
,
took
something
from
my
consternation
.
A
very
few
of
them
,
in
fact
,
passing
,
in
constant
sight
of
my
pupils
,
without
a
fresh
incident
,
sufficed
to
give
to
grievous
fancies
and
even
to
odious
memories
a
kind
of
brush
of
the
sponge
.
I
have
spoken
of
the
surrender
to
their
extraordinary
childish
grace
as
a
thing
I
could
actively
cultivate
,
and
it
may
be
imagined
if
I
neglected
now
to
address
myself
to
this
source
for
whatever
it
would
yield
.
Stranger
than
I
can
express
,
certainly
,
was
the
effort
to
struggle
against
my
new
lights
;
it
would
doubtless
have
been
,
however
,
a
greater
tension
still
had
it
not
been
so
frequently
successful
.
I
used
to
wonder
how
my
little
charges
could
help
guessing
that
I
thought
strange
things
about
them
;
and
the
circumstances
that
these
things
only
made
them
more
interesting
was
not
by
itself
a
direct
aid
to
keeping
them
in
the
dark
.
I
trembled
lest
they
should
see
that
they
were
so
immensely
more
interesting
.
Putting
things
at
the
worst
,
at
all
events
,
as
in
meditation
I
so
often
did
,
any
clouding
of
their
innocence
could
only
be
--
blameless
and
foredoomed
as
they
were
--
a
reason
the
more
for
taking
risks
.
There
were
moments
when
,
by
an
irresistible
impulse
,
I
found
myself
catching
them
up
and
pressing
them
to
my
heart
.
As
soon
as
I
had
done
so
I
used
to
say
to
myself
:
"
What
will
they
think
of
that
?
Does
n't
it
betray
too
much
?
"
It
would
have
been
easy
to
get
into
a
sad
,
wild
tangle
about
how
much
I
might
betray
;
but
the
real
account
,
I
feel
,
of
the
hours
of
peace
that
I
could
still
enjoy
was
that
the
immediate
charm
of
my
companions
was
a
beguilement
still
effective
even
under
the
shadow
of
the
possibility
that
it
was
studied
.
For
if
it
occurred
to
me
that
I
might
occasionally
excite
suspicion
by
the
little
outbreaks
of
my
sharper
passion
for
them
,
so
too
I
remember
wondering
if
I
might
n't
see
a
queerness
in
the
traceable
increase
of
their
own
demonstrations
.
They
were
at
this
period
extravagantly
and
preternaturally
fond
of
me
;
which
,
after
all
,
I
could
reflect
,
was
no
more
than
a
graceful
response
in
children
perpetually
bowed
over
and
hugged
.
The
homage
of
which
they
were
so
lavish
succeeded
,
in
truth
,
for
my
nerves
,
quite
as
well
as
if
I
never
appeared
to
myself
,
as
I
may
say
,
literally
to
catch
them
at
a
purpose
in
it
.
They
had
never
,
I
think
,
wanted
to
do
so
many
things
for
their
poor
protectress
;
I
mean
--
though
they
got
their
lessons
better
and
better
,
which
was
naturally
what
would
please
her
most
--
in
the
way
of
diverting
,
entertaining
,
surprising
her
;
reading
her
passages
,
telling
her
stories
,
acting
her
charades
,
pouncing
out
at
her
,
in
disguises
,
as
animals
and
historical
characters
,
and
above
all
astonishing
her
by
the
"
pieces
"
they
had
secretly
got
by
heart
and
could
interminably
recite
.
I
should
never
get
to
the
bottom
--
were
I
to
let
myself
go
even
now
--
of
the
prodigious
private
commentary
,
all
under
still
more
private
correction
,
with
which
,
in
these
days
,
I
overscored
their
full
hours
.
They
had
shown
me
from
the
first
a
facility
for
everything
,
a
general
faculty
which
,
taking
a
fresh
start
,
achieved
remarkable
flights
.
They
got
their
little
tasks
as
if
they
loved
them
,
and
indulged
,
from
the
mere
exuberance
of
the
gift
,
in
the
most
unimposed
little
miracles
of
memory
.
They
not
only
popped
out
at
me
as
tigers
and
as
Romans
,
but
as
Shakespeareans
,
astronomers
,
and
navigators
.
This
was
so
singularly
the
case
that
it
had
presumably
much
to
do
with
the
fact
as
to
which
,
at
the
present
day
,
I
am
at
a
loss
for
a
different
explanation
:
I
allude
to
my
unnatural
composure
on
the
subject
of
another
school
for
Miles
.
What
I
remember
is
that
I
was
content
not
,
for
the
time
,
to
open
the
question
,
and
that
contentment
must
have
sprung
from
the
sense
of
his
perpetually
striking
show
of
cleverness
.
He
was
too
clever
for
a
bad
governess
,
for
a
parson
's
daughter
,
to
spoil
;
and
the
strangest
if
not
the
brightest
thread
in
the
pensive
embroidery
I
just
spoke
of
was
the
impression
I
might
have
got
,
if
I
had
dared
to
work
it
out
,
that
he
was
under
some
influence
operating
in
his
small
intellectual
life
as
a
tremendous
incitement
.
If
it
was
easy
to
reflect
,
however
,
that
such
a
boy
could
postpone
school
,
it
was
at
least
as
marked
that
for
such
a
boy
to
have
been
"
kicked
out
"
by
a
schoolmaster
was
a
mystification
without
end
.
