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"
On
the
contrary
.
I
sketched
her
one
night
on
a
theatre
program
,
I
think
she
’
ll
last
.
"
They
were
both
restless
in
the
night
.
In
a
day
or
two
Dick
would
try
to
banish
the
ghost
of
Rosemary
before
it
became
walled
up
with
them
,
but
for
the
moment
he
had
no
force
to
do
it
.
Sometimes
it
is
harder
to
deprive
oneself
of
a
pain
than
of
a
pleasure
and
the
memory
so
possessed
him
that
for
the
moment
there
was
nothing
to
do
but
to
pretend
.
This
was
more
difficult
because
he
was
currently
annoyed
with
Nicole
,
who
,
after
all
these
years
,
should
recognize
symptoms
of
strain
in
herself
and
guard
against
them
.
Twice
within
a
fortnight
she
had
broken
up
:
there
had
been
the
night
of
the
dinner
at
Tarmes
when
he
had
found
her
in
her
bedroom
dissolved
in
crazy
laughter
telling
Mrs
.
McKisco
she
could
not
go
in
the
bathroom
because
the
key
was
thrown
down
the
well
.
Mrs
.
McKisco
was
astonished
and
resentful
,
baffled
and
yet
in
a
way
comprehending
.
Dick
had
not
been
particularly
alarmed
then
,
for
afterward
Nicole
was
repentant
.
She
called
at
Gausse
’
s
Hotel
but
the
McKiscos
were
gone
The
collapse
in
Paris
was
another
matter
,
adding
significance
to
the
first
one
.
It
prophesied
possibly
a
new
cycle
,
a
new
pousse
of
the
malady
.
Having
gone
through
unprofessional
agonies
during
her
long
relapse
following
Topsy
’
s
birth
,
he
had
,
perforce
,
hardened
himself
about
her
,
making
a
cleavage
between
Nicole
sick
and
Nicole
well
.
This
made
it
difficult
now
to
distinguish
between
his
self
-
protective
professional
detachment
and
some
new
coldness
in
his
heart
.
As
an
indifference
cherished
,
or
left
to
atrophy
,
becomes
an
emptiness
,
to
this
extent
he
had
learned
to
become
empty
of
Nicole
,
serving
her
against
his
will
with
negations
and
emotional
neglect
.
One
writes
of
scars
healed
,
a
loose
parallel
to
the
pathology
of
the
skin
,
but
there
is
no
such
thing
in
the
life
of
an
individual
.
There
are
open
wounds
,
shrunk
sometimes
to
the
size
of
a
pin
-
prick
but
wounds
still
.
The
marks
of
suffering
are
more
comparable
to
the
loss
of
a
finger
,
or
of
the
sight
of
an
eye
.
We
may
not
miss
them
,
either
,
for
one
minute
in
a
year
,
but
if
we
should
there
is
nothing
to
be
done
about
it
.
He
found
Nicole
in
the
garden
with
her
arms
folded
high
on
her
shoulders
.
She
looked
at
him
with
straight
gray
eyes
,
with
a
child
’
s
searching
wonder
.
"
I
went
to
Cannes
,
"
he
said
.
"
I
ran
into
Mrs
.
Speers
.
She
’
s
leaving
to
-
morrow
.
She
wanted
to
come
up
and
say
good
-
by
to
you
,
but
I
slew
the
idea
.
"
"
I
’
m
sorry
.
I
’
d
like
to
have
seen
her
.
I
like
her
.
"
"
Who
else
do
you
think
I
saw
—
Bartholomew
Tailor
.
"
"
You
didn
’
t
.
"
"
I
couldn
’
t
have
missed
that
face
of
his
,
the
old
experienced
weasel
.
He
was
looking
over
the
ground
for
Ciro
’
s
Menagerie
—
they
’
ll
all
be
down
next
year
.
I
suspected
Mrs
.
Abrams
was
a
sort
of
outpost
.
"
"
And
Baby
was
outraged
the
first
summer
we
came
here
.
"
