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- Федор Достоевский
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On
one
of
the
first
days
of
my
stay
in
Switzerland
,
I
was
strolling
about
alone
and
miserable
,
when
I
came
upon
the
children
rushing
noisily
out
of
school
,
with
their
slates
and
bags
,
and
books
,
their
games
,
their
laughter
and
shouts
--
and
my
soul
went
out
to
them
.
I
stopped
and
laughed
happily
as
I
watched
their
little
feet
moving
so
quickly
.
Girls
and
boys
,
laughing
and
crying
;
for
as
they
went
home
many
of
them
found
time
to
fight
and
make
peace
,
to
weep
and
play
.
I
forgot
my
troubles
in
looking
at
them
.
And
then
,
all
those
three
years
,
I
tried
to
understand
why
men
should
be
for
ever
tormenting
themselves
.
I
lived
the
life
of
a
child
there
,
and
thought
I
should
never
leave
the
little
village
;
indeed
,
I
was
far
from
thinking
that
I
should
ever
return
to
Russia
.
But
at
last
I
recognized
the
fact
that
Schneider
could
not
keep
me
any
longer
.
And
then
something
so
important
happened
,
that
Schneider
himself
urged
me
to
depart
.
I
am
going
to
see
now
if
can
get
good
advice
about
it
.
Perhaps
my
lot
in
life
will
be
changed
;
but
that
is
not
the
principal
thing
.
The
principal
thing
is
the
entire
change
that
has
already
come
over
me
.
I
left
many
things
behind
me
--
too
many
.
They
have
gone
.
On
the
journey
I
said
to
myself
,
'
I
am
going
into
the
world
of
men
.
I
do
n't
know
much
,
perhaps
,
but
a
new
life
has
begun
for
me
.
'
I
made
up
my
mind
to
be
honest
,
and
steadfast
in
accomplishing
my
task
.
Perhaps
I
shall
meet
with
troubles
and
many
disappointments
,
but
I
have
made
up
my
mind
to
be
polite
and
sincere
to
everyone
;
more
can
not
be
asked
of
me
.
People
may
consider
me
a
child
if
they
like
.
I
am
often
called
an
idiot
,
and
at
one
time
I
certainly
was
so
ill
that
I
was
nearly
as
bad
as
an
idiot
;
but
I
am
not
an
idiot
now
.
How
can
I
possibly
be
so
when
I
know
myself
that
I
am
considered
one
?
"
When
I
received
a
letter
from
those
dear
little
souls
,
while
passing
through
Berlin
,
I
only
then
realized
how
much
I
loved
them
.
It
was
very
,
very
painful
,
getting
that
first
little
letter
.
How
melancholy
they
had
been
when
they
saw
me
off
!
For
a
month
before
,
they
had
been
talking
of
my
departure
and
sorrowing
over
it
;
and
at
the
waterfall
,
of
an
evening
,
when
we
parted
for
the
night
,
they
would
hug
me
so
tight
and
kiss
me
so
warmly
,
far
more
so
than
before
.
And
every
now
and
then
they
would
turn
up
one
by
one
when
I
was
alone
,
just
to
give
me
a
kiss
and
a
hug
,
to
show
their
love
for
me
.
The
whole
flock
went
with
me
to
the
station
,
which
was
about
a
mile
from
the
village
,
and
every
now
and
then
one
of
them
would
stop
to
throw
his
arms
round
me
,
and
all
the
little
girls
had
tears
in
their
voices
,
though
they
tried
hard
not
to
cry
.
As
the
train
steamed
out
of
the
station
,
I
saw
them
all
standing
on
the
platform
waving
to
me
and
crying
'
Hurrah
!
'
till
they
were
lost
in
the
distance
.
"
I
assure
you
,
when
I
came
in
here
just
now
and
saw
your
kind
faces
(
I
can
read
faces
well
)
my
heart
felt
light
for
the
first
time
since
that
moment
of
parting
.
I
think
I
must
be
one
of
those
who
are
born
to
be
in
luck
,
for
one
does
not
often
meet
with
people
whom
one
feels
he
can
love
from
the
first
sight
of
their
faces
;
and
yet
,
no
sooner
do
I
step
out
of
the
railway
carriage
than
I
happen
upon
you
!
"
I
know
it
is
more
or
less
a
shamefaced
thing
to
speak
of
one
's
feelings
before
others
;
and
yet
here
am
I
talking
like
this
to
you
,
and
am
not
a
bit
ashamed
or
shy
.
I
am
an
unsociable
sort
of
fellow
and
shall
very
likely
not
come
to
see
you
again
for
some
time
;
but
do
n't
think
the
worse
of
me
for
that
.
It
is
not
that
I
do
not
value
your
society
;
and
you
must
never
suppose
that
I
have
taken
offence
at
anything
.
"
You
asked
me
about
your
faces
,
and
what
I
could
read
in
them
;
I
will
tell
you
with
the
greatest
pleasure
.
You
,
Adelaida
Ivanovna
,
have
a
very
happy
face
;
it
is
the
most
sympathetic
of
the
three
.
Not
to
speak
of
your
natural
beauty
,
one
can
look
at
your
face
and
say
to
one
's
self
,
'
She
has
the
face
of
a
kind
sister
.
'
You
are
simple
and
merry
,
but
you
can
see
into
another
's
heart
very
quickly
.
That
's
what
I
read
in
your
face
.
"
You
too
,
Alexandra
Ivanovna
,
have
a
very
lovely
face
;
but
I
think
you
may
have
some
secret
sorrow
.
Your
heart
is
undoubtedly
a
kind
,
good
one
,
but
you
are
not
merry
.
There
is
a
certain
suspicion
of
'
shadow
'
in
your
face
,
like
in
that
of
Holbein
's
Madonna
in
Dresden
.
So
much
for
your
face
Have
I
guessed
right
?
"
As
for
your
face
,
Lizabetha
Prokofievna
,
I
not
only
think
,
but
am
perfectly
sure
,
that
you
are
an
absolute
child
--
in
all
,
in
all
,
mind
,
both
good
and
bad
--
and
in
spite
of
your
years
.
Do
n't
be
angry
with
me
for
saying
so
;
you
know
what
my
feelings
for
children
are
.
And
do
not
suppose
that
I
am
so
candid
out
of
pure
simplicity
of
soul
.
Oh
dear
no
,
it
is
by
no
means
the
case
!
Perhaps
I
have
my
own
very
profound
object
in
view
.
"
