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- Федор Достоевский
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"
The
children
did
not
love
me
at
first
;
I
was
such
a
sickly
,
awkward
kind
of
a
fellow
then
--
and
I
know
I
am
ugly
.
Besides
,
I
was
a
foreigner
.
The
children
used
to
laugh
at
me
,
at
first
;
and
they
even
went
so
far
as
to
throw
stones
at
me
,
when
they
saw
me
kiss
Marie
.
I
only
kissed
her
once
in
my
life
--
no
,
no
,
do
n't
laugh
!
"
The
prince
hastened
to
suppress
the
smiles
of
his
audience
at
this
point
.
"
It
was
not
a
matter
of
love
at
all
!
If
only
you
knew
what
a
miserable
creature
she
was
,
you
would
have
pitied
her
,
just
as
I
did
.
She
belonged
to
our
village
.
Her
mother
was
an
old
,
old
woman
,
and
they
used
to
sell
string
and
thread
,
and
soap
and
tobacco
,
out
of
the
window
of
their
little
house
,
and
lived
on
the
pittance
they
gained
by
this
trade
.
The
old
woman
was
ill
and
very
old
,
and
could
hardly
move
.
Marie
was
her
daughter
,
a
girl
of
twenty
,
weak
and
thin
and
consumptive
;
but
still
she
did
heavy
work
at
the
houses
around
,
day
by
day
.
Well
,
one
fine
day
a
commercial
traveller
betrayed
her
and
carried
her
off
;
and
a
week
later
he
deserted
her
.
She
came
home
dirty
,
draggled
,
and
shoeless
;
she
had
walked
for
a
whole
week
without
shoes
;
she
had
slept
in
the
fields
,
and
caught
a
terrible
cold
;
her
feet
were
swollen
and
sore
,
and
her
hands
torn
and
scratched
all
over
.
She
never
had
been
pretty
even
before
;
but
her
eyes
were
quiet
,
innocent
,
kind
eyes
.
"
She
was
very
quiet
always
--
and
I
remember
once
,
when
she
had
suddenly
begun
singing
at
her
work
,
everyone
said
,
'
Marie
tried
to
sing
today
!
'
and
she
got
so
chaffed
that
she
was
silent
for
ever
after
.
She
had
been
treated
kindly
in
the
place
before
;
but
when
she
came
back
now
--
ill
and
shunned
and
miserable
--
not
one
of
them
all
had
the
slightest
sympathy
for
her
.
Cruel
people
!
Oh
,
what
hazy
understandings
they
have
on
such
matters
!
Her
mother
was
the
first
to
show
the
way
.
She
received
her
wrathfully
,
unkindly
,
and
with
contempt
.
'
You
have
disgraced
me
,
'
she
said
.
She
was
the
first
to
cast
her
into
ignominy
;
but
when
they
all
heard
that
Marie
had
returned
to
the
village
,
they
ran
out
to
see
her
and
crowded
into
the
little
cottage
--
old
men
,
children
,
women
,
girls
--
such
a
hurrying
,
stamping
,
greedy
crowd
.
Marie
was
lying
on
the
floor
at
the
old
woman
's
feet
,
hungry
,
torn
,
draggled
,
crying
,
miserable
.
"
When
everyone
crowded
into
the
room
she
hid
her
face
in
her
dishevelled
hair
and
lay
cowering
on
the
floor
.
Everyone
looked
at
her
as
though
she
were
a
piece
of
dirt
off
the
road
.
The
old
men
scolded
and
condemned
,
and
the
young
ones
laughed
at
her
.
The
women
condemned
her
too
,
and
looked
at
her
contemptuously
,
just
as
though
she
were
some
loathsome
insect
.
"
Her
mother
allowed
all
this
to
go
on
,
and
nodded
her
head
and
encouraged
them
.
The
old
woman
was
very
ill
at
that
time
,
and
knew
she
was
dying
(
she
really
did
die
a
couple
of
months
later
)
,
and
though
she
felt
the
end
approaching
she
never
thought
of
forgiving
her
daughter
,
to
the
very
day
of
her
death
.
She
would
not
even
speak
to
her
.
She
made
her
sleep
on
straw
in
a
shed
,
and
hardly
gave
her
food
enough
to
support
life
.
"
Marie
was
very
gentle
to
her
mother
,
and
nursed
her
,
and
did
everything
for
her
;
but
the
old
woman
accepted
all
her
services
without
a
word
and
never
showed
her
the
slightest
kindness
.
Marie
bore
all
this
;
and
I
could
see
when
I
got
to
know
her
that
she
thought
it
quite
right
and
fitting
,
considering
herself
the
lowest
and
meanest
of
creatures
.
"
When
the
old
woman
took
to
her
bed
finally
,
the
other
old
women
in
the
village
sat
with
her
by
turns
,
as
the
custom
is
there
;
and
then
Marie
was
quite
driven
out
of
the
house
.
They
gave
her
no
food
at
all
,
and
she
could
not
get
any
work
in
the
village
;
none
would
employ
her
.
The
men
seemed
to
consider
her
no
longer
a
woman
,
they
said
such
dreadful
things
to
her
.
Sometimes
on
Sundays
,
if
they
were
drunk
enough
,
they
used
to
throw
her
a
penny
or
two
,
into
the
mud
,
and
Marie
would
silently
pick
up
the
money
.
She
had
began
to
spit
blood
at
that
time
.
"
At
last
her
rags
became
so
tattered
and
torn
that
she
was
ashamed
of
appearing
in
the
village
any
longer
.
The
children
used
to
pelt
her
with
mud
;
so
she
begged
to
be
taken
on
as
assistant
cowherd
,
but
the
cowherd
would
not
have
her
.
Then
she
took
to
helping
him
without
leave
;
and
he
saw
how
valuable
her
assistance
was
to
him
,
and
did
not
drive
her
away
again
;
on
the
contrary
,
he
occasionally
gave
her
the
remnants
of
his
dinner
,
bread
and
cheese
.
He
considered
that
he
was
being
very
kind
.
When
the
mother
died
,
the
village
parson
was
not
ashamed
to
hold
Marie
up
to
public
derision
and
shame
.
Marie
was
standing
at
the
coffin
's
head
,
in
all
her
rags
,
crying
.
"
A
crowd
of
people
had
collected
to
see
how
she
would
cry
.
The
parson
,
a
young
fellow
ambitious
of
becoming
a
great
preacher
,
began
his
sermon
and
pointed
to
Marie
.
