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"
There
were
a
couple
of
old
bullets
in
the
bag
which
contained
the
pistol
,
and
powder
enough
in
an
old
flask
for
two
or
three
charges
.
"
The
pistol
was
a
wretched
thing
,
very
crooked
and
would
n't
carry
farther
than
fifteen
paces
at
the
most
.
However
,
it
would
send
your
skull
flying
well
enough
if
you
pressed
the
muzzle
of
it
against
your
temple
.
"
I
determined
to
die
at
Pavlofsk
at
sunrise
,
in
the
park
--
so
as
to
make
no
commotion
in
the
house
.
"
This
'
explanation
'
will
make
the
matter
clear
enough
to
the
police
.
Students
of
psychology
,
and
anyone
else
who
likes
,
may
make
what
they
please
of
it
.
I
should
not
like
this
paper
,
however
,
to
be
made
public
.
I
request
the
prince
to
keep
a
copy
himself
,
and
to
give
a
copy
to
Aglaya
Ivanovna
Epanchin
.
This
is
my
last
will
and
testament
.
As
for
my
skeleton
,
I
bequeath
it
to
the
Medical
Academy
for
the
benefit
of
science
.
"
I
recognize
no
jurisdiction
over
myself
,
and
I
know
that
I
am
now
beyond
the
power
of
laws
and
judges
.
"
A
little
while
ago
a
very
amusing
idea
struck
me
.
What
if
I
were
now
to
commit
some
terrible
crime
--
murder
ten
fellow-creatures
,
for
instance
,
or
anything
else
that
is
thought
most
shocking
and
dreadful
in
this
world
--
what
a
dilemma
my
judges
would
be
in
,
with
a
criminal
who
only
has
a
fortnight
to
live
in
any
case
,
now
that
the
rack
and
other
forms
of
torture
are
abolished
!
Why
,
I
should
die
comfortably
in
their
own
hospital
--
in
a
warm
,
clean
room
,
with
an
attentive
doctor
--
probably
much
more
comfortably
than
I
should
at
home
.
"
I
do
n't
understand
why
people
in
my
position
do
not
oftener
indulge
in
such
ideas
--
if
only
for
a
joke
!
Perhaps
they
do
!
Who
knows
!
There
are
plenty
of
merry
souls
among
us
!
"
But
though
I
do
not
recognize
any
jurisdiction
over
myself
,
still
I
know
that
I
shall
be
judged
,
when
I
am
nothing
but
a
voiceless
lump
of
clay
;
therefore
I
do
not
wish
to
go
before
I
have
left
a
word
of
reply
--
the
reply
of
a
free
man
--
not
one
forced
to
justify
himself
--
oh
no
!
I
have
no
need
to
ask
forgiveness
of
anyone
.
I
wish
to
say
a
word
merely
because
I
happen
to
desire
it
of
my
own
free
will
.
"
Here
,
in
the
first
place
,
comes
a
strange
thought
!