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- Федор Достоевский
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- Преступление и наказание
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- Стр. 354/453
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“
N
-
no
,
”
Sonia
whispered
naïvely
and
timidly
.
“
Only
speak
,
speak
,
I
shall
understand
,
I
shall
understand
in
myself
!
”
she
kept
begging
him
.
“
You
’
ll
understand
?
Very
well
,
we
shall
see
!
”
He
paused
and
was
for
some
time
lost
in
meditation
.
“
It
was
like
this
:
I
asked
myself
one
day
this
question
—
what
if
Napoleon
,
for
instance
,
had
happened
to
be
in
my
place
,
and
if
he
had
not
had
Toulon
nor
Egypt
nor
the
passage
of
Mont
Blanc
to
begin
his
career
with
,
but
instead
of
all
those
picturesque
and
monumental
things
,
there
had
simply
been
some
ridiculous
old
hag
,
a
pawnbroker
,
who
had
to
be
murdered
too
to
get
money
from
her
trunk
(
for
his
career
,
you
understand
)
.
Well
,
would
he
have
brought
himself
to
that
if
there
had
been
no
other
means
?
Wouldn
’
t
he
have
felt
a
pang
at
its
being
so
far
from
monumental
and
.
.
.
and
sinful
,
too
?
Well
,
I
must
tell
you
that
I
worried
myself
fearfully
over
that
‘
question
’
so
that
I
was
awfully
ashamed
when
I
guessed
at
last
(
all
of
a
sudden
,
somehow
)
that
it
would
not
have
given
him
the
least
pang
,
that
it
would
not
even
have
struck
him
that
it
was
not
monumental
.
.
.
that
he
would
not
have
seen
that
there
was
anything
in
it
to
pause
over
,
and
that
,
if
he
had
had
no
other
way
,
he
would
have
strangled
her
in
a
minute
without
thinking
about
it
!
Well
,
I
too
.
.
.
left
off
thinking
about
it
.
.
.
murdered
her
,
following
his
example
.
And
that
’
s
exactly
how
it
was
!
Do
you
think
it
funny
?
Yes
,
Sonia
,
the
funniest
thing
of
all
is
that
perhaps
that
’
s
just
how
it
was
.
”
Sonia
did
not
think
it
at
all
funny
.
“
You
had
better
tell
me
straight
out
.
.
.
without
examples
,
”
she
begged
,
still
more
timidly
and
scarcely
audibly
.
He
turned
to
her
,
looked
sadly
at
her
and
took
her
hands
.
“
You
are
right
again
,
Sonia
.
Of
course
that
’
s
all
nonsense
,
it
’
s
almost
all
talk
!
You
see
,
you
know
of
course
that
my
mother
has
scarcely
anything
,
my
sister
happened
to
have
a
good
education
and
was
condemned
to
drudge
as
a
governess
.
All
their
hopes
were
centered
on
me
.
I
was
a
student
,
but
I
couldn
’
t
keep
myself
at
the
university
and
was
forced
for
a
time
to
leave
it
.
Even
if
I
had
lingered
on
like
that
,
in
ten
or
twelve
years
I
might
(
with
luck
)
hope
to
be
some
sort
of
teacher
or
clerk
with
a
salary
of
a
thousand
roubles
”
(
he
repeated
it
as
though
it
were
a
lesson
)
“
and
by
that
time
my
mother
would
be
worn
out
with
grief
and
anxiety
and
I
could
not
succeed
in
keeping
her
in
comfort
while
my
sister
.
.
.
well
,
my
sister
might
well
have
fared
worse
!
And
it
’
s
a
hard
thing
to
pass
everything
by
all
one
’
s
life
,
to
turn
one
’
s
back
upon
everything
,
to
forget
one
’
s
mother
and
decorously
accept
the
insults
inflicted
on
one
’
s
sister
.
Why
should
one
?
When
one
has
buried
them
to
burden
oneself
with
others
—
wife
and
children
—
and
to
leave
them
again
without
a
farthing
?
So
I
resolved
to
gain
possession
of
the
old
woman
’
s
money
and
to
use
it
for
my
first
years
without
worrying
my
mother
,
to
keep
myself
at
the
university
and
for
a
little
while
after
leaving
it
—
and
to
do
this
all
on
a
broad
,
thorough
scale
,
so
as
to
build
up
a
completely
new
career
and
enter
upon
a
new
life
of
independence
.
.
.
.
Well
.
.
.
that
’
s
all
.
.
.
.
Well
,
of
course
in
killing
the
old
woman
I
did
wrong
.
.
.
.
Well
,
that
’
s
enough
.
”
He
struggled
to
the
end
of
his
speech
in
exhaustion
and
let
his
head
sink
.
