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I
think
that
we
are
born
into
a
time
of
great
difficulty
,
he
thought
.
I
think
any
other
time
was
probably
easier
.
One
suffers
little
because
all
of
us
have
been
formed
to
resist
suffering
.
They
who
suffer
are
unsuited
to
this
climate
.
But
it
is
a
time
of
difficult
decisions
.
The
fascists
attacked
and
made
our
decision
for
us
.
We
fight
to
live
.
But
I
would
like
to
have
it
so
that
I
could
tie
a
handkerchief
to
that
bush
back
there
and
come
in
the
daylight
and
take
the
eggs
and
put
them
under
a
hen
and
be
able
to
see
the
chicks
of
the
partridge
in
my
own
courtyard
.
I
would
like
such
small
and
regular
things
.
But
you
have
no
house
and
no
courtyard
in
your
no
-
house
,
he
thought
.
You
have
no
family
but
a
brother
who
goes
to
battle
tomorrow
and
you
own
nothing
but
the
wind
and
the
sun
and
an
empty
belly
.
The
wind
is
small
,
he
thought
,
and
there
is
no
sun
.
You
have
four
grenades
in
your
pocket
but
they
are
only
good
to
throw
away
.
You
have
a
carbine
on
your
back
but
it
is
only
good
to
give
away
bullets
You
have
a
message
to
give
away
.
And
you
’
re
full
of
crap
that
you
can
give
to
the
earth
,
he
grinned
in
the
dark
.
You
can
anoint
it
also
with
urine
.
Everything
you
have
is
to
give
.
Thou
art
a
phenomenon
of
philosophy
and
an
unfortunate
man
,
he
told
himself
and
grinned
again
.
But
for
all
his
noble
thinking
a
little
while
before
there
was
in
him
that
reprieved
feeling
that
had
always
come
with
the
sound
of
rain
in
the
village
on
the
morning
of
the
fiesta
.
Ahead
of
him
now
at
the
top
of
the
ridge
was
the
government
position
where
he
knew
he
would
be
challenged
.
Robert
Jordan
lay
in
the
robe
beside
the
girl
Maria
who
was
still
sleeping
.
He
lay
on
his
side
turned
away
from
the
girl
and
he
felt
her
long
body
against
his
back
and
the
touch
of
it
now
was
just
an
irony
.
You
,
you
,
he
raged
at
himself
.
Yes
,
you
.
You
told
yourself
the
first
time
you
saw
him
that
when
he
would
be
friendly
would
be
when
the
treachery
would
come
.
You
damned
fool
.
You
utter
blasted
damned
fool
.
Chuck
all
that
.
That
’
s
not
what
you
have
to
do
now
.
What
are
the
chances
that
he
hid
them
or
threw
them
away
?
Not
so
good
.
Besides
you
’
d
never
find
them
in
the
dark
.
He
would
have
kept
them
.
He
took
some
dynamite
,
too
.
Oh
,
the
dirty
,
vile
,
treacherous
sod
.
The
dirty
rotten
crut
.
Why
couldn
’
t
he
have
just
mucked
off
and
not
have
taken
the
exploder
and
the
detonators
?
Why
was
I
such
an
utter
goddamned
fool
as
to
leave
them
with
that
bloody
woman
?
The
smart
,
treacherous
ugly
bastard
.
The
dirty
cabrón
.
Cut
it
out
and
take
it
easy
,
he
told
himself
.
You
had
to
take
chances
and
that
was
the
best
there
was
.
You
’
re
just
mucked
,
he
told
himself
.
You
’
re
mucked
for
good
and
higher
than
a
kite
.
Keep
your
damned
head
and
get
the
anger
out
and
stop
this
cheap
lamenting
like
a
damned
wailing
wall
.
It
’
s
gone
.
God
damn
you
,
it
’
s
gone
.
Oh
damn
the
dirty
swine
to
hell
.
You
can
muck
your
way
out
of
it
.
You
’
ve
got
to
,
you
know
you
’
ve
got
to
blow
it
if
you
have
to
stand
there
and
—
cut
out
that
stuff
,
too
.
Why
don
’
t
you
ask
your
grandfather
?
Oh
,
muck
my
grandfather
and
muck
this
whole
treacherous
muck
-
faced
mucking
country
and
every
mucking
Spaniard
in
it
on
either
side
and
to
hell
forever
.
Muck
them
to
hell
together
,
Largo
,
Prieto
,
Asensio
,
Miaja
,
Rojo
,
all
of
them
.
Muck
every
one
of
them
to
death
to
hell
.
Muck
the
whole
treachery
-
ridden
country
.
Muck
their
egotism
and
their
selfishness
and
their
selfishness
and
their
egotism
and
their
conceit
and
their
treachery
.
Muck
them
to
hell
and
always
.
Muck
them
before
we
die
for
them
.
Muck
them
after
we
die
for
them
.
Muck
them
to
death
and
hell
.
God
muck
Pablo
.
Pablo
is
all
of
them
.
God
pity
the
Spanish
people
.
Any
leader
they
have
will
muck
them
.
One
good
man
,
Pablo
Iglesias
,
in
two
thousand
years
and
everybody
else
mucking
them
.
How
do
we
know
how
he
would
have
stood
up
in
this
war
?
I
remember
when
I
thought
Largo
was
O
.
K
.
Durruti
was
good
and
his
own
people
shot
him
there
at
the
Puente
de
los
Franceses
.
Shot
him
because
he
wanted
them
to
attack
.
Shot
him
in
the
glorious
discipline
of
indiscipline
.
The
cowardly
swine
.
Oh
muck
them
all
to
hell
and
be
damned
.
And
that
Pablo
that
just
mucked
off
with
my
exploder
and
my
box
of
detonators
.
Oh
muck
him
to
deepest
hell
.
But
no
.
He
’
s
mucked
us
instead
.
They
always
muck
you
instead
,
from
Cortez
and
Menendez
de
Avila
down
to
Miaja
.
Look
at
what
Miaja
did
to
Kleber
.
The
bald
egotistical
swine
.
The
stupid
egg
-
headed
bastard
.
Muck
all
the
insane
,
egotistical
,
treacherous
swine
that
have
always
governed
Spain
and
ruled
her
armies
.
Muck
everybody
but
the
people
and
then
be
damned
careful
what
they
turn
into
when
they
have
power
.
