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Well
,
I
don
’
t
want
to
be
a
soldier
,
he
thought
.
I
know
that
.
So
that
’
s
out
.
I
just
want
us
to
win
this
war
.
I
guess
really
good
soldiers
are
really
good
at
very
little
else
,
he
thought
.
That
’
s
obviously
untrue
.
Look
at
Napoleon
and
Wellington
.
You
’
re
very
stupid
this
evening
,
he
thought
.
Usually
his
mind
was
very
good
company
and
tonight
it
had
been
when
he
thought
about
his
grandfather
.
Then
thinking
of
his
father
had
thrown
him
off
.
He
understood
his
father
and
he
forgave
him
everything
and
he
pitied
him
but
he
was
ashamed
of
him
.
You
better
not
think
at
all
,
he
told
himself
.
Soon
you
will
be
with
Maria
and
you
won
’
t
have
to
think
.
That
’
s
the
best
way
now
that
everything
is
worked
out
.
When
you
have
been
concentrating
so
hard
on
something
you
can
’
t
stop
and
your
brain
gets
to
racing
like
a
flywheel
with
the
weight
gone
.
You
better
just
not
think
.
But
just
suppose
,
he
thought
.
Just
suppose
that
when
the
planes
unload
they
smash
those
anti
-
tank
guns
and
just
blow
hell
out
of
the
positions
and
the
old
tanks
roll
good
up
whatever
hill
it
is
for
once
and
old
Golz
boots
that
bunch
of
drunks
,
clochards
,
bums
,
fanatics
and
heroes
that
make
up
the
Quatorzième
Brigade
ahead
of
him
,
and
I
know
how
good
Durán
’
s
people
are
in
Golz
’
s
other
brigade
,
and
we
are
in
Segovia
tomorrow
night
.
Yes
.
Just
suppose
,
he
said
to
himself
.
I
’
ll
settle
for
La
Granja
,
he
told
himself
.
But
you
are
going
to
have
to
blow
that
bridge
,
he
suddenly
knew
absolutely
.
There
won
’
t
be
any
calling
off
.
Because
the
way
you
have
just
been
supposing
there
for
a
minute
is
how
the
possibilities
of
that
attack
look
to
those
who
have
ordered
it
Yes
,
you
will
have
to
blow
the
bridge
,
he
knew
truly
.
Whatever
happens
to
Andrés
doesn
’
t
matter
.
Coming
down
the
trail
there
in
the
dark
,
alone
with
the
good
feeling
that
everything
that
had
to
be
done
was
over
for
the
next
four
hours
,
and
with
the
confidence
that
had
come
from
thinking
back
to
concrete
things
,
the
knowledge
that
he
would
surely
have
to
blow
the
bridge
came
to
him
almost
with
comfort
.
The
uncertainty
,
the
enlargement
of
the
feeling
of
being
uncertain
,
as
when
,
through
a
misunderstanding
of
possible
dates
,
one
does
not
know
whether
the
guests
are
really
coming
to
a
party
,
that
had
been
with
him
ever
since
he
had
dispatched
Andrés
with
the
report
to
Golz
,
had
all
dropped
from
him
now
.
He
was
sure
now
that
the
festival
would
not
be
cancelled
.
It
’
s
much
better
to
be
sure
,
he
thought
.
It
’
s
always
much
better
to
be
sure
.
So
now
they
were
in
the
robe
again
together
and
it
was
late
in
the
last
night
.
Maria
lay
close
against
him
and
he
felt
the
long
smoothness
of
her
thighs
against
his
and
her
breasts
like
two
small
hills
that
rise
out
of
the
long
plain
where
there
is
a
well
,
and
the
far
country
beyond
the
hills
was
the
valley
of
her
throat
where
his
lips
were
.
He
lay
very
quiet
and
did
not
think
and
she
stroked
his
head
with
her
hand
.
