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I
ll
see
him
at
Gaylord
s
,
he
said
to
himself
again
,
after
this
is
over
.
Don
t
kid
yourself
,
he
said
.
You
do
it
all
perfectly
O
.
K
.
Cold
.
Without
kidding
yourself
.
You
aren
t
going
to
see
Durán
any
more
and
it
is
of
no
importance
.
Don
t
be
that
way
either
,
he
told
himself
.
Don
t
go
in
for
any
of
those
luxuries
.
Nor
for
heroic
resignation
either
.
We
do
not
want
any
citizens
full
of
heroic
resignation
in
these
hills
.
Your
grandfather
fought
four
years
in
our
Civil
War
and
you
are
just
finishing
your
first
year
in
this
war
.
You
have
a
long
time
to
go
yet
and
you
are
very
well
fitted
for
the
work
.
And
now
you
have
Maria
,
too
.
Why
,
you
ve
got
everything
.
You
shouldn
t
worry
.
What
is
a
little
brush
between
a
guerilla
band
and
a
squadron
of
cavalry
?
That
isn
t
anything
.
What
if
they
took
the
heads
?
Does
that
make
any
difference
?
None
at
all
.
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The
Indians
always
took
the
scalps
when
Grandfather
was
at
Fort
Kearny
after
the
war
.
Do
you
remember
the
cabinet
in
your
father
s
office
with
the
arrowheads
spread
out
on
a
shelf
,
and
the
eagle
feathers
of
the
war
bonnets
that
hung
on
the
wall
,
their
plumes
slanting
,
the
smoked
buckskin
smell
of
the
leggings
and
the
shirts
and
the
feel
of
the
beaded
moccasins
?
Do
you
remember
the
great
stave
of
the
buffalo
bow
that
leaned
in
a
corner
of
the
cabinet
and
the
two
quivers
of
hunting
and
war
arrows
,
and
how
the
bundle
of
shafts
felt
when
you
closed
your
hand
around
them
?
Remember
something
like
that
.
Remember
something
concrete
and
practical
.
Remember
Grandfather
s
saber
,
bright
and
well
oiled
in
its
dented
scabbard
and
Grandfather
showed
you
how
the
blade
had
been
thinned
from
the
many
times
it
had
been
to
the
grinder
s
.
Remember
Grandfather
s
Smith
and
Wesson
.
It
was
a
single
action
,
officer
s
model
.
32
caliber
and
there
was
no
trigger
guard
.
It
had
the
softest
,
sweetest
trigger
pull
you
had
ever
felt
and
it
was
always
well
oiled
and
the
bore
was
clean
although
the
finish
was
all
worn
off
and
the
brown
metal
of
the
barrel
and
the
cylinder
was
worn
smooth
from
the
leather
of
the
holster
.
It
was
kept
in
the
holster
with
a
U
.
S
.
on
the
flap
in
a
drawer
in
the
cabinet
with
its
cleaning
equipment
and
two
hundred
rounds
of
cartridges
.
Their
cardboard
boxes
were
wrapped
and
tied
neatly
with
waxed
twine
.
You
could
take
the
pistol
out
of
the
drawer
and
hold
it
.
"
Handle
it
freely
,
"
was
Grandfather
s
expression
.
But
you
could
not
play
with
it
because
it
was
"
a
serious
weapon
.
"
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You
asked
Grandfather
once
if
he
had
ever
killed
any
one
with
it
and
he
said
,
"
Yes
.
"
Then
you
said
,
"
When
,
Grandfather
?
"
and
he
said
,
"
In
the
War
of
the
Rebellion
and
afterwards
.
"
You
said
,
"
Will
you
tell
me
about
it
,
Grandfather
?
"