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You
only
heard
the
statement
of
the
loss
.
You
did
not
see
the
father
fall
as
Pilar
made
him
see
the
fascists
die
in
that
story
she
had
told
by
the
stream
.
You
knew
the
father
died
in
some
courtyard
,
or
against
some
wall
,
or
in
some
field
or
orchard
,
or
at
night
,
in
the
lights
of
a
truck
,
beside
some
road
.
You
had
seen
the
lights
of
the
car
from
the
hills
and
heard
the
shooting
and
afterwards
you
had
come
down
to
the
road
and
found
the
bodies
.
You
did
not
see
the
mother
shot
,
nor
the
sister
,
nor
the
brother
.
You
heard
about
it
;
you
heard
the
shots
;
and
you
saw
the
bodies
.
Pilar
had
made
him
see
it
in
that
town
.
If
that
woman
could
only
write
.
He
would
try
to
write
it
and
if
he
had
luck
and
could
remember
it
perhaps
he
could
get
it
down
as
she
told
it
.
God
,
how
she
could
tell
a
story
.
She
’
s
better
than
Quevedo
,
he
thought
.
He
never
wrote
the
death
of
any
Don
Faustino
as
well
as
she
told
it
.
I
wish
I
could
write
well
enough
to
write
that
story
,
he
thought
.
What
we
did
.
Not
what
the
others
did
to
us
.
He
knew
enough
about
that
.
He
knew
plenty
about
that
behind
the
lines
.
But
you
had
to
have
known
the
people
before
.
You
had
to
know
what
they
had
been
in
the
village
.
Because
of
our
mobility
and
because
we
did
not
have
to
stay
afterwards
to
take
the
punishment
we
never
knew
how
anything
really
ended
,
he
thought
.
You
stayed
with
a
peasant
and
his
family
.
You
came
at
night
and
ate
with
them
.
In
the
day
you
were
hidden
and
the
next
night
you
were
gone
.
You
did
your
job
and
cleared
out
.
The
next
time
you
came
that
way
you
heard
that
they
had
been
shot
.
It
was
as
simple
as
that
.
But
you
were
always
gone
when
it
happened
.
The
partizans
did
their
damage
and
pulled
out
.
The
peasants
stayed
and
took
the
punishment
.
I
’
ve
always
known
about
the
other
,
he
thought
.
What
we
did
to
them
at
the
start
.
I
’
ve
always
known
it
and
hated
it
and
I
have
heard
it
mentioned
shamelessly
and
shamefully
,
bragged
of
,
boasted
of
,
defended
,
explained
and
denied
.
But
that
damned
woman
made
me
see
it
as
though
I
had
been
there
.
Well
,
he
thought
,
it
is
part
of
one
’
s
education
.
It
will
be
quite
an
education
when
it
’
s
finished
.
You
learn
in
this
war
if
you
listen
.
You
most
certainly
did
.
He
was
lucky
that
he
had
lived
parts
of
ten
years
in
Spain
before
the
war
.
They
trusted
you
on
the
language
,
principally
.
They
trusted
you
on
understanding
the
language
completely
and
speaking
it
idiomatically
and
having
a
knowledge
of
the
different
places
.
A
Spaniard
was
only
really
loyal
to
his
village
in
the
end
.
First
Spain
of
course
,
then
his
own
tribe
,
then
his
province
,
then
his
village
,
his
family
and
finally
his
trade
.
If
you
knew
Spanish
he
was
prejudiced
in
your
favor
,
if
you
knew
his
province
it
was
that
much
better
,
but
if
you
knew
his
village
and
his
trade
you
were
in
as
far
as
any
foreigner
ever
could
be
.
He
never
felt
like
a
foreigner
in
Spanish
and
they
did
not
really
treat
him
like
a
foreigner
most
of
the
time
;
only
when
they
turned
on
you
.
Of
course
they
turned
on
you
.
They
turned
on
you
often
but
they
always
turned
on
every
one
.
They
turned
on
themselves
,
too
.
If
you
had
three
together
,
two
would
unite
against
one
,
and
then
the
two
would
start
to
betray
each
other
.
Not
always
,
but
often
enough
for
you
to
take
enough
cases
and
start
to
draw
it
as
a
conclusion
.
This
was
no
way
to
think
;
but
who
censored
his
thinking
?
Nobody
but
himself
.
He
would
not
think
himself
into
any
defeatism
.
The
first
thing
was
to
win
the
war
.
If
we
did
not
win
the
war
everything
was
lost
.
But
he
noticed
,
and
listened
to
,
and
remembered
everything
.
He
was
serving
in
a
war
and
he
gave
absolute
loyalty
and
as
complete
a
performance
as
he
could
give
while
he
was
serving
.
But
nobody
owned
his
mind
,
nor
his
faculties
for
seeing
and
hearing
,
and
if
he
were
going
to
form
judgments
he
would
form
them
afterwards
.
And
there
would
be
plenty
of
material
to
draw
them
from
.
There
was
plenty
already
.
There
was
a
little
too
much
sometimes
.
Look
at
the
Pilar
woman
,
he
thought
.
No
matter
what
comes
,
if
there
is
time
,
I
must
make
her
tell
me
the
rest
of
that
story
.
Look
at
her
walking
along
with
those
two
kids
.
You
could
not
get
three
better
-
looking
products
of
Spain
than
those
.
She
is
like
a
mountain
and
the
boy
and
the
girl
are
like
young
trees
.
The
old
trees
are
all
cut
down
and
the
young
trees
are
growing
clean
like
that
.
In
spite
of
what
has
happened
to
the
two
of
them
they
look
as
fresh
and
clean
and
new
and
untouched
as
though
they
had
never
heard
of
misfortune
.
