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Before
I
recovered
sufficiently
to
see
and
hear
,
it
began
to
be
dawn
,
and
,
Nelly
,
I
'll
tell
you
what
I
thought
,
and
what
has
kept
recurring
and
recurring
till
I
feared
for
my
reason
.
I
thought
as
I
lay
there
,
with
my
head
against
that
table
leg
,
and
my
eyes
dimly
discerning
the
grey
square
of
the
window
,
that
I
was
enclosed
in
the
oak-panelled
bed
at
home
;
and
my
heart
ached
with
some
great
grief
which
,
just
waking
,
I
could
not
recollect
.
I
pondered
,
and
worried
myself
to
discover
what
it
could
be
,
and
,
most
strangely
,
the
whole
last
seven
years
of
my
life
grew
a
blank
!
I
did
not
recall
that
they
had
been
at
all
.
I
was
a
child
;
my
father
was
just
buried
,
and
my
misery
arose
from
the
separation
that
Hindley
had
ordered
between
me
and
Heathcliff
.
I
was
laid
alone
,
for
the
first
time
;
and
,
rousing
from
a
dismal
doze
after
a
night
of
weeping
,
I
lifted
my
hand
to
push
the
panels
aside
:
it
struck
the
table-top
!
I
swept
it
along
the
carpet
,
and
then
memory
burst
in
:
my
late
anguish
was
swallowed
in
a
paroxysm
of
despair
.
I
can
not
say
why
I
felt
so
wildly
wretched
:
it
must
have
been
temporary
derangement
;
for
there
is
scarcely
cause
.
But
,
supposing
at
twelve
years
old
I
had
been
wrenched
from
the
Heights
,
and
every
early
association
,
and
my
all
in
all
,
as
Heathcliff
was
at
that
time
,
and
been
converted
at
a
stroke
into
Mrs.
Linton
,
the
lady
of
Thrushcross
Grange
,
and
the
wife
of
a
stranger
:
an
exile
,
and
outcast
,
thenceforth
,
from
what
had
been
my
world
.
You
may
fancy
a
glimpse
of
the
abyss
where
I
grovelled
!
Shake
your
head
as
you
will
,
Nelly
,
you
have
helped
to
unsettle
me
!
You
should
have
spoken
to
Edgar
,
indeed
you
should
,
and
compelled
him
to
leave
me
quiet
!
Oh
,
I
'm
burning
!
I
wish
I
were
out
of
doors
!
I
wish
I
were
a
girl
again
,
half
savage
and
hardy
,
and
free
;
and
laughing
at
injuries
,
not
maddening
under
them
!
Why
am
I
so
changed
?
why
does
my
blood
rush
into
a
hell
of
tumult
at
a
few
words
?
I
'm
sure
I
should
be
myself
were
I
once
among
the
heather
on
those
hills
.
Open
the
window
again
wide
:
fasten
it
open
!
Quick
,
why
do
n't
you
move
?
"
"
Because
I
wo
n't
give
you
your
death
of
cold
,
"
I
answered
.
"
You
wo
n't
give
me
a
chance
of
life
,
you
mean
,
"
she
said
sullenly
.
"
However
,
I
'm
not
helpless
,
yet
:
I
'll
open
it
myself
.
"
And
sliding
from
the
bed
before
I
could
hinder
her
,
she
crossed
the
room
,
walking
very
uncertainly
,
threw
it
back
,
and
bent
out
,
careless
of
the
frosty
air
that
cut
about
her
shoulders
as
keen
as
a
knife
.
I
entreated
,
and
finally
attempted
to
force
her
to
retire
.
But
I
soon
found
her
delirious
strength
much
surpassed
mine
(
she
was
delirious
,
I
became
convinced
by
her
subsequent
actions
and
ravings
)
.
There
was
no
moon
,
and
everything
beneath
lay
in
misty
darkness
:
not
a
light
gleamed
from
any
house
,
far
or
near
--
all
had
been
extinguished
long
ago
;
and
those
at
Wuthering
Heights
were
never
visible
--
still
she
asserted
she
caught
their
shining
.
"
Look
!
"
she
cried
eagerly
,
"
that
's
my
room
with
the
candle
in
it
,
and
the
trees
swaying
before
it
:
and
the
other
candle
is
in
Joseph
's
garret
.
Joseph
sits
up
late
,
does
n't
he
?
He
's
waiting
till
I
come
home
that
he
may
lock
the
gate
.
Well
,
he
'll
wait
a
while
yet
.
It
's
a
rough
journey
,
and
a
sad
heart
to
travel
it
;
and
we
must
pass
by
Gimmerton
Kirk
,
to
go
that
journey
!
We
've
braved
its
ghosts
often
together
,
and
dared
each
other
to
stand
among
the
graves
and
ask
them
to
come
.
But
,
Heathcliff
,
if
I
dare
you
now
,
will
you
venture
?
If
you
do
,
I
'll
keep
you
.
I
'll
not
lie
there
by
myself
:
they
may
bury
me
twelve
feet
deep
,
and
throw
the
church
down
over
me
,
but
I
wo
n't
rest
till
you
are
with
me
.
I
never
will
!
"
She
paused
,
and
resumed
with
a
strange
smile
.
"
He
's
considering
--
he
'd
rather
I
'd
come
to
him
!
Find
a
way
,
then
!
not
through
that
kirkyard
.
You
are
slow
!
Be
content
,
you
always
followed
me
!
"
Perceiving
it
vain
to
argue
against
her
insanity
,
I
was
planning
how
I
could
reach
something
to
wrap
about
her
,
without
quitting
my
hold
of
herself
,
for
I
could
not
trust
her
alone
by
the
gaping
lattice
)
,
when
,
to
my
consternation
,
I
heard
the
rattle
of
the
door-handle
,
and
Mr.
Linton
entered
.
He
had
only
then
come
from
the
library
;
and
,
in
passing
through
the
lobby
,
had
noticed
our
talking
and
been
attracted
by
curiosity
,
or
fear
,
to
examine
what
it
signified
,
at
that
late
hour
.
"
Oh
,
sir
!
"
I
cried
,
checking
the
exclamation
risen
to
his
lips
at
the
sight
which
met
him
,
and
the
bleak
atmosphere
of
the
chamber
.
"
My
poor
mistress
is
ill
,
and
she
quite
masters
me
:
I
can
not
manage
her
at
all
;
pray
,
come
and
persuade
her
to
go
to
bed
.
Forget
your
anger
,
for
she
's
hard
to
guide
any
way
but
her
own
.
"