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The
chattering
,
negative
thoughts
in
my
mind
scattered
in
the
wind
of
this
statement
like
birds
and
jackrabbits
and
antelopes
-
they
hightailed
it
out
of
there
,
terrified
.
Silence
followed
.
An
intense
,
vibrating
,
awed
silence
.
The
lion
in
the
giant
savannah
of
my
heart
surveyed
his
newly
quiet
kingdom
with
satisfaction
He
licked
his
great
chops
once
,
closed
his
yellow
eyes
and
went
back
to
sleep
.
And
then
,
in
that
regal
silence
,
finally
-
I
began
to
meditate
on
(
and
with
)
God
.
Richard
from
Texas
has
some
cute
habits
.
Whenever
he
passes
me
in
the
Ashram
and
notices
by
my
distracted
face
that
my
thoughts
are
a
million
miles
away
,
he
says
,
"
How
’
s
David
doing
?
"
"
Mind
your
own
business
,
"
I
always
say
.
"
You
don
’
t
know
what
I
’
m
thinking
about
,
mister
.
"
Of
course
,
he
’
s
always
right
.
Another
habit
he
has
is
to
wait
for
me
when
I
come
out
of
the
meditation
hall
because
he
likes
to
see
how
wigged
out
and
spazzy
I
look
when
I
crawl
out
of
there
.
Like
I
’
ve
been
wrestling
alligators
and
ghosts
.
He
says
he
’
s
never
watched
anybody
fight
so
hard
against
herself
.
I
don
’
t
know
about
that
,
but
it
’
s
true
that
what
goes
on
in
that
dark
meditation
room
for
me
can
get
pretty
intense
.
The
most
fierce
experiences
come
when
I
let
go
of
some
last
fearful
reserve
and
permit
a
veritable
turbine
of
energy
to
unleash
itself
up
my
spine
.
It
amuses
me
now
that
I
ever
dismissed
these
ideas
of
the
kundalini
shakti
as
mere
myth
.
When
this
energy
rides
through
me
,
it
rumbles
like
a
diesel
engine
in
low
gear
,
and
all
it
asks
of
me
is
this
one
simple
request
-
Would
you
kindly
turn
yourself
inside
out
,
so
that
your
lungs
and
heart
and
offal
will
be
on
the
outside
and
the
whole
universe
will
be
on
the
inside
?
And
emotionally
,
will
you
do
the
same
?
Time
gets
all
screwy
in
this
thunderous
space
,
and
I
am
taken
-
numbed
,
dumbed
and
stunned
-
to
all
sorts
of
worlds
,
and
I
experience
every
intensity
of
sensation
:
fire
,
cold
,
hatred
,
lust
,
fear
…
When
it
’
s
all
over
,
I
wobble
to
my
feet
and
stagger
out
into
the
daylight
in
such
a
state
-
ravenously
hungry
,
desperately
thirsty
,
randier
than
a
sailor
on
a
three
-
day
shore
leave
.
Richard
is
usually
there
waiting
for
me
,
ready
to
start
laughing
.
He
always
teases
me
with
the
same
line
when
he
sees
my
confounded
and
exhausted
face
:
"
Think
you
’
ll
ever
amount
to
anything
,
Groceries
?
"
But
this
morning
in
meditation
,
after
I
heard
the
lion
roar
YOU
HAVE
NO
IDEA
HOW
STRONG
MY
LOVE
IS
,
I
came
out
of
that
meditation
cave
like
a
warrior
queen
.
Richard
didn
’
t
even
have
time
to
ask
if
I
thought
I
’
d
ever
amount
to
anything
in
this
life
before
I
looked
him
eye
to
eye
and
said
,
"
I
already
have
,
mister
.
"
"
Check
you
out
,
"
Richard
said
.
"
This
is
cause
for
celebration
.
Come
on
,
kiddo
-
I
’
ll
take
you
into
town
,
buy
you
a
Thumbs
-
Up
.
"
