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- Элизабет Гилберт
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- Ешь, молись, люби
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I
don
’
t
know
how
to
do
this
anymore
.
"
What
is
this
life
?
Do
you
understand
?
I
don
’
t
.
"
This
was
Wayan
talking
.
I
was
back
in
her
restaurant
,
eating
her
delicious
and
nutritious
multivitamin
lunch
special
,
hoping
it
would
help
ease
my
hangover
and
my
anxiety
.
Armenia
the
Brazilian
woman
was
there
,
too
,
looking
,
as
always
,
like
she
’
d
just
stopped
by
the
beauty
parlor
on
her
way
home
from
a
weekend
at
a
spa
.
Little
Tutti
was
sitting
on
the
floor
,
drawing
pictures
of
houses
,
as
usual
.
Wayan
had
just
learned
that
the
lease
on
her
shop
was
going
to
come
up
for
renewal
at
the
end
of
August
-
only
three
months
from
now
-
and
that
her
rent
would
be
raised
.
She
would
probably
have
to
move
again
because
she
couldn
’
t
afford
to
stay
here
.
Except
that
she
only
had
about
fifty
dollars
in
the
bank
,
and
no
idea
where
to
go
.
Moving
would
take
Tutti
out
of
school
again
.
They
needed
a
home
-
a
real
home
.
This
is
no
way
for
a
Balinese
person
to
live
.
"
Why
does
suffering
never
end
?
"
Wayan
asked
.
She
wasn
’
t
crying
,
merely
posing
a
simple
,
unanswerable
and
weary
question
.
"
Why
must
everything
be
repeat
and
repeat
,
never
finish
,
never
resting
?
You
work
so
hard
one
day
,
but
the
next
day
,
you
must
only
work
again
.
You
eat
,
but
the
next
day
,
you
are
already
hungry
.
You
find
love
,
then
love
go
away
.
You
are
born
with
nothing
-
no
watch
,
no
T
-
shirt
.
You
work
hard
,
then
you
die
with
nothing
-
no
watch
,
no
T
-
shirt
.
You
are
young
,
then
you
are
old
.
No
matter
how
hard
you
work
,
you
cannot
stop
getting
old
.
"
"
Not
Armenia
,
"
I
joked
.
"
She
doesn
’
t
get
old
,
apparently
.
"
Wayan
said
,
"
But
this
is
because
Armenia
is
Brazilian
,
"
catching
on
now
to
how
the
world
works
.
We
all
laughed
,
but
it
was
a
fair
breed
of
gallows
humor
,
because
there
’
s
nothing
funny
about
Wayan
’
s
situation
in
the
world
right
now
.
Here
are
the
facts
:
Single
mom
,
precocious
child
,
hand
-
to
-
mouth
business
,
imminent
poverty
,
virtual
homelessness
.
Where
will
she
go
?
Can
’
t
live
with
the
ex
-
husband
’
s
family
,
obviously
.
Wayan
’
s
own
family
are
rice
farmers
way
out
in
the
countryside
and
poor
.
If
she
goes
and
lives
with
them
,
it
’
s
the
end
of
her
business
as
a
healer
in
town
because
her
patients
won
’
t
be
able
to
reach
her
and
you
can
pretty
much
forget
about
Tutti
ever
getting
enough
education
to
go
someday
to
Animal
Doctor
College
.
Other
factors
have
emerged
over
time
.
Those
two
shy
girls
I
noticed
on
the
first
day
,
hiding
in
the
back
of
the
kitchen
?
It
turns
out
that
these
are
a
pair
of
orphans
Wayan
has
adopted
.
They
are
both
named
Ketut
(
just
to
further
confuse
this
book
)
and
we
call
them
Big
Ketut
and
Little
Ketut
.
Wayan
found
the
Ketuts
starving
and
begging
in
the
marketplace
a
few
months
ago
.
They
were
abandoned
there
by
a
Dickensian
character
of
a
woman
-
possibly
a
relative
-
who
acts
as
a
sort
of
begging
child
pimp
,
depositing
parentless
children
in
various
marketplaces
across
Bali
to
beg
for
money
,
then
picking
the
kids
up
every
night
in
a
van
,
collecting
their
proceeds
and
giving
them
a
shack
somewhere
in
which
to
sleep
.
When
Wayan
first
found
Big
and
Little
Ketut
,
they
hadn
’
t
eaten
for
days
,
had
lice
and
parasites
,
the
works
.
She
thinks
the
younger
one
is
maybe
ten
and
the
older
one
might
be
thirteen
,
but
they
don
’
t
know
their
own
ages
or
even
their
last
names
.
