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- Ешь, молись, люби
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Much
later
I
opened
my
eyes
,
and
I
knew
it
was
over
.
Not
just
my
marriage
and
not
just
my
divorce
,
but
all
the
unfinished
bleak
hollow
sadness
of
it
…
it
was
over
.
I
could
feel
that
I
was
free
.
Let
me
be
clear
-
it
’
s
not
that
I
would
never
again
think
about
my
ex
-
husband
,
or
never
again
have
any
emotions
attached
to
the
memory
of
him
.
It
’
s
just
that
this
ritual
on
the
rooftop
had
finally
given
me
a
place
where
I
could
house
those
thoughts
and
feelings
whenever
they
would
arise
in
the
future
-
and
they
will
always
arise
.
But
when
they
do
show
up
again
,
I
can
just
send
them
back
here
,
back
to
this
rooftop
of
memory
,
back
to
the
care
of
those
two
cool
blue
souls
who
already
and
always
understand
everything
.
This
is
what
rituals
are
for
.
We
do
spiritual
ceremonies
as
human
beings
in
order
to
create
a
safe
resting
place
for
our
most
complicated
feelings
of
joy
or
trauma
,
so
that
we
don
’
t
have
to
haul
those
feelings
around
with
us
forever
,
weighing
us
down
We
all
need
such
places
of
ritual
safekeeping
.
And
I
do
believe
that
if
your
culture
or
tradition
doesn
’
t
have
the
specific
ritual
you
’
re
craving
,
then
you
are
absolutely
permitted
to
make
up
a
ceremony
of
your
own
devising
,
fixing
your
own
broken
-
down
emotional
systems
with
all
the
do
-
it
-
yourself
resourcefulness
of
a
generous
plumber
/
poet
.
If
you
bring
the
right
earnestness
to
your
homemade
ceremony
,
God
will
provide
the
grace
.
And
that
is
why
we
need
God
.
So
I
stood
up
and
did
a
handstand
on
my
Guru
’
s
roof
,
to
celebrate
the
notion
of
liberation
.
I
felt
the
dusty
tiles
under
my
hands
.
I
felt
my
own
strength
and
balance
.
I
felt
the
easy
night
breeze
on
the
palms
of
my
bare
feet
.
This
kind
of
thing
-
a
spontaneous
handstand
-
isn
’
t
something
a
disembodied
cool
blue
soul
can
do
,
but
a
human
being
can
do
it
.
We
have
hands
;
we
can
stand
on
them
if
we
want
to
.
That
’
s
our
privilege
.
That
’
s
the
joy
of
a
mortal
body
.
And
that
’
s
why
God
needs
us
.
Because
God
loves
to
feel
things
through
our
hands
.
Richard
from
Texas
left
today
.
Flew
back
to
Austin
.
I
took
the
drive
with
him
to
the
airport
,
and
we
were
both
sad
.
We
stood
for
a
long
time
on
the
sidewalk
before
he
went
inside
.
"
What
am
I
gonna
do
when
I
don
’
t
have
Liz
Gilbert
to
kick
around
anymore
?
"
He
sighed
.
Then
he
said
,
"
You
’
ve
had
a
good
experience
at
the
Ashram
,
haven
’
t
you
?
You
look
all
different
from
a
few
months
back
,
like
maybe
you
chucked
out
some
of
that
sorrow
you
been
hauling
around
.
"
"
I
’
m
feeling
really
happy
these
days
,
Richard
.
"
"
Well
,
just
remember
-
all
your
misery
will
be
waiting
for
you
at
the
door
upon
your
exit
,
should
you
care
to
pick
it
up
again
when
you
leave
.
"
"
I
won
’
t
pick
it
up
again
.
"
"
Good
girl
.
"
