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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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"
Yes
,
sir
,
that
’
s
right
,
"
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
agreed
.
"
You
may
outrank
me
,
sir
,
but
I
’
m
still
your
commanding
officer
.
So
you
better
do
what
I
tell
you
,
sir
,
or
you
’
ll
get
into
trouble
.
Go
to
the
hospital
and
tell
them
you
’
re
sick
,
sir
.
Stay
there
until
your
uniform
allowance
catches
up
with
you
and
you
have
some
money
to
buy
some
uniforms
.
"
"
Yes
,
sir
.
"
"
And
some
shoes
,
sir
.
Buy
some
shoes
the
first
chance
you
get
,
sir
.
"
"
Yes
,
sir
.
I
will
,
sir
.
"
"
Thank
you
,
sir
.
"
Life
in
cadet
school
for
Major
Major
was
no
different
than
life
had
been
for
him
all
along
.
Whoever
he
was
with
always
wanted
him
to
be
with
someone
else
.
His
instructors
gave
him
preferred
treatment
at
every
stage
in
order
to
push
him
along
quickly
and
be
rid
of
him
.
In
almost
no
time
he
had
his
pilot
’
s
wings
and
found
himself
overseas
,
where
things
began
suddenly
to
improve
.
All
his
life
,
Major
Major
had
longed
for
but
one
thing
,
to
be
absorbed
,
and
in
Pianosa
,
for
a
while
,
he
finally
was
.
Rank
meant
little
to
the
men
on
combat
duty
,
and
relations
between
officers
and
enlisted
men
were
relaxed
and
informal
.
Men
whose
names
he
didn
’
t
even
know
said
"
Hi
"
and
invited
him
to
go
swimming
or
play
basketball
.
His
ripest
hours
were
spent
in
the
day
-
long
basketball
games
no
one
gave
a
damn
about
winning
.
Score
was
never
kept
,
and
the
number
of
players
might
vary
from
one
to
thirty
-
five
.
Major
Major
had
never
played
basketball
or
any
other
game
before
,
but
his
great
,
bobbing
height
and
rapturous
enthusiasm
helped
make
up
for
his
innate
clumsiness
and
lack
of
experience
.
Major
Major
found
true
happiness
there
on
the
lopsided
basketball
court
with
the
officers
and
enlisted
men
who
were
almost
his
friends
.
If
there
were
no
winners
,
there
were
no
losers
,
and
Major
Major
enjoyed
every
gamboling
moment
right
up
till
the
day
Colonel
Cathcart
roared
up
in
his
jeep
after
Major
Duluth
was
killed
and
made
it
impossible
for
him
ever
to
enjoy
playing
basketball
there
again
.
"
You
’
re
the
new
squadron
commander
,
"
Colonel
Cathcart
had
shouted
rudely
across
the
railroad
ditch
to
him
.
"
But
don
’
t
think
it
means
anything
,
because
it
doesn
’
t
.
All
it
means
is
that
you
’
re
the
new
squadron
commander
.
"
Colonel
Cathcart
had
nursed
an
implacable
grudge
against
Major
Major
for
a
long
time
.
A
superfluous
major
on
his
rolls
meant
an
untidy
table
of
organization
and
gave
ammunition
to
the
men
at
Twenty
-
seventh
Air
Force
Headquarters
who
Colonel
Cathcart
was
positive
were
his
enemies
and
rivals
.
Colonel
Cathcart
had
been
praying
for
just
some
stroke
of
good
luck
like
Major
Duluth
’
s
death
.
He
had
been
plagued
by
one
extra
major
;
he
now
had
an
opening
for
one
major
.
He
appointed
Major
Major
squadron
commander
and
roared
away
in
his
jeep
as
abruptly
as
he
had
come
.