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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 415/452
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"
Well
,
which
one
am
I
supposed
to
please
?
"
"
Both
.
"
"
How
can
I
please
them
both
?
They
hate
each
other
.
How
am
I
ever
going
to
get
a
feather
in
my
cap
from
General
Scheisskopf
without
getting
a
black
eye
from
General
Peckem
?
"
"
March
.
"
"
Yeah
,
march
.
That
’
s
the
only
way
to
please
him
.
March
.
March
.
"
Colonel
Cathcart
grimaced
sullenly
.
"
Some
generals
!
They
’
re
a
disgrace
to
their
uniforms
.
If
people
like
those
two
can
make
general
,
I
don
’
t
see
how
I
can
miss
.
"
"
You
’
re
going
to
go
far
.
"
Colonel
Korn
assured
him
with
a
flat
lack
of
conviction
,
and
turned
back
chuckling
to
Yossarian
,
his
disdainful
merriment
increasing
at
the
sight
of
Yossarian
’
s
unyielding
expression
of
antagonism
and
distrust
.
"
And
there
you
have
the
crux
of
the
situation
.
Colonel
Cathcart
wants
to
be
a
general
and
I
want
to
be
a
colonel
,
and
that
’
s
why
we
have
to
send
you
home
.
"
"
Why
does
he
want
to
be
a
general
?
"
"
Why
?
For
the
same
reason
that
I
want
to
be
a
colonel
.
What
else
have
we
got
to
do
?
Everyone
teaches
us
to
aspire
to
higher
things
.
A
general
is
higher
than
a
colonel
,
and
a
colonel
is
higher
than
a
lieutenant
colonel
.
So
we
’
re
both
aspiring
.
And
you
know
,
Yossarian
,
it
’
s
a
lucky
thing
for
you
that
we
are
.
Your
timing
on
this
is
absolutely
perfect
,
but
I
suppose
you
took
that
factor
into
account
in
your
calculations
.
"
"
I
haven
’
t
been
doing
any
calculating
,
"
Yossarian
retorted
.
