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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 414/452
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"
Then
stop
picking
on
me
,
will
you
?
Get
off
my
back
,
will
you
?
"
"
I
’
m
on
your
side
,
Colonel
.
I
’
m
just
loaded
with
patriotism
.
"
"
Well
,
just
make
sure
you
don
’
t
forget
that
.
"
Colonel
Cathcart
turned
away
grudgingly
after
another
moment
,
incompletely
reassured
,
and
began
striding
the
floor
,
his
hands
kneading
his
long
cigarette
holder
.
He
jerked
a
thumb
toward
Yossarian
.
"
Let
’
s
settle
with
him
.
I
know
what
I
’
d
like
to
do
with
him
.
I
’
d
like
to
take
him
outside
and
shoot
him
.
That
’
s
what
I
’
d
like
to
do
with
him
.
That
’
s
what
General
Dreedle
would
do
with
him
.
"
"
But
General
Dreedle
isn
’
t
with
us
any
more
,
"
said
Colonel
Korn
,
"
so
we
can
’
t
take
him
outside
and
shoot
him
.
"
Now
that
his
moment
of
tension
with
Colonel
Cathcart
had
passed
,
Colonel
Korn
relaxed
again
and
resumed
kicking
softly
against
Colonel
Cathcart
’
s
desk
.
He
returned
to
Yossarian
.
"
So
we
’
re
going
to
send
you
home
instead
.
It
took
a
bit
of
thinking
,
but
we
finally
worked
out
this
horrible
little
plan
for
sending
you
home
without
causing
too
much
dissatisfaction
among
the
friends
you
’
ll
leave
behind
.
Doesn
’
t
that
make
you
happy
?
"
"
What
kind
of
plan
?
I
’
m
not
sure
I
’
m
going
to
like
it
.
"
"
I
know
you
’
re
not
going
to
like
it
.
"
Colonel
Korn
laughed
,
locking
his
hands
contentedly
on
top
of
his
head
again
.
"
You
’
re
going
to
loathe
it
.
It
really
is
odious
and
certainly
will
offend
your
conscience
.
But
you
’
ll
agree
to
it
quickly
enough
.
You
’
ll
agree
to
it
because
it
will
send
you
home
safe
and
sound
in
two
weeks
,
and
because
you
have
no
choice
.
It
’
s
that
or
a
court
-
martial
.
Take
it
or
leave
it
.
"
Yossarian
snorted
.
"
Stop
bluffing
,
Colonel
.
You
can
’
t
court
-
martial
me
for
desertion
in
the
face
of
the
enemy
.
It
would
make
you
look
bad
and
you
probably
couldn
’
t
get
a
conviction
.
"
"
But
we
can
court
-
martial
you
now
for
desertion
from
duty
,
since
you
went
to
Rome
without
a
pass
.
And
we
could
make
it
stick
.
If
you
think
about
it
a
minute
,
you
’
ll
see
that
you
’
d
leave
us
no
alternative
.
We
can
’
t
simply
let
you
keep
walking
around
in
open
insubordination
without
punishing
you
.
All
the
other
men
would
stop
flying
missions
,
too
.
No
,
you
have
my
word
for
it
.
We
will
court
-
martial
you
if
you
turn
our
deal
down
,
even
though
it
would
raise
a
lot
of
questions
and
be
a
terrible
black
eye
for
Colonel
Cathcart
.
"
Colonel
Cathcart
winced
at
the
words
"
black
eye
"
and
,
without
any
apparent
premeditation
,
hurled
his
slender
onyx
-
and
-
ivory
cigarette
holder
down
viciously
on
the
wooden
surface
on
his
desk
.
"
Jesus
Christ
!
"
he
shouted
unexpectedly
.
"
I
hate
this
goddam
cigarette
holder
!
"
The
cigarette
holder
bounced
off
the
desk
to
the
wall
,
ricocheted
across
the
window
sill
to
the
floor
and
came
to
a
stop
almost
where
he
was
standing
.
Colonel
Cathcart
stared
down
at
it
with
an
irascible
scowl
.
"
I
wonder
if
it
’
s
really
doing
me
any
good
.
"
"
It
’
s
a
feather
in
your
cap
with
General
Peckem
,
but
a
black
eye
for
you
with
General
Scheisskopf
,
"
Colonel
Korn
informed
him
with
a
mischievous
look
of
innocence
.
