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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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"
What
virgin
?
"
Yossarian
asked
.
"
I
thought
you
were
telling
me
about
some
newlyweds
.
"
"
That
’
s
the
virgin
I
’
m
telling
you
about
.
They
were
just
a
couple
of
young
kids
,
and
they
’
d
been
married
,
oh
,
a
little
over
a
year
when
they
came
walking
into
my
office
without
an
appointment
.
You
should
have
seen
her
.
She
was
so
sweet
and
young
and
pretty
.
She
even
blushed
when
I
asked
about
her
periods
.
I
don
’
t
think
I
’
ll
ever
stop
loving
that
girl
.
She
was
built
like
a
dream
and
wore
a
chain
around
her
neck
with
a
medal
of
Saint
Anthony
hanging
down
inside
the
most
beautiful
bosom
I
never
saw
.
‘
It
must
be
a
terrible
temptation
for
Saint
Anthony
,
’
I
joked
—
just
to
put
her
at
ease
,
you
know
.
‘
Saint
Anthony
?
’
her
husband
said
.
‘
Who
’
s
Saint
Anthony
?
’
‘
Ask
your
wife
,
’
I
told
him
.
‘
She
can
tell
you
who
Saint
Anthony
is
.
’
‘
Who
is
Saint
Anthony
?
’
he
asked
her
.
‘
Who
?
’
she
wanted
to
know
.
‘
Saint
Anthony
,
’
he
told
her
.
‘
Saint
Anthony
?
’
she
said
.
‘
Who
’
s
Saint
Anthony
?
’
When
I
got
a
good
look
at
her
inside
my
examination
room
I
found
she
was
still
a
virgin
.
I
spoke
to
her
husband
alone
while
she
was
pulling
her
girdle
back
on
and
hooking
it
onto
her
stockings
.
‘
Every
night
,
’
he
boasted
.
A
real
wise
guy
,
you
know
.
‘
I
never
miss
a
night
,
’
he
boasted
.
He
meant
it
,
too
.
‘
I
even
been
puttin
’
it
to
her
mornings
before
the
breakfasts
she
makes
me
before
we
go
to
work
,
’
he
boasted
.
There
was
only
one
explanation
.
When
I
had
them
both
together
again
I
gave
them
a
demonstration
of
intercourse
with
the
rubber
models
I
’
ve
got
in
my
office
.
I
’
ve
got
these
rubber
models
in
my
office
with
all
the
reproductive
organs
of
both
sexes
that
I
keep
locked
up
in
separate
cabinets
to
avoid
a
scandal
.
I
mean
I
used
to
have
them
.
I
don
’
t
have
anything
any
more
,
not
even
a
practice
.
The
only
thing
I
have
now
is
this
low
temperature
that
I
’
m
really
starting
to
worry
about
.
Those
two
kids
I
’
ve
got
working
for
me
in
the
medical
tent
aren
’
t
worth
a
damn
as
diagnosticians
.
All
they
know
how
to
do
is
complain
.
They
think
they
’
ve
got
troubles
?
What
about
me
?
They
should
have
been
in
my
office
that
day
with
those
two
newlyweds
looking
at
me
as
though
I
were
telling
them
something
nobody
’
d
ever
heard
of
before
.
You
never
saw
anybody
so
interested
.
‘
You
mean
like
this
?
’
he
asked
me
,
and
worked
the
models
for
himself
awhile
.
You
know
,
I
can
see
where
a
certain
type
of
person
might
get
a
big
kick
out
of
doing
just
that
.
‘
That
’
s
it
,
’
I
told
him
.
‘
Now
,
you
go
home
and
try
it
my
way
for
a
few
months
and
see
what
happens
.
Okay
?
’
‘
Okay
,
’
they
said
,
and
paid
me
in
cash
without
any
argument
.
‘
Have
a
good
time
,
’
I
told
them
,
and
they
thanked
me
and
walked
out
together
.
He
had
his
arm
around
her
waist
as
though
he
couldn
’
t
wait
to
get
her
home
and
put
it
to
her
again
.
A
few
days
later
he
came
back
all
by
himself
and
told
my
nurse
he
had
to
see
me
right
away
.
As
soon
as
we
were
alone
,
he
punched
me
in
the
nose
.
"
"
He
did
what
?
"
"
He
called
me
a
wise
guy
and
punched
me
in
the
nose
.
‘
What
are
you
,
a
wise
guy
?
’
he
said
,
and
knocked
me
flat
on
my
ass
.
Pow
!
Just
like
that
.
I
’
m
not
kidding
.
"
"
I
know
you
’
re
not
kidding
,
"
Yossarian
said
.
"
But
why
did
he
do
it
?
"
"
How
should
I
know
why
he
did
it
?
"
Doc
Daneeka
retorted
with
annoyance
.
"
Maybe
it
had
something
to
do
with
Saint
Anthony
?
"
Doc
Daneeka
looked
at
Yossarian
blankly
.
"
Saint
Anthony
?
"
he
asked
with
astonishment
.
"
Who
’
s
Saint
Anthony
?
"
