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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 40/452
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"
There
’
s
nothing
wrong
with
your
liver
.
"
"
That
shows
how
much
you
don
’
t
know
,
"
Yossarian
bluffed
,
and
told
Doc
Daneeka
about
the
troublesome
pain
in
his
liver
that
had
troubled
Nurse
Duckett
and
Nurse
Cramer
and
all
the
doctors
in
the
hospital
because
it
wouldn
’
t
become
jaundice
and
wouldn
’
t
go
away
.
Doc
Daneeka
wasn
’
t
interested
.
"
You
think
you
’
ve
got
troubles
?
"
he
wanted
to
know
.
"
What
about
me
?
You
should
’
ve
been
in
my
office
the
day
those
newlyweds
walked
in
.
"
"
What
newlyweds
?
"
"
Those
newlyweds
that
walked
into
my
office
one
day
.
Didn
’
t
I
ever
tell
you
about
them
?
She
was
lovely
.
"
So
was
Doc
Daneeka
’
s
office
.
He
had
decorated
his
waiting
room
with
goldfish
and
one
of
the
finest
suites
of
cheap
furniture
.
Whatever
he
could
he
bought
on
credit
,
even
the
goldfish
.
For
the
rest
,
he
obtained
money
from
greedy
relatives
in
exchange
for
shares
of
the
profits
.
His
office
was
in
Staten
Island
in
a
two
-
family
firetrap
just
four
blocks
away
from
the
ferry
stop
and
only
one
block
south
of
a
supermarket
,
three
beauty
parlors
,
and
two
corrupt
druggists
.
It
was
a
corner
location
,
but
nothing
helped
.
Population
turnover
was
small
,
and
people
clung
through
habit
to
the
same
physicians
they
had
been
doing
business
with
for
years
.
Bills
piled
up
rapidly
,
and
he
was
soon
faced
with
the
loss
of
his
most
precious
medical
instruments
:
his
adding
machine
was
repossessed
,
and
then
his
typewriter
.
The
goldfish
died
.
Fortunately
,
just
when
things
were
blackest
,
the
war
broke
out
.
"
It
was
a
godsend
,
"
Doc
Daneeka
confessed
solemnly
.
"
Most
of
the
other
doctors
were
soon
in
the
service
,
and
things
picked
up
overnight
.
The
corner
location
really
started
paying
off
,
and
I
soon
found
myself
handling
more
patients
than
I
could
handle
competently
.
I
upped
my
kickback
fee
with
those
two
drugstores
.
The
beauty
parlors
were
good
for
two
,
three
abortions
a
week
.
Things
couldn
’
t
have
been
better
,
and
then
look
what
happened
.
They
had
to
send
a
guy
from
the
draft
board
around
to
look
me
over
.
I
was
Four
-
F
.
I
had
examined
myself
pretty
thoroughly
and
discovered
that
I
was
unfit
for
military
service
.
You
’
d
think
my
word
would
be
enough
,
wouldn
’
t
you
,
since
I
was
a
doctor
in
good
standing
with
my
county
medical
society
and
with
my
local
Better
Business
Bureau
.
But
no
,
it
wasn
’
t
,
and
they
sent
this
guy
around
just
to
make
sure
I
really
did
have
one
leg
amputated
at
the
hip
and
was
helplessly
bedridden
with
incurable
rheumatoid
arthritis
.
Yossarian
,
we
live
in
an
age
of
distrust
and
deteriorating
spiritual
values
.
It
’
s
a
terrible
thing
,
"
Doc
Daneeka
protested
in
a
voice
quavering
with
strong
emotion
.
"
It
’
s
a
terrible
thing
when
even
the
word
of
a
licensed
physician
is
suspected
by
the
country
he
loves
.
"
Doc
Daneeka
had
been
drafted
and
shipped
to
Pianosa
as
a
flight
surgeon
,
even
though
he
was
terrified
of
flying
.
"
I
don
’
t
have
to
go
looking
for
trouble
in
an
airplane
,
"
he
noted
,
blinking
his
beady
,
brown
,
offended
eyes
myopically
.
"
It
comes
looking
for
me
.
Like
that
virgin
I
’
m
telling
you
about
that
couldn
’
t
have
a
baby
.
"
