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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 305/452
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"
The
next
thing
he
found
was
this
little
blue
oar
about
the
size
of
a
Dixie
-
cup
spoon
,
and
,
sure
enough
,
he
began
rowing
with
it
,
trying
to
move
all
nine
hundred
pounds
of
us
with
that
little
stick
.
Can
you
imagine
?
After
that
he
found
a
small
magnetic
compass
and
a
big
waterproof
map
,
and
he
spread
the
map
open
on
his
knees
and
set
the
compass
on
top
of
it
.
And
that
’
s
how
he
spent
the
time
until
the
launch
picked
us
up
about
thirty
minutes
later
,
sitting
there
with
that
baited
fishing
line
out
behind
him
,
with
the
compass
in
his
lap
and
the
map
spread
out
on
his
knees
,
and
paddling
away
as
hard
as
he
could
with
that
dinky
blue
oar
as
though
he
was
speeding
to
Majorca
.
Jesus
!
"
Sergeant
Knight
knew
all
about
Majorca
,
and
so
did
Orr
,
because
Yossarian
had
told
them
often
of
such
sanctuaries
as
Spain
,
Switzerland
and
Sweden
where
American
fliers
could
be
interned
for
the
duration
of
the
war
under
conditions
of
utmost
ease
and
luxury
merely
by
flying
there
.
Yossarian
was
the
squadron
’
s
leading
authority
on
internment
and
had
already
begun
plotting
an
emergency
heading
into
Switzerland
on
every
mission
he
flew
into
northernmost
Italy
.
He
would
certainly
have
preferred
Sweden
,
where
the
level
of
intelligence
was
high
and
where
he
could
swim
nude
with
beautiful
girls
with
low
,
demurring
voices
and
sire
whole
happy
,
undisciplined
tribes
of
illegitimate
Yossarians
that
the
state
would
assist
through
parturition
and
launch
into
life
without
stigma
;
but
Sweden
was
out
of
reach
,
too
far
away
,
and
Yossarian
waited
for
the
piece
of
flak
that
would
knock
out
one
engine
over
the
Italian
Alps
and
provide
him
with
the
excuse
for
heading
for
Switzerland
.
He
would
not
even
tell
his
pilot
he
was
guiding
him
there
.
Yossarian
often
thought
of
scheming
with
some
pilot
he
trusted
to
fake
a
crippled
engine
and
then
destroy
the
evidence
of
deception
with
a
belly
landing
,
but
the
only
pilot
he
really
trusted
was
McWatt
,
who
was
happiest
where
he
was
and
still
got
a
big
boot
out
of
buzzing
his
plane
over
Yossarian
’
s
tent
or
roaring
in
so
low
over
the
bathers
at
the
beach
that
the
fierce
wind
from
his
propellers
slashed
dark
furrows
in
the
water
and
whipped
sheets
of
spray
flapping
back
for
seconds
afterward
.
Dobbs
and
Hungry
Joe
were
out
of
the
question
,
and
so
was
Orr
,
who
was
tinkering
with
the
valve
of
the
stove
again
when
Yossarian
limped
despondently
back
into
the
tent
after
Dobbs
had
turned
him
down
.
The
stove
Orr
was
manufacturing
out
of
an
inverted
metal
drum
stood
in
the
middle
of
the
smooth
cement
floor
he
had
constructed
.
He
was
working
sedulously
on
both
knees
.
Yossarian
tried
paying
no
attention
to
him
and
limped
wearily
to
his
cot
and
sat
down
with
a
labored
,
drawn
-
out
grunt
.
Prickles
of
perspiration
were
turning
chilly
on
his
forehead
.
Dobbs
had
depressed
him
.
Doc
Daneeka
depressed
him
.
An
ominous
vision
of
doom
depressed
him
when
he
looked
at
Orr
.
He
began
ticking
with
a
variety
of
internal
tremors
.
Nerves
twitched
,
and
the
vein
in
one
wrist
began
palpitating
.
Orr
studied
Yossarian
over
his
shoulder
,
his
moist
lips
drawn
back
around
convex
rows
of
large
buck
teeth
.
Reaching
sideways
,
he
dug
a
bottle
of
warm
beer
out
of
his
foot
locker
,
and
he
handed
it
to
Yossarian
after
prying
off
the
cap
.
Neither
said
a
word
.
Yossarian
sipped
the
bubbles
off
the
top
and
tilted
his
head
back
.
Orr
watched
him
cunningly
with
a
noiseless
grin
.
Yossarian
eyed
Orr
guardedly
.
Orr
snickered
with
a
slight
,
mucid
sibilance
and
turned
back
to
his
work
,
squatting
.
Yossarian
grew
tense
.
"
Don
’
t
start
,
"
he
begged
in
a
threatening
voice
,
both
hands
tightening
around
his
beer
bottle
.
"
Don
’
t
start
working
on
your
stove
.
"
Orr
cackled
quietly
.
"
I
’
m
almost
finished
.
"
"
No
,
you
’
re
not
.
You
’
re
about
to
begin
.
"
"
Here
’
s
the
valve
.
See
?
It
’
s
almost
all
together
.
"
"
And
you
’
re
about
to
take
it
apart
.
I
know
what
you
’
re
doing
,
you
bastard
.
I
’
ve
seen
you
do
it
three
hundred
times
.
"
Orr
shivered
with
glee
.
"
I
want
to
get
the
leak
in
this
gasoline
line
out
,
"
he
explained
.
"
I
’
ve
got
it
down
now
to
where
it
’
s
only
an
ooze
.
"
"
I
can
’
t
watch
you
,
"
Yossarian
confessed
tonelessly
.
"
If
you
want
to
work
with
something
big
,
that
’
s
okay
.
But
that
valve
is
filled
with
tiny
parts
,
and
I
just
haven
’
t
got
the
patience
right
now
to
watch
you
working
so
hard
over
things
that
are
so
goddam
small
and
unimportant
.
"
