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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 207/452
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The
colonel
stopped
in
his
tracks
again
and
eyed
the
chaplain
sharply
to
make
certain
he
was
not
being
ridiculed
.
"
Just
what
do
you
mean
by
that
remark
,
Chaplain
?
Are
you
trying
to
be
funny
?
"
"
Oh
,
no
,
sir
,
"
the
chaplain
hastened
to
explain
with
a
look
of
excruciating
discomfort
.
"
She
’
s
a
master
sergeant
in
the
Marines
.
"
The
colonel
had
never
liked
the
chaplain
and
now
he
loathed
and
distrusted
him
.
He
experienced
a
keen
premonition
of
danger
and
wondered
if
the
chaplain
too
were
plotting
against
him
,
if
the
chaplain
’
s
reticent
,
unimpressive
manner
were
really
just
a
sinister
disguise
masking
a
fiery
ambition
that
,
way
down
deep
,
was
crafty
and
unscrupulous
.
There
was
something
funny
about
the
chaplain
,
and
the
colonel
soon
detected
what
it
was
.
The
chaplain
was
standing
stiffly
at
attention
,
for
the
colonel
had
forgotten
to
put
him
at
ease
.
Let
him
stay
that
way
,
the
colonel
decided
vindictively
,
just
to
show
him
who
was
boss
and
to
safeguard
himself
against
any
loss
of
dignity
that
might
devolve
from
his
acknowledging
the
omission
.
Colonel
Cathcart
was
drawn
hypnotically
toward
the
window
with
a
massive
,
dull
stare
of
moody
introspection
.
The
enlisted
men
were
always
treacherous
,
he
decided
.
He
looked
downward
in
mournful
gloom
at
the
skeet
-
shooting
range
he
had
ordered
built
for
the
officers
on
his
headquarters
staff
,
and
he
recalled
the
mortifying
afternoon
General
Dreedle
had
tongue
-
lashed
him
ruthlessly
in
front
of
Colonel
Korn
and
Major
Danby
and
ordered
him
to
throw
open
the
range
to
all
the
enlisted
men
and
officers
on
combat
duty
.
The
skeet
-
shooting
range
had
been
a
real
black
eye
for
him
,
Colonel
Cathcart
was
forced
to
conclude
.
He
was
positive
that
General
Dreedle
had
never
forgotten
it
,
even
though
he
was
positive
that
General
Dreedle
didn
’
t
even
remember
it
,
which
was
really
very
unjust
,
Colonel
Cathcart
lamented
,
since
the
idea
of
a
skeet
-
shooting
range
itself
should
have
been
a
real
feather
in
his
cap
,
even
though
it
had
been
such
a
real
black
eye
.
Colonel
Cathcart
was
helpless
to
assess
exactly
how
much
ground
he
had
gained
or
lost
with
his
goddam
skeet
-
shooting
range
and
wished
that
Colonel
Korn
were
in
his
office
right
then
to
evaluate
the
entire
episode
for
him
still
one
more
time
and
assuage
his
fears
.
It
was
all
very
perplexing
,
all
very
discouraging
.
Colonel
Cathcart
took
the
cigarette
holder
out
of
his
mouth
,
stood
it
on
end
inside
the
pocket
of
his
shirt
,
and
began
gnawing
on
the
fingernails
of
both
hands
grievously
.
Everybody
was
against
him
,
and
he
was
sick
to
his
soul
that
Colonel
Korn
was
not
with
him
in
this
moment
of
crisis
to
help
him
decide
what
to
do
about
the
prayer
meetings
.
He
had
almost
no
faith
at
all
in
the
chaplain
,
who
was
still
only
a
captain
.
"
Do
you
think
,
"
he
asked
,
"
that
keeping
the
enlisted
men
out
might
interfere
with
our
chances
of
getting
results
?
"
The
chaplain
hesitated
,
feeling
himself
on
unfamiliar
ground
again
.
"
Yes
,
sir
,
"
he
replied
finally
.
"
I
think
it
’
s
conceivable
that
such
an
action
could
interfere
with
your
chances
of
having
the
prayers
for
a
tighter
bomb
pattern
answered
.
"
"
I
wasn
’
t
even
thinking
about
that
!
"
cried
the
colonel
,
with
his
eyes
blinking
and
splashing
like
puddles
.
"
You
mean
that
God
might
even
decide
to
punish
me
by
giving
us
a
looser
bomb
pattern
?
"
"
Yes
,
sir
,
"
said
the
chaplain
.
"
It
’
s
conceivable
He
might
.
"
"
The
hell
with
it
,
then
,
"
the
colonel
asserted
in
a
huff
of
independence
.
"
I
’
m
not
going
to
set
these
damned
prayer
meetings
up
just
to
make
things
worse
than
they
are
.
"
With
a
scornful
snicker
,
he
settled
himself
behind
his
desk
,
replaced
the
empty
cigarette
holder
in
his
mouth
and
lapsed
into
parturient
silence
for
a
few
moments
.
"
Now
I
think
about
it
,
"
he
confessed
,
as
much
to
himself
as
to
the
chaplain
,
"
having
the
men
pray
to
God
probably
wasn
’
t
such
a
hot
idea
anyway
.
The
editors
of
The
Saturday
Evening
Post
might
not
have
co
-
operated
.
"
The
colonel
abandoned
his
project
with
remorse
,
for
he
had
conceived
it
entirely
on
his
own
and
had
hoped
to
unveil
it
as
a
striking
demonstration
to
everyone
that
he
had
no
real
need
for
Colonel
Korn
.
Once
it
was
gone
,
he
was
glad
to
be
rid
of
it
,
for
he
had
been
troubled
from
the
start
by
the
danger
of
instituting
the
plan
without
first
checking
it
out
with
Colonel
Korn
.
He
heaved
an
immense
sigh
of
contentment
.
He
had
a
much
higher
opinion
of
himself
now
that
his
idea
was
abandoned
,
for
he
had
made
a
very
wise
decision
,
he
felt
,
and
,
most
important
,
he
had
made
this
wise
decision
without
consulting
Colonel
Korn
.
