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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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But
come
to
us
with
a
liver
complaint
and
you
can
fool
us
for
weeks
.
The
liver
,
you
see
,
is
a
large
,
ugly
mystery
to
us
.
If
you
’
ve
ever
eaten
liver
you
know
what
I
mean
.
We
’
re
pretty
sure
today
that
the
liver
exists
and
we
have
a
fairly
good
idea
of
what
it
does
whenever
it
’
s
doing
what
it
’
s
supposed
to
be
doing
.
Beyond
that
,
we
’
re
really
in
the
dark
.
After
all
,
what
is
a
liver
?
My
father
,
for
example
,
died
of
cancer
of
the
liver
and
was
never
sick
a
day
of
his
life
right
up
till
the
moment
it
killed
him
.
Never
felt
a
twinge
of
pain
.
In
a
way
,
that
was
too
bad
,
since
I
hated
my
father
.
Lust
for
my
mother
,
you
know
.
"
"
What
’
s
an
English
medical
officer
doing
on
duty
here
?
"
Yossarian
wanted
to
know
.
The
officer
laughed
.
"
I
’
ll
tell
you
all
about
that
when
I
see
you
tomorrow
morning
.
And
throw
that
silly
ice
bag
away
before
you
die
of
pneumonia
.
"
Yossarian
never
saw
him
again
.
That
was
one
of
the
nice
things
about
all
the
doctors
at
the
hospital
;
he
never
saw
any
of
them
a
second
time
.
They
came
and
went
and
simply
disappeared
.
In
place
of
the
English
intern
the
next
day
,
there
arrived
a
group
of
doctors
he
had
never
seen
before
to
ask
him
about
his
appendix
.
"
There
’
s
nothing
wrong
with
my
appendix
,
"
Yossarian
informed
them
.
"
The
doctor
yesterday
said
it
was
my
liver
.
"
"
Maybe
it
is
his
liver
,
"
replied
the
white
-
haired
officer
in
charge
.
"
What
does
his
blood
count
show
?
"
"
He
hasn
’
t
had
a
blood
count
.
"
"
Have
one
taken
right
away
.
We
can
’
t
afford
to
take
chances
with
a
patient
in
his
condition
.
We
’
ve
got
to
keep
ourselves
covered
in
case
he
dies
.
"
He
made
a
notation
on
his
clipboard
and
spoke
to
Yossarian
.
"
In
the
meantime
,
keep
that
ice
bag
on
.
It
’
s
very
important
.
"
"
I
don
’
t
have
an
ice
bag
on
.
"
"
Well
,
get
one
.
There
must
be
an
ice
bag
around
here
somewhere
.
And
let
someone
know
if
the
pain
becomes
unendurable
.
"
At
the
end
of
ten
days
,
a
new
group
of
doctors
came
to
Yossarian
with
bad
news
;
he
was
in
perfect
health
and
had
to
get
out
.
He
was
rescued
in
the
nick
of
time
by
a
patient
across
the
aisle
who
began
to
see
everything
twice
.
Without
warning
,
the
patient
sat
up
in
bed
and
shouted
.
