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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 183/452
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"
Do
you
really
believe
that
?
"
Clevinger
laughed
.
"
No
,
of
course
not
.
I
just
like
to
kid
you
along
a
little
.
"
There
were
too
many
dangers
for
Yossarian
to
keep
track
of
.
There
was
Hitler
,
Mussolini
and
Tojo
,
for
example
,
and
they
were
all
out
to
kill
him
.
There
was
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
with
his
fanaticism
for
parades
and
there
was
the
bloated
colonel
with
his
big
fat
mustache
and
his
fanaticism
for
retribution
,
and
they
wanted
to
kill
him
,
too
.
There
was
Appleby
,
Havermeyer
,
Black
and
Korn
.
There
was
Nurse
Cramer
and
Nurse
Duckett
,
who
he
was
almost
certain
wanted
him
dead
,
and
there
was
the
Texan
and
the
C
.
I
.
D
.
man
,
about
whom
he
had
no
doubt
.
There
were
bartenders
,
bricklayers
and
bus
conductors
all
over
the
world
who
wanted
him
dead
,
landlords
and
tenants
,
traitors
and
patriots
,
lynchers
,
leeches
and
lackeys
,
and
they
were
all
out
to
bump
him
off
.
That
was
the
secret
Snowden
had
spilled
to
him
on
the
mission
to
Avignon
—
they
were
out
to
get
him
;
and
Snowden
had
spilled
it
all
over
the
back
of
the
plane
.
There
were
lymph
glands
that
might
do
him
in
.
There
were
kidneys
,
nerve
sheaths
and
corpuscles
.
There
were
tumors
of
the
brain
.
There
was
Hodgkin
’
s
disease
,
leukemia
,
amyotrophic
lateral
sclerosis
.
There
were
fertile
red
meadows
of
epithelial
tissue
to
catch
and
coddle
a
cancer
cell
.
There
were
diseases
of
the
skin
,
diseases
of
the
bone
,
diseases
of
the
lung
,
diseases
of
the
stomach
,
diseases
of
the
heart
,
blood
and
arteries
.
There
were
diseases
of
the
head
,
diseases
of
the
neck
,
diseases
of
the
chest
,
diseases
of
the
intestines
,
diseases
of
the
crotch
.
There
even
were
diseases
of
the
feet
.
There
were
billions
of
conscientious
body
cells
oxidating
away
day
and
night
like
dumb
animals
at
their
complicated
job
of
keeping
him
alive
and
healthy
,
and
every
one
was
a
potential
traitor
and
foe
.
There
were
so
many
diseases
that
it
took
a
truly
diseased
mind
to
even
think
about
them
as
often
as
he
and
Hungry
Joe
did
.
Hungry
Joe
collected
lists
of
fatal
diseases
and
arranged
them
in
alphabetical
order
so
that
he
could
put
his
finger
without
delay
on
any
one
he
wanted
to
worry
about
.
He
grew
very
upset
whenever
he
misplaced
some
or
when
he
could
not
add
to
his
list
,
and
he
would
go
rushing
in
a
cold
sweat
to
Doc
Daneeka
for
help
.
"
Give
him
Ewing
’
s
tumor
,
"
Yossarian
advised
Doc
Daneeka
,
who
would
come
to
Yossarian
for
help
in
handling
Hungry
Joe
,
"
and
follow
it
up
with
melanoma
.
Hungry
Joe
likes
lingering
diseases
,
but
he
likes
the
fulminating
ones
even
more
.
"
Doc
Daneeka
had
never
heard
of
either
.
"
How
do
you
manage
to
keep
up
on
so
many
diseases
like
that
?
"
he
inquired
with
high
professional
esteem
.
"
I
learn
about
them
at
the
hospital
when
I
study
the
Reader
’
s
Digest
.
"
Yossarian
had
so
many
ailments
to
be
afraid
of
that
he
was
sometimes
tempted
to
turn
himself
in
to
the
hospital
for
good
and
spend
the
rest
of
his
life
stretched
out
there
inside
an
oxygen
tent
with
a
battery
of
specialists
and
nurses
seated
at
one
side
of
his
bed
twenty
-
four
hours
a
day
waiting
for
something
to
go
wrong
and
at
least
one
surgeon
with
a
knife
poised
at
the
other
,
ready
to
jump
forward
and
begin
cutting
away
the
moment
it
became
necessary
.
Aneurisms
,
for
instance
;
how
else
could
they
ever
defend
him
in
time
against
an
aneurism
of
the
aorta
?
Yossarian
felt
much
safer
inside
the
hospital
than
outside
the
hospital
,
even
though
he
loathed
the
surgeon
and
his
knife
as
much
as
he
had
ever
loathed
anyone
.
He
could
start
screaming
inside
a
hospital
and
people
would
at
least
come
running
to
try
to
help
;
outside
the
hospital
they
would
throw
him
in
prison
if
he
ever
started
screaming
about
all
the
things
he
felt
everyone
ought
to
start
screaming
about
,
or
they
would
put
him
in
the
hospital
.
One
of
the
things
he
wanted
to
start
screaming
about
was
the
surgeon
’
s
knife
that
was
almost
certain
to
be
waiting
for
him
and
everyone
else
who
lived
long
enough
to
die
.
He
wondered
often
how
he
would
ever
recognize
the
first
chill
,
flush
,
twinge
,
ache
,
belch
,
sneeze
,
stain
,
lethargy
,
vocal
slip
,
loss
of
balance
or
lapse
of
memory
that
would
signal
the
inevitable
beginning
of
the
inevitable
end
.
He
was
afraid
also
that
Doc
Daneeka
would
still
refuse
to
help
him
when
he
went
to
him
again
after
jumping
out
of
Major
Major
’
s
office
,
and
he
was
right
.
"
You
think
you
’
ve
got
something
to
be
afraid
about
?
"
Doc
Daneeka
demanded
,
lifting
his
delicate
immaculate
dark
head
up
from
his
chest
to
gaze
at
Yossarian
irascibly
for
a
moment
with
lachrymose
eyes
.
"
What
about
me
?
My
precious
medical
skills
are
rusting
away
here
on
this
lousy
island
while
other
doctors
are
cleaning
up
.
Do
you
think
I
enjoy
sitting
here
day
after
day
refusing
to
help
you
?
I
wouldn
’
t
mind
it
so
much
if
I
could
refuse
to
help
you
back
in
the
States
or
in
some
place
like
Rome
.
But
saying
no
to
you
here
isn
’
t
easy
for
me
,
either
.
"
"
Then
stop
saying
no
.
Ground
me
.
"
