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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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"
I
wonder
what
he
did
to
deserve
it
,
"
the
warrant
officer
with
malaria
and
a
mosquito
bite
on
his
ass
lamented
after
Nurse
Cramer
had
read
her
thermometer
and
discovered
that
the
soldier
in
white
was
dead
.
"
He
went
to
war
,
"
the
fighter
pilot
with
the
golden
mustache
surmised
.
"
We
all
went
to
war
,
"
Dunbar
countered
.
"
That
’
s
what
I
mean
,
"
the
warrant
officer
with
malaria
continued
.
"
Why
him
?
There
just
doesn
’
t
seem
to
be
any
logic
to
this
system
of
rewards
and
punishment
.
Look
what
happened
to
me
.
If
I
had
gotten
syphilis
or
a
dose
of
clap
for
my
five
minutes
of
passion
on
the
beach
instead
of
this
damned
mosquito
bite
,
I
could
see
justice
.
But
malaria
?
Malaria
?
Who
can
explain
malaria
as
a
consequence
of
fornication
?
"
The
warrant
officer
shook
his
head
in
numb
astonishment
.
"
What
about
me
?
"
Yossarian
said
.
"
I
stepped
out
of
my
tent
in
Marrakech
one
night
to
get
a
bar
of
candy
and
caught
your
dose
of
clap
when
that
Wac
I
never
even
saw
before
kissed
me
into
the
bushes
.
All
I
really
wanted
was
a
bar
of
candy
,
but
who
could
turn
it
down
?
"
"
That
sounds
like
my
dose
of
clap
,
all
right
,
"
the
warrant
officer
agreed
.
"
But
I
’
ve
still
got
somebody
else
’
s
malaria
.
Just
for
once
I
’
d
like
to
see
all
these
things
sort
of
straightened
out
,
with
each
person
getting
exactly
what
he
deserves
.
It
might
give
me
some
confidence
in
this
universe
.
"
"
I
’
ve
got
somebody
else
’
s
three
hundred
thousand
dollars
,
"
the
dashing
young
fighter
captain
with
the
golden
mustache
admitted
.
"
I
’
ve
been
goofing
off
since
the
day
I
was
born
.
I
cheated
my
way
through
prep
school
and
college
,
and
just
about
all
I
’
ve
been
doing
ever
since
is
shacking
up
with
pretty
girls
who
think
I
’
d
make
a
good
husband
.
I
’
ve
got
no
ambition
at
all
.
The
only
thing
I
want
to
do
after
the
war
is
marry
some
girl
who
’
s
got
more
money
than
I
have
and
shack
up
with
lots
more
pretty
girls
.
The
three
hundred
thousand
bucks
was
left
to
me
before
I
was
born
by
a
grandfather
who
made
a
fortune
selling
on
an
international
scale
.
I
know
I
don
’
t
deserve
it
,
but
I
’
ll
be
damned
if
I
give
it
back
.
I
wonder
who
it
really
belongs
to
.
"
"
Maybe
it
belongs
to
my
father
,
"
Dunbar
conjectured
.
"
He
spent
a
lifetime
at
hard
work
and
never
could
make
enough
money
to
even
send
my
sister
and
me
through
college
.
He
’
s
dead
now
,
so
you
might
as
well
keep
it
.
"
