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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 144/452
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"
Or
‘
Shoot
me
a
beet
,
Pete
.
’
"
"
Keep
away
,
keep
away
,
"
Hungry
Joe
screamed
.
"
I
said
keep
away
,
keep
away
,
you
goddam
stinking
lousy
son
of
a
bitch
.
"
"
At
least
we
found
out
what
he
dreams
about
,
"
Dunbar
observed
wryly
.
"
He
dreams
about
goddam
stinking
lousy
sons
of
bitches
.
"
Late
that
night
Hungry
Joe
dreamed
that
Huple
’
s
cat
was
sleeping
on
his
face
,
suffocating
him
,
and
when
he
woke
up
,
Huple
’
s
cat
was
sleeping
on
his
face
.
His
agony
was
terrifying
,
the
piercing
,
unearthly
howl
with
which
he
split
the
moonlit
dark
vibrating
in
its
own
impact
for
seconds
afterward
like
a
devastating
shock
.
A
numbing
silence
followed
,
and
then
a
riotous
din
rose
from
inside
his
tent
.
Yossarian
was
among
the
first
ones
there
.
When
he
burst
through
the
entrance
,
Hungry
Joe
had
his
gun
out
and
was
struggling
to
wrench
his
arm
free
from
Huple
to
shoot
the
cat
,
who
kept
spitting
and
feinting
at
him
ferociously
to
distract
him
from
shooting
Huple
.
Both
humans
were
in
their
GI
underwear
.
The
unfrosted
light
bulb
overhead
was
swinging
crazily
on
its
loose
wire
,
and
the
jumbled
black
shadows
kept
swirling
and
bobbing
chaotically
,
so
that
the
entire
tent
seemed
to
be
reeling
.
Yossarian
reached
out
instinctively
for
balance
and
then
launched
himself
forward
in
a
prodigious
dive
that
crushed
the
three
combatants
to
the
ground
beneath
him
.
He
emerged
from
the
melee
with
the
scruff
of
a
neck
in
each
hand
—
Hungry
Joe
’
s
neck
and
the
cat
’
s
.
Hungry
Joe
and
the
cat
glared
at
each
other
savagely
.
The
cat
spat
viciously
at
Hungry
Joe
,
and
Hungry
Joe
tried
to
hit
it
with
a
haymaker
.
"
A
fair
fight
,
"
Yossarian
decreed
,
and
all
the
others
who
had
come
running
to
the
uproar
in
horror
began
cheering
ecstatically
in
a
tremendous
overflow
of
relief
.
"
We
’
ll
have
a
fair
fight
,
"
he
explained
officially
to
Hungry
Joe
and
the
cat
after
he
had
carried
them
both
outside
,
still
holding
them
apart
by
the
scruffs
of
their
necks
.
"
Fists
,
fangs
and
claws
.
But
no
guns
,
"
he
warned
Hungry
Joe
.
"
And
no
spitting
,
"
he
warned
the
cat
sternly
.
"
When
I
turn
you
both
loose
,
go
.
Break
clean
in
the
clinches
and
come
back
fighting
.
Go
!
"
There
was
a
huge
,
giddy
crowd
of
men
who
were
avid
for
any
diversion
,
but
the
cat
turned
chicken
the
moment
Yossarian
released
him
and
fled
from
Hungry
Joe
ignominiously
like
a
yellow
dog
.
Hungry
Joe
was
declared
the
winner
.
He
swaggered
away
happily
with
the
proud
smile
of
a
champion
,
his
shriveled
head
high
and
his
emaciated
chest
out
He
went
back
to
bed
victorious
and
dreamed
again
that
Huple
’
s
cat
was
sleeping
on
his
face
,
suffocating
him
.
Moving
the
bomb
line
did
not
fool
the
Germans
,
but
it
did
fool
Major
—
—
de
Coverley
,
who
packed
his
musette
bag
,
commandeered
an
airplane
and
,
under
the
impression
that
Florence
too
had
been
captured
by
the
allies
,
had
himself
flown
to
that
city
to
rent
two
apartments
for
the
officers
and
the
enlisted
men
in
the
squadron
to
use
on
rest
leaves
.
He
had
still
not
returned
by
the
time
Yossarian
jumped
back
outside
Major
Major
’
s
office
and
wondered
whom
to
appeal
to
next
for
help
.
