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"
But
I
’
m
not
an
animal
—
or
a
fish
.
"
"
No
,
you
’
re
not
.
And
perhaps
that
’
s
why
you
find
it
foreign
.
But
it
’
s
there
.
It
’
s
all
there
.
"
He
’
s
a
good
old
man
,
Doc
Peele
,
a
tired
old
man
.
He
’
s
birthed
and
buried
us
for
fifty
years
.
Back
to
that
Congress
in
the
Dark
—
it
must
have
been
working
overtime
.
Sometimes
a
man
seems
to
reverse
himself
so
that
you
would
say
,
"
He
can
’
t
do
that
.
It
’
s
out
of
character
.
"
Maybe
it
’
s
not
.
It
could
be
just
another
angle
,
or
it
might
be
that
the
pressures
above
or
below
have
changed
his
shape
.
You
see
it
in
war
a
lot
—
a
coward
turning
hero
and
a
brave
man
crashing
in
flames
.
Or
you
read
in
the
morning
paper
about
a
nice
,
kind
family
man
who
cuts
down
wife
and
children
with
an
ax
.
I
think
I
believe
that
a
man
is
changing
all
the
time
.
But
there
are
certain
moments
when
the
change
becomes
noticeable
.
If
I
wanted
to
dig
deep
enough
,
I
could
probably
trace
the
seeds
of
my
change
right
back
to
my
birth
or
before
.
Recently
many
little
things
had
begun
to
form
a
pattern
of
larger
things
.
It
’
s
as
though
events
and
experiences
nudged
and
jostled
me
in
a
direction
contrary
to
my
normal
one
or
the
one
I
had
come
to
think
was
normal
—
the
direction
of
the
grocery
clerk
,
the
failure
,
the
man
without
real
hope
or
drive
,
barred
in
by
responsibilities
for
filling
the
bellies
and
clothing
the
bodies
of
his
family
,
caged
by
habits
and
attitudes
I
thought
of
as
being
moral
,
even
virtuous
.
And
it
may
be
that
I
had
a
smugness
about
being
what
I
called
a
"
Good
Man
.
"
And
surely
I
knew
what
was
going
on
around
me
.
Marullo
didn
’
t
have
to
tell
me
.
You
can
’
t
live
in
a
town
the
size
of
New
Baytown
and
not
know
.
I
didn
’
t
think
about
it
much
.
Judge
Dorcas
fixed
traffic
tickets
for
favors
.
It
wasn
’
t
even
secret
.
And
favors
call
for
favors
.
The
Town
Manager
,
who
was
also
Budd
Building
Supplies
,
sold
equipment
to
the
township
at
a
high
price
,
and
some
of
it
not
needed
.
If
a
new
paved
street
went
in
,
it
usually
turned
out
that
Mr
.
Baker
and
Marullo
and
half
a
dozen
other
business
leaders
had
bought
up
the
lots
before
the
plan
was
announced
.
These
were
just
facts
of
nature
,
but
I
had
always
believed
they
weren
’
t
facts
of
my
nature
.
Marullo
and
Mr
.
Baker
and
the
drummer
and
Margie
Young
-
Hunt
and
Joey
Morphy
in
a
concentration
had
been
nudging
me
and
altogether
it
amounted
to
a
push
,
so
that
"
I
’
ve
got
to
put
aside
a
little
time
to
think
it
out
.
"
My
darling
was
purring
in
her
sleep
,
with
the
archaic
smile
on
her
lips
,
and
she
had
the
extra
glow
of
comfort
and
solace
she
gets
after
love
,
a
calm
fulfilledness
.
I
should
have
been
sleepy
after
wandering
around
the
night
before
,
but
I
wasn
’
t
.
I
’
ve
noticed
that
I
am
rarely
sleepy
if
I
know
I
can
sleep
long
in
the
morning
.
The
red
dots
were
swimming
on
my
eyes
,
and
the
street
light
threw
the
shadows
of
naked
elm
branches
on
the
ceiling
,
where
they
made
slow
and
stately
cats
’
cradles
because
the
spring
wind
was
blowing
.
The
window
was
open
halfway
and
the
white
curtains
swelled
and
filled
like
sails
on
an
anchored
boat
.
Mary
must
have
white
curtains
and
often
washed
.
They
give
her
a
sense
of
decency
and
security
.
She
pretends
a
little
anger
when
I
tell
her
it
’
s
her
lace
-
curtain
Irish
soul
.
I
felt
good
and
fulfilled
too
,
but
whereas
Mary
dives
for
sleep
,
I
didn
’
t
want
to
go
to
sleep
.
I
wanted
to
go
on
fully
tasting
how
good
I
felt
.
