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- Джон Фоулз
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"
I
’
m
afraid
so
.
"
"
I
don
’
t
know
if
I
approve
of
all
this
wandering
off
abroad
.
My
advice
is
,
don
’
t
go
.
However
…
vous
l
’
avez
voulu
,
Georges
Danton
.
Vous
l
’
avez
voulu
.
"
The
misquotation
was
typical
.
It
poured
with
rain
the
day
I
left
But
I
was
filled
with
excitement
,
a
strange
exuberant
sense
of
taking
wing
.
I
didn
’
t
know
where
I
was
going
,
but
I
knew
what
I
needed
.
I
needed
a
new
land
,
a
new
race
,
a
new
language
;
and
,
although
I
couldn
’
t
have
put
it
into
words
then
,
I
needed
a
new
mystery
.
I
heard
that
the
British
Council
were
recruiting
staff
,
so
in
early
August
I
went
along
to
Davies
Street
and
was
interviewed
by
an
eager
lady
with
a
culture
-
ridden
mind
and
a
very
upperclass
voice
and
vocabulary
.
It
was
frightfully
important
,
she
told
me
,
as
if
in
confidence
,
that
"
we
"
were
represented
abroad
by
the
right
type
;
but
it
was
an
awful
bore
,
all
the
posts
had
to
be
advertised
and
the
candidates
chosen
by
interview
,
and
anyway
they
were
having
to
cut
down
on
overseas
personnel
—
actually
.
She
came
to
the
point
:
the
only
jobs
available
were
teaching
English
in
foreign
schools
—
or
did
that
sound
too
ghastly
?
I
said
it
did
.
In
the
last
week
of
August
,
half
as
a
joke
,
I
advertised
:
the
traditional
insertion
.
I
had
a
number
of
replies
to
my
curt
offer
to
go
anywhere
and
do
anything
.
Apart
from
the
pamphlets
reminding
me
that
I
was
God
’
s
,
there
were
three
charming
letters
from
cultured
and
alert
swindlers
.
And
there
was
one
that
mentioned
unusual
and
remunerative
work
in
Tangiers
—
could
I
speak
Italian
?
—
but
my
answer
went
unanswered
.
September
loomed
:
I
began
to
feel
desperate
.
I
saw
myself
cornered
,
driven
back
in
despair
to
the
dreaded
Educational
Supplement
and
those
endless
pale
gray
lists
of
endless
pale
gray
jobs
.
So
one
morning
I
returned
to
Davies
Street
.
I
asked
if
they
had
any
teaching
jobs
in
the
Mediterranean
area
,
and
the
woman
with
the
frightful
intensifiers
went
off
to
fetch
a
file
.
I
sat
under
a
puce
and
tomato
Matthew
Smith
in
the
waiting
room
and
began
to
see
myself
in
Madrid
,
in
Rome
,
or
Marseilles
,
or
Barcelona
…
even
Lisbon
.
