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I
turned
to
Lily
de
Seitas
.
She
said
,
as
she
moved
self
-
possessedly
towards
the
drawing
room
,
"
We
called
them
that
to
placate
my
mother
.
She
was
a
hungry
goddess
.
"
Her
manner
had
changed
with
her
clothes
;
and
a
vague
former
disparity
between
her
vocabulary
and
her
looks
was
accounted
for
.
It
was
suddenly
credible
that
she
was
fifty
;
and
incredible
that
I
had
thought
her
rather
unintelligent
.
I
followed
her
into
the
room
.
"
I
’
m
interrupting
your
lunch
.
"
She
gave
me
a
dry
backwards
look
.
"
I
’
ve
been
expecting
an
interruption
for
several
weeks
now
.
"
She
sat
in
an
armchair
and
gestured
for
me
to
sit
on
the
huge
sofa
in
the
center
of
the
room
,
but
I
shook
my
head
.
She
glanced
at
a
silver
tray
of
drinks
by
the
wall
;
I
shook
my
head
again
.
She
was
not
nervous
;
even
smiled
.
"
Well
?
"
"
We
start
from
the
fact
that
you
have
two
enterprising
daughters
.
Let
me
hear
you
re
-
invent
from
there
.
"
"
I
’
m
afraid
my
invention
’
s
at
an
end
.
I
can
only
fall
back
on
the
truth
now
.
"
But
she
was
still
smiling
as
she
said
it
;
smiling
at
my
not
smiling
.
"
Maurice
is
the
twins
’
godfather
.
"
"
You
do
know
who
I
am
?
"
It
was
her
calmness
;
I
could
not
believe
she
knew
what
they
had
done
at
Bourani
.
"
Yes
,
Mr
.
Urfe
.
I
know
exactly
who
you
are
.
"
Her
cool
eyes
warned
me
;
and
annoyed
me
.
"
And
what
happened
?
"
"
And
what
happened
.
"
She
looked
down
at
her
hands
,
then
back
at
me
.
"
My
husband
was
killed
in
1945
.
In
the
Far
East
.
He
never
saw
Benjie
.
"
She
saw
the
impatience
on
my
face
and
checked
it
.
"
He
was
also
the
first
English
master
at
the
Lord
Byron
School
.
"
"
Oh
no
he
wasn
’
t
.
I
’
ve
looked
up
all
the
old
prospectuses
.
"
"
Then
you
remember
the
name
Hughes
.
"
"
Yes
.
"
She
crossed
her
legs
.
She
sat
in
an
old
wingchair
covered
in
pale
gold
brocade
;
very
erectly
.
All
her
"
county
"
horsiness
had
disappeared
.
"
I
wish
you
’
d
sit
down
.
"
"
No
thank
you
.
"
She
accepted
my
bleakness
with
a
little
shrug
,
and
looked
me
in
the
eyes
;
a
shrewd
,
unabashed
and
even
haughty
stare
.
Then
she
began
to
speak
.
"
My
father
died
when
I
was
eighteen
.
Mainly
to
escape
from
home
I
made
a
disastrous
—
a
very
stupid
—
marriage
.
Then
in
1929
I
met
my
second
husband
.
My
first
husband
divorced
me
.
We
married
.
We
wanted
to
be
out
of
England
for
a
time
and
we
hadn
’
t
much
money
.
He
applied
for
a
teaching
post
in
Greece
.
He
was
a
classical
scholar
…
loved
Greece
,
We
met
Maurice
.
Lily
and
Rose
were
conceived
on
Phraxos
.
In
a
house
that
Maurice
lent
us
to
live
in
.
"
I
don
’
t
believe
a
word
.
But
go
on
.
"
"
I
funked
having
twins
in
Greece
and
we
had
to
come
back
to
England
.
"
She
took
a
cigarette
from
a
silver
box
on
the
tripod
table
beside
her
.
I
refused
her
offer
of
one
;
and
let
her
light
her
cigarette
herself
.
She
was
very
calm
;
in
her
own
house
;
mistress
.
"
My
mother
’
s
maiden
name
was
de
Seitas
.
"
She
appraised
me
;
her
daughter
’
s
look
.
"
You
can
confirm
that
at
Somerset
House
.
She
had
a
bachelor
brother
,
my
uncle
,
who
was
very
well
off
and
who
treated
me
—
especially
after
my
father
’
s
death
—
as
much
as
a
daughter
as
my
mother
would
allow
him
to
.
She
was
a
very
domineering
woman
.
"
"
You
’
re
saying
now
that
you
never
met
…
Maurice
before
1930
?
"
She
smiled
.
"
Of
course
not
.
But
I
supplied
him
with
all
the
details
of
that
part
of
his
story
to
you
.
"
"
And
a
sister
called
Rose
?
"
"
Go
to
Somerset
House
.
"
"
I
shall
.
"
She
contemplated
the
tip
of
her
cigarette
;
made
me
wait
a
moment
.
"
The
twins
arrived
.
A
year
later
my
uncle
died
.
We
found
he
had
left
me
nearly
all
his
money
on
condition
that
Bill
changed
his
name
by
deed
-
poll
to
de
Seitas
.
Not
even
de
Seitas
-
Hughes
.
My
mother
was
mainly
responsible
for
that
meanness
.
"
She
looked
at
the
group
of
miniatures
that
hung
beside
her
,
beside
the
mantelpiece
.
"
My
uncle
was
the
last
male
of
the
de
Seitas
family
.
My
husband
changed
his
name
to
mine
.
In
the
Japanese
style
.
You
can
confirm
that
as
well
.
"
She
added
,
"
That
is
all
.
"
"
It
’
s
very
far
from
all
.
My
God
.
"
"
May
I
,
as
I
know
so
much
about
you
,
call
you
Nicholas
?
"
"
No
.
"
She
looked
down
,
once
again
with
that
infuriating
small
smile
that
haunted
all
their
faces
—
her
daughters
’
,
Conchis
’
s
,
even
Anton
’
s
and
Maria
’
s
in
their
different
ways
,
as
if
they
had
all
been
trained
to
give
the
same
superior
,
enigmatic
smiles
;
as
perhaps
they
had
.
And
I
suspected
that
if
anyone
had
done
the
training
,
it
would
be
this
woman
.
"
You
mustn
’
t
think
that
you
are
the
first
young
man
who
has
stood
before
me
bitter
and
angry
with
Maurice
.
With
all
of
us
who
help
him
.
Though
you
are
the
first
to
reject
the
offer
of
friendship
I
made
just
now
.
"
"
I
have
some
ugly
questions
to
ask
.
"
"
Ask
.
"
"
Some
others
first
.
Why
are
you
known
in
the
village
as
an
opera
singer
?
"
She
paused
before
answering
,
as
if
warning
me
not
to
interrogate
too
roughly
.
I
sensed
formidable
powers
of
snubbing
.
"
I
’
ve
sung
once
or
twice
in
local
concerts
.
I
was
trained
.
"
"
’
The
harpsichord
is
the
plonkety
-
plonic
one
’
?
"
"
It
is
rather
,
isn
’
t
it
?
"
I
turned
my
back
on
her
;
on
her
gentleness
;
her
weaponed
ladyhood
.
"
My
dear
Mrs
.
de
Seitas
,
no
amount
of
charm
,
no
amount
of
intelligence
,
no
amount
of
playing
with
words
can
get
you
out
of
this
one
.
"
She
left
a
long
pause
.
"
It
is
you
who
make
our
situation
.
You
must
have
been
told
that
.
You
come
here
telling
me
lies
.
You
come
here
for
all
the
wrong
reasons
.
I
tell
you
lies
back
.
I
give
you
wrong
reasons
back
.
"
"
Are
your
daughters
here
?
"
"
No
.
"
I
turned
to
face
her
.
"
Alison
?
"
"
Alison
and
I
are
very
good
friends
.
"
"
Where
is
she
?
"
She
shook
her
head
;
no
answer
.
"
I
demand
to
know
where
she
is
.
"
"
In
my
house
no
one
ever
demands
.
"
Her
face
was
bland
,
but
as
intent
on
mine
as
a
chessplayer
’
s
on
the
game
.
"
Very
well
.
We
’
ll
see
what
the
police
think
about
that
.
"
"
I
can
tell
you
now
.
They
will
think
you
very
foolish
.
"
I
turned
away
again
,
to
try
to
get
her
to
say
more
.
But
she
sat
in
the
chair
and
I
felt
her
eyes
on
my
back
.
I
knew
she
was
sitting
there
,
in
her
corn
-
gold
chair
,
and
that
she
was
like
Demeter
,
Ceres
,
a
goddess
on
her
throne
;
not
simply
a
clever
woman
of
nearly
fifty
,
in
1953
,
in
a
room
with
a
tractor
droning
somewhere
nearby
in
the
fields
;
but
playing
a
role
so
deep
-
rooted
in
fidelity
to
concepts
I
did
not
understand
,
to
people
I
did
not
like
,
that
it
had
almost
ceased
to
be
a
role
.
She
stood
up
and
went
to
a
bureau
in
the
corner
and
came
back
with
some
photos
,
which
she
laid
out
on
a
table
behind
the
sofa
.
Then
she
went
back
to
her
chair
;
invited
me
to
look
at
them
.
There
was
one
of
her
sitting
on
the
swing
-
seat
in
front
of
the
loggia
.
At
the
other
end
sat
Conchis
;
between
them
was
Benjie
.
Another
photo
showed
Lily
and
Rose
.
Lily
was
smiling
into
the
camera
,
and
Rose
,
in
profile
,
as
if
passing
behind
her
,
was
laughing
.
Once
again
I
could
see
the
loggia
in
the
background
.
The
next
photo
was
an
old
one
.
I
recognized
Bourani
.
There
were
five
people
standing
on
the
steps
in
front
of
the
house
.
Conchis
was
in
the
middle
,
a
pretty
woman
beside
him
was
obviously
Lily
de
Seitas
.
Beside
her
,
his
arm
round
her
,
was
a
tall
man
.
I
looked
on
the
back
;
Bourani
,
1935
.
"
Who
are
the
other
two
?
"
"
One
was
a
friend
.
And
the
other
was
a
predecessor
of
yours
.
"
"
Geoffrey
Sugden
?
"
She
nodded
,
but
with
a
touch
of
surprise
.
I
put
the
photo
down
;
decided
to
have
a
small
revenge
.
"
I
traced
one
prewar
master
at
the
school
.
He
told
me
quite
a
lot
.
"
"
Oh
?
"
A
shadow
of
doubt
in
her
calm
voice
.
"
So
do
let
’
s
stick
to
the
truth
.
"
There
was
an
awkward
moment
’
s
silence
;
her
eyes
on
me
.
"
Was
he
…
still
bitter
?
"
"
Yes
.
Very
.
"
We
stared
at
each
other
.
Then
she
stood
up
again
and
went
to
the
desk
.
She
took
a
letter
out
and
detached
a
bottom
sheet
;
checked
it
,
then
came
and
handed
it
to
me
.
It
was
a
carbon
copy
of
Nevinson
’
s
letter
to
me
.
On
the
top
he
had
scrawled
:
"
Hope
this
dust
does
not
cause
any
permanent
harm
to
the
recipient
’
s
eyes
!
"
She
had
turned
away
and
was
looking
along
some
bookshelves
beside
the
desk
,
but
now
she
came
back
,
with
a
wide
-
eyed
look
,
half
of
warning
,
half
of
reproach
,
and
silently
handed
me
the
books
in
exchange
for
the
letter
.
I
swallowed
a
sarcasm
and
looked
at
the
top
book
—
a
school
textbook
,
clothbound
in
blue
.
An
Intermediate
Greek
Anthology
for
Schools
,
compiled
and
annotated
by
William
Hughes
,
M
.
A
.
(
Cantab
.
)
,
1932
.
"
He
did
that
as
hackwork
—
for
bread
.
The
other
two
he
did
for
love
.
"
One
was
a
limited
edition
of
a
translation
of
Longus
,
dated
1936
.
"
1936
.
Still
Hughes
?
"
"
An
author
can
use
whatever
name
he
likes
.
"
The
other
book
was
an
edition
of
translations
from
the
poems
of
Palamas
,
Solomos
,
and
other
modern
Greek
poets
;
even
some
by
Seferis
.
"
Maurice
Conchis
,
the
famous
poet
.
"
I
looked
sourly
up
.
"
Brilliant
choice
on
my
part
.
"
She
took
the
books
and
put
them
on
the
table
.
"
I
thought
you
did
it
very
intelligently
.
"
"
Even
though
I
’
m
a
very
foolish
young
man
.
"
"
Silliness
and
intelligence
are
not
incompatible
.
Especially
in
your
sex
and
at
your
age
.
"
She
went
and
sat
in
her
wingchair
again
,
and
smiled
again
at
my
unsmiling
face
;
an
insidiously
warm
,
friendly
smile
from
an
intelligent
,
balanced
woman
.
But
how
could
she
be
balanced
?
I
went
to
the
window
.
Sunlight
touched
my
hands
.
I
could
see
Benjie
and
the
Norwegian
girl
playing
catch
down
by
the
loggia
.
Every
so
often
their
cries
reached
back
to
us
.
"
Supposing
I
’
d
believed
your
story
about
Mr
.
Rat
?
"
"
I
should
have
remembered
something
very
interesting
about
him
.
"
"
And
?
"
"
You
would
have
come
out
again
to
hear
it
.
"
"
Supposing
I
’
d
never
traced
you
in
the
first
place
?
"
"
A
Mrs
.
Hughes
would
in
due
course
have
asked
you
to
lunch
.
"
"
Just
like
that
?
"
"
Of
course
not
.
She
would
have
written
a
letter
.
"
She
sat
back
,
closed
her
eyes
.
"
My
dear
Mr
.
Urfe
,
I
must
explain
that
I
have
obtained
your
name
from
the
British
Council
.
My
husband
,
who
was
the
first
English
master
at
the
Lord
Byron
School
,
died
recently
and
among
his
private
papers
we
have
come
across
an
account
,
hitherto
unknown
to
me
,
of
a
remarkable
experience
that
…
"
she
opened
her
eyes
and
raised
her
eyebrows
interrogatively
.
"
And
when
would
this
call
have
come
?
How
much
longer
?
"
"
I
’
m
afraid
I
can
’
t
tell
you
that
.
"
"
Won
’
t
tell
me
.
"
"
No
.
It
is
not
for
me
to
decide
.
"
"
Look
,
there
’
s
just
one
person
who
has
to
do
the
deciding
.
If
she
—
"
"
Precisely
.
"
She
reached
up
to
the
mantelpiece
beside
her
and
took
a
photo
out
from
behind
an
ornament
there
;
handed
it
to
me
.
"
It
’
s
not
very
good
.
Benjie
took
it
with
his
Brownie
.
"
It
was
of
three
women
on
horseback
.
One
was
Lily
de
Seitas
.
The
second
was
Gunnel
.
The
third
,
in
the
middle
,
was
Alison
.
She
looked
insecure
,
and
was
laughing
down
into
the
camera
.
"
Has
she
met
…
your
daughters
?
"
Her
blue
-
gray
eyes
stared
up
at
me
.
"
Please
keep
that
.
I
had
it
made
for
you
.
"
I
flung
my
will
against
hers
.
"
Where
is
she
?
"
"
You
may
search
the
house
.
"
She
watched
me
,
chin
on
hand
,
in
the
yellow
chair
;
unnettled
;
in
possession
.
Of
what
,
I
didn
’
t
know
;
but
in
possession
.
I
felt
like
a
green
young
dog
in
pursuit
of
a
cunning
old
hare
;
every
time
I
leapt
,
I
bit
brown
air
.
I
looked
at
the
photo
of
Alison
,
then
tore
it
in
four
and
threw
it
into
an
ashtray
on
a
console
table
by
the
window
.
Silence
,
which
eventually
she
broke
.
"
My
poor
resentful
young
man
,
let
me
tell
you
something
.
Love
may
really
be
more
a
capacity
for
love
in
oneself
than
anything
very
lovable
in
the
other
person
.
I
believe
Alison
has
a
very
rare
capacity
for
attachment
and
devotion
.
Far
more
than
I
have
ever
had
.
I
think
it
is
very
precious
.
And
all
I
have
done
is
to
persuade
her
that
she
must
not
underestimate
,
as
I
believe
she
has
all
her
life
till
now
,
what
she
has
to
give
.
"
"
How
kind
.
"
She
sighed
.
"
Sarcasm
again
.
"
"
Well
what
do
you
expect
?
Tears
of
remorse
?
"
"
Sarcasm
is
so
ugly
.
And
so
revealing
.
"
There
was
silence
.
After
a
time
,
she
went
on
.
"
You
are
really
the
luckiest
and
the
blindest
young
man
.
Lucky
because
you
are
born
with
some
charm
for
women
,
even
though
you
seem
determined
not
to
show
it
to
me
.
Blind
because
you
have
had
a
little
piece
of
pure
womankind
in
your
hands
.
Do
you
not
realize
that
Alison
possesses
the
one
great
quality
our
sex
has
to
contribute
to
life
?
Beside
which
things
like
education
,
class
,
background
,
are
nothing
?
And
you
’
ve
let
it
slip
.
"
"
Helped
by
your
charming
daughters
.
"
"
My
daughters
were
nothing
but
a
personification
of
your
own
selfishness
.
"
A
dull
,
deep
rage
brewing
in
me
.
"
I
happened
—
stupidly
,
I
grant
you
—
to
fall
in
love
with
one
of
them
.
"
"
As
an
unscrupulous
collector
falls
in
love
with
a
painting
he
wants
.
And
will
do
anything
to
get
.
"
"
Except
that
this
wasn
’
t
a
painting
.
It
was
a
girl
with
as
much
morality
as
a
worn
-
out
whore
from
the
Place
Pigalle
.
"
She
let
a
little
silence
pass
,
the
elegant
drawing
-
room
reprove
,
then
said
quietly
,
though
with
a
feminine
irony
,
"
Strong
words
.
"
I
turned
on
her
.
"
Look
,
I
begin
to
wonder
how
much
you
know
,
First
of
all
,
your
not
so
virgin
daughter
—
"
"
I
know
precisely
what
she
did
.
"
She
sat
calmly
facing
me
;
but
a
little
more
erect
.
"
And
I
know
precisely
the
reasons
behind
what
she
did
.
But
if
I
told
you
them
,
I
would
tell
you
everything
.
"
"
Shall
I
call
those
two
down
there
?
Tell
your
son
how
his
sister
performs
—
I
think
that
’
s
the
euphemism
—
with
a
Negro
?
"
She
let
silence
pass
again
,
as
if
to
isolate
what
I
said
;
as
people
leave
a
question
unanswered
in
order
to
snub
the
questioner
.
"
Does
a
Negro
make
it
so
much
worse
?
"
"
It
doesn
’
t
make
it
any
better
.
"
"
He
is
a
very
intelligent
and
charming
man
.
They
have
been
sleeping
together
for
some
time
.
"
"
And
you
approve
?
"
"
My
approval
is
unasked
for
and
ungiven
.
Lily
is
of
age
.
"
I
grinned
sourly
at
her
,
then
looked
out
at
the
garden
.
"
Now
I
understand
why
you
grow
so
many
flowers
.
"
She
shifted
her
head
,
not
understanding
.
I
said
,
"
To
cover
the
stink
of
sulphur
.
"
She
got
up
and
stood
with
one
hand
on
the
mantelpiece
,
watching
me
as
I
walked
about
the
room
;
still
calm
,
alert
,
playing
me
as
if
I
was
a
kite
.
I
might
plunge
and
flare
;
but
she
held
the
string
.
"
Are
you
prepared
to
listen
without
interrupting
?
"
I
looked
at
her
;
then
shrugged
assent
.
"
Very
well
.
Now
let
us
get
this
business
of
what
is
and
what
is
not
sexually
proper
out
of
the
way
.
"
Her
voice
was
cold
;
a
fierceness
.
"
Because
I
live
in
a
Queen
Anne
house
do
not
think
I
live
,
like
most
of
the
rest
of
our
country
,
by
a
Queen
Anne
morality
.
"
"
Nothing
was
further
from
my
mind
.
"
"
Will
you
listen
?
"
I
went
and
stood
by
the
window
,
my
back
to
her
.
I
lit
a
cigarette
;
I
felt
that
at
last
I
ought
to
have
her
in
a
corner
;
I
must
have
her
in
a
corner
.
"
How
shall
I
explain
to
you
?
If
Maurice
were
here
he
would
tell
you
that
sex
is
perhaps
a
greater
,
but
in
no
way
a
different
,
pleasure
from
any
other
.
He
would
tell
you
that
it
is
only
one
part
—
and
not
the
essential
part
—
in
the
relationship
we
call
love
.
He
would
tell
you
that
the
essential
part
is
truth
,
the
trust
two
people
build
between
their
minds
.
Their
souls
.
What
you
will
.
That
the
real
infidelity
is
the
one
that
hides
the
sexual
infidelity
.
Because
the
one
thing
that
must
never
come
between
two
people
who
have
offered
each
other
love
is
a
lie
.
"
I
stared
out
over
the
lawn
.
I
knew
it
was
prepared
,
all
she
was
saying
;
perhaps
learnt
by
heart
,
a
key
speech
.
"
Are
you
daring
to
preach
to
me
,
Mrs
.
de
Seitas
?
"
"
Are
you
daring
to
pretend
that
you
do
not
need
the
sermon
?
"
"
Look
—
"
"
Listen
to
me
.
"
If
her
voice
had
held
the
least
sharpness
or
arrogance
,
I
should
not
have
done
so
.
But
it
was
unexpectedly
gentle
;
almost
beseeching
.
"
I
am
trying
to
explain
what
we
are
.
Maurice
convinced
us
—
over
twenty
years
ago
—
that
we
should
banish
the
normal
taboos
of
sexual
behavior
from
our
lives
.
