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- Джон Фоулз
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- Коллекционер
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- Стр. 79/299
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Instead
of
massacring
butterflies
,
like
a
stupid
schoolboy
.
"
Some
very
clever
people
collect
butterflies
,
I
said
.
"
Oh
,
clever
.
.
.
what
’
s
the
use
of
that
?
Are
they
human
beings
?
"
What
do
you
mean
?
I
asked
.
"
If
you
have
to
ask
,
I
can
’
t
give
you
the
answer
.
"
Then
she
said
,
"
I
always
seem
to
end
up
by
talking
down
to
you
.
I
hate
it
.
It
’
s
you
.
You
always
squirm
one
step
lower
than
I
can
go
.
"
She
went
like
that
at
me
sometimes
.
Of
course
I
forgave
her
,
though
it
hurt
at
the
time
.
What
she
was
asking
for
was
someone
different
to
me
,
someone
I
could
never
be
.
For
instance
,
all
that
night
after
she
said
I
could
collect
pictures
I
thought
about
it
;
I
dreamed
myself
collecting
pictures
,
having
a
big
house
with
famous
pictures
hanging
on
the
walls
,
and
people
coming
to
see
them
.
Miranda
there
,
too
,
of
course
.
But
I
knew
all
the
time
it
was
silly
;
I
’
d
never
collect
anything
but
butterflies
.
Pictures
don
’
t
mean
anything
to
me
.
I
wouldn
’
t
be
doing
it
because
I
wanted
,
so
there
wouldn
’
t
be
any
point
.
She
could
never
see
that
.
She
did
several
more
drawings
of
me
which
were
quite
good
,
but
there
was
something
in
them
I
didn
’
t
like
,
she
didn
’
t
bother
so
much
about
a
nice
likeness
as
what
she
called
my
inner
character
,
so
sometimes
she
made
my
nose
so
pointed
it
would
have
pricked
you
and
my
mouth
was
all
thin
and
unpleasant
,
I
mean
more
than
it
really
is
,
because
I
know
I
’
m
no
beauty
.
I
didn
’
t
dare
think
about
the
four
weeks
being
up
,
I
didn
’
t
know
what
would
happen
,
I
just
thought
there
would
be
arguing
and
she
’
d
sulk
and
I
’
d
get
her
to
stay
another
four
weeks
—
I
mean
I
thought
I
had
some
sort
of
power
over
her
,
she
would
do
what
I
wanted
.
I
lived
from
day
to
day
,
really
.
I
mean
there
was
no
plan
.
I
just
waited
.
I
even
half
expected
the
police
to
come
.
I
had
a
horrible
dream
one
night
when
they
came
and
I
had
to
kill
her
before
they
came
in
the
room
.
It
seemed
like
a
duty
and
I
had
only
a
cushion
to
kill
her
with
.
I
hit
and
hit
and
she
laughed
and
then
I
jumped
on
her
and
smothered
her
and
she
lay
still
,
and
then
when
I
took
the
cushion
away
she
was
lying
there
laughing
,
she
’
d
only
pretended
to
die
.
I
woke
up
in
a
sweat
,
that
was
the
first
time
I
ever
dreamed
of
killing
anyone
.
She
started
talking
about
going
several
days
before
the
end
.
She
kept
on
saying
that
she
would
never
tell
a
soul
,
and
of
course
I
had
to
say
I
believed
her
,
but
I
knew
even
if
she
meant
it
the
police
or
her
parents
would
screw
it
out
of
her
in
the
end
.
And
she
kept
on
about
how
we
’
d
be
friends
and
she
’
d
help
me
choose
pictures
and
introduce
me
to
people
and
look
after
me
.
She
was
very
nice
to
me
those
days
;
not
that
of
course
she
didn
’
t
have
her
reasons
.
