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- Джон Фоулз
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I
’
m
not
going
to
lose
my
head
and
try
and
rush
out
at
the
first
chance
.
He
’
ll
watch
me
,
I
know
.
I
can
’
t
imagine
what
he
’
ll
do
.
The
window
will
be
boarded
and
he
’
ll
lock
the
door
.
But
there
’
ll
be
ways
of
seeing
daylight
.
Sooner
or
later
there
’
ll
be
a
chance
(
if
he
doesn
’
t
let
me
go
of
his
own
accord
)
to
run
for
it
.
But
I
know
it
will
be
only
one
chance
.
If
he
caught
me
escaping
he
’
d
put
me
straight
back
down
here
.
So
it
must
be
a
really
good
chance
.
A
sure
one
.
I
tell
myself
I
must
prepare
for
the
worst
.
But
something
about
him
makes
me
feel
that
this
time
he
will
do
what
he
has
said
.
I
’
ve
caught
his
cold
.
It
doesn
’
t
matter
.
Oh
my
God
my
God
I
could
kill
myself
.
He
’
s
going
to
kill
me
with
despair
.
I
’
m
still
down
here
.
He
never
meant
it
.
He
wants
to
take
photographs
.
That
’
s
his
secret
.
He
wants
to
take
my
clothes
off
and
.
.
.
oh
God
I
never
knew
till
now
what
loathing
was
.
