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November
25th
(
Afternoon
.
)
This
morning
I
had
a
talk
with
him
.
I
got
him
to
sit
as
a
model
.
Then
I
asked
him
what
he
really
wanted
me
to
do
.
Should
I
become
his
mistress
?
But
that
shocked
him
.
He
went
red
and
said
he
could
buy
that
in
London
.
I
told
him
he
was
a
Chinese
box
.
And
he
is
.
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The
innermost
box
is
that
I
should
love
him
;
in
all
ways
.
With
my
body
,
with
my
mind
.
Respect
him
and
cherish
him
.
It
s
so
utterly
impossible
even
if
I
could
overcome
the
physical
thing
,
how
could
I
ever
look
in
any
way
but
down
on
him
?
Battering
his
head
on
a
stone
wall
.
I
don
t
want
to
die
.
I
feel
full
of
endurance
.
I
shall
always
want
to
survive
.
I
will
survive
.
November
26th
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The
only
unusual
thing
about
him
how
he
loves
me
.
Ordinary
New
People
couldn
t
love
anything
as
he
loves
me
.
That
is
blindly
.
Absolutely
.
Like
Dante
and
Beatrice
.
He
enjoys
being
hopelessly
in
love
with
me
.
I
expect
Dante
was
the
same
.
Mooning
around
knowing
it
was
all
quite
hopeless
and
getting
lots
of
good
creative
material
from
the
experience
.
Though
of
course
Caliban
can
t
get
anything
but
his
own
miserable
pleasure
.