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I
know
I
have
to
steel
myself
against
not
being
freed
.
I
tell
myself
it
s
a
chance
in
a
hundred
that
he
ll
keep
his
word
.
But
he
must
keep
his
word
.
G
.
P
.
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I
hadn
t
seen
him
for
two
months
,
more
than
two
months
.
Being
in
France
and
Spain
and
then
at
home
.
(
I
did
try
to
see
him
twice
,
but
he
was
away
all
September
.
)
There
was
a
postcard
in
answer
to
my
letters
.
That
was
all
.
I
telephoned
him
and
asked
him
if
I
could
go
round
,
the
first
evening
I
was
back
with
Caroline
.
He
said
the
next
day
,
there
were
some
people
there
that
evening
.
He
seemed
glad
to
see
me
.
I
was
trying
to
look
as
if
I
hadn
t
tried
to
look
pretty
.
I
had
.
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And
I
told
him
all
about
France
and
Spain
and
the
Goyas
and
Albi
and
everything
else
.
Piers
.
And
he
listened
,
he
wouldn
t
really
say
what
he
had
been
doing
,
but
later
he
showed
me
some
of
the
things
he
d
done
in
the
Hebrides
.
And
I
felt
ashamed
.
Because
we
d
none
of
us
done
much
,
we
d
been
too
busy
lying
in
the
sun
(
I
mean
too
lazy
)
and
looking
at
great
pictures
to
do
much
drawing
or
anything
.
I
said
(
having
gushed
for
at
least
an
hour
)
I
m
talking
too
much
.
He
said
,
I
don
t
mind
.