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- Джон Фоулз
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- Коллекционер
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- Стр. 229/299
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Because
I
’
m
one
of
them
.
I
’
m
one
of
them
.
I
feel
it
and
I
’
ve
tried
to
prove
it
.
I
felt
it
during
my
last
year
at
Ladymont
.
There
were
the
few
of
us
who
cared
,
and
there
were
the
silly
ones
,
the
snobbish
ones
,
the
would
-
be
debutantes
and
the
daddy
’
s
darlings
and
the
horsophiles
and
the
sex
-
cats
.
I
’
ll
never
go
back
to
Ladymont
.
Because
I
couldn
’
t
stand
that
suffocating
atmosphere
of
the
"
done
"
thing
and
the
"
right
"
people
and
the
"
nice
"
behaviour
.
(
Boadicaea
writing
"
in
spite
of
her
weird
political
views
"
on
my
report
—
how
dared
she
?
)
I
will
not
be
an
old
girl
of
such
a
place
.
Why
should
we
tolerate
their
beastly
Calibanity
?
Why
should
every
vital
and
creative
and
good
person
be
martyred
by
the
great
universal
stodge
around
?
In
this
situation
I
’
m
a
representative
.
A
martyr
.
Imprisoned
,
unable
to
grow
.
At
the
mercy
of
this
resentment
,
this
hateful
millstone
envy
of
the
Calibans
of
this
world
.
Because
they
all
hate
us
,
they
hate
us
for
being
different
,
for
not
being
them
,
for
their
own
not
being
like
us
.
They
persecute
us
,
they
crowd
us
out
,
they
send
us
to
Coventry
,
they
sneer
at
us
,
they
yawn
at
us
,
they
blindfold
themselves
and
stuff
up
their
ears
.
They
do
anything
to
avoid
having
to
take
notice
of
us
and
respect
us
.
They
go
crawling
after
the
great
ones
among
us
when
they
’
re
dead
.
They
pay
thousands
and
thousands
for
the
Van
Goghs
and
Modiglianis
they
’
d
have
spat
on
at
the
time
they
were
painted
.
Guffawed
at
.
Made
coarse
jokes
about
.
I
hate
them
.
I
hate
the
uneducated
and
the
ignorant
.
I
hate
the
pompous
and
the
phoney
.
I
hate
the
jealous
and
the
resentful
.
I
hate
the
crabbed
and
the
mean
and
the
petty
.
I
hate
all
ordinary
dull
little
people
who
aren
’
t
ashamed
of
being
dull
and
little
.
I
hate
what
G
.
P
.
calls
the
New
People
,
the
new
-
class
people
with
their
cars
and
their
money
and
their
tellies
and
their
stupid
vulgarities
and
their
stupid
crawling
imitation
of
the
bourgeoisie
.
I
love
honesty
and
freedom
and
giving
.
I
love
making
,
I
love
doing
.
I
love
being
to
the
full
,
I
love
everything
which
is
not
sitting
and
watching
and
copying
and
dead
at
heart
.
G
.
P
.
was
laughing
at
my
being
Labour
one
day
(
early
on
)
.
I
remember
he
said
,
you
are
supporting
the
party
which
brought
the
New
People
into
existence
—
do
you
realize
that
?
