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- Джон Фоулз
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Another
escape
.
So
nearly
,
it
seemed
at
one
point
.
But
it
never
was
.
He
’
s
a
devil
.
I
tried
the
appendicitis
trick
.
I
thought
of
it
weeks
ago
.
I
’
ve
always
thought
of
it
as
a
sort
of
last
resort
.
Something
I
must
not
bungle
through
unpreparedness
.
I
didn
’
t
write
about
it
here
,
in
case
he
found
this
.
I
rubbed
talc
into
my
face
.
Then
when
he
knocked
on
the
door
this
morning
I
swallowed
a
whole
lot
of
saved
-
up
salt
and
water
and
pressed
my
tongue
and
the
timing
was
perfect
,
he
came
in
and
saw
me
being
sick
.
I
put
on
a
tremendous
act
.
Lying
on
the
bed
with
my
hair
in
a
mess
and
holding
my
tummy
.
Still
in
my
pyjamas
and
dressing
-
gown
.
Groaning
a
little
,
as
if
I
was
being
terribly
brave
.
All
the
time
he
stood
and
said
,
what
’
s
wrong
,
what
’
s
wrong
?
And
we
had
a
sort
of
desperate
broken
conversation
,
Caliban
trying
to
get
out
of
taking
me
to
hospital
,
I
insisting
that
he
must
.
And
then
suddenly
he
seemed
to
give
way
.
He
muttered
something
about
it
being
"
the
end
"
and
rushed
out
.
I
heard
the
iron
door
go
(
I
was
still
staring
at
the
wall
)
but
no
bolts
.
Then
the
outer
door
.
And
there
was
silence
.
It
was
weird
.
So
sudden
,
so
complete
.
It
had
worked
.
I
pulled
on
some
socks
and
shoes
and
ran
to
the
iron
door
.
It
had
sprung
back
an
inch
or
two
—
was
open
.
I
thought
it
might
be
all
a
trap
.
So
I
kept
up
the
act
,
I
opened
the
door
and
said
his
name
in
a
quiet
voice
and
hobbled
weakly
across
the
cellar
and
up
the
steps
.
I
could
see
the
light
,
he
hadn
’
t
locked
the
outer
door
,
either
.
It
flashed
across
my
mind
that
it
was
just
what
he
would
do
,
he
wouldn
’
t
go
to
the
doctor
.
He
’
d
run
away
.
Crack
up
completely
.
But
he
’
d
take
the
van
.
So
I
would
hear
the
engine
.
But
I
couldn
’
t
.
I
must
have
waited
several
minutes
,
I
should
have
known
but
I
couldn
’
t
bear
the
suspense
.
I
pulled
the
door
open
and
rushed
out
.
And
he
was
there
.
At
once
.
In
all
the
daylight
.
Waiting
.
I
couldn
’
t
pretend
I
was
ill
.
I
’
d
put
shoes
on
.
He
had
something
(
a
hammer
?
)
in
his
hand
,
peculiar
wide
eyes
,
I
’
m
sure
he
was
going
to
attack
me
.
We
sort
of
stood
poised
for
a
moment
,
neither
of
us
knowing
what
to
do
.
Then
I
turned
and
ran
back
.
I
don
’
t
know
why
,
I
didn
’
t
stop
to
think
.
He
came
after
me
,
but
he
stopped
when
he
saw
me
go
inside
(
as
I
instinctively
knew
he
would
—
the
only
safe
place
from
him
was
down
here
)
.
I
heard
him
come
and
the
bolts
were
shot
to
.
I
know
it
was
the
right
thing
to
do
.
It
saved
my
life
.
If
I
had
screamed
or
tried
to
escape
he
would
have
battered
me
to
death
.
There
are
moments
when
he
is
possessed
,
quite
out
of
his
own
control
.
His
trick
.
(
Midnight
.
)
He
brought
me
supper
down
here
.
He
didn
’
t
say
a
word
.
I
’
d
spent
the
afternoon
doing
a
strip
cartoon
of
him
.
The
Awful
Tale
of
a
Harmless
Boy
.
Absurd
.
But
I
have
to
keep
the
reality
and
the
horror
at
bay
.
