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- Джон Фоулз
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- Коллекционер
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I
never
said
that
,
I
answered
.
She
always
seemed
to
get
me
on
the
defensive
.
In
my
dreams
it
was
always
the
other
way
round
.
"
Why
am
I
here
?
"
I
want
you
to
be
my
guest
.
"
Your
guest
!
"
She
stood
up
and
walked
round
the
armchair
and
leant
against
the
back
,
eyes
on
me
all
the
time
.
She
’
d
taken
her
blue
jumper
off
,
she
stood
there
in
a
dark
green
tartan
dress
,
like
a
schoolgirl
tunic
,
with
a
white
blouse
open
at
the
throat
.
Her
hair
swept
back
into
the
pigtail
.
Her
lovely
face
.
She
looked
brave
.
I
don
’
t
know
why
,
I
thought
of
her
sitting
on
my
knees
,
very
still
,
with
me
stroking
her
soft
blonde
hair
,
all
out
loose
as
I
saw
it
after
.
Suddenly
I
said
,
I
love
you
.
It
’
s
driven
me
mad
.
She
said
,
"
I
see
,
"
in
a
queer
grave
voice
.
She
didn
’
t
look
at
me
any
more
then
.
I
know
it
’
s
old
-
fashioned
to
say
you
love
a
woman
,
I
never
meant
to
do
it
then
.
In
my
dreams
it
was
always
we
looked
into
each
other
’
s
eyes
one
day
and
then
we
kissed
and
nothing
was
said
until
after
.
A
chap
called
Nobby
in
R
.
A
.
P
.
C
.
who
knew
all
about
women
,
always
said
you
shouldn
’
t
ever
tell
a
woman
you
loved
her
.
Even
if
you
did
.
If
you
had
to
say
"
I
love
you
,
"
you
said
it
joking
—
he
said
that
way
it
kept
them
after
you
.
You
had
to
play
hard
to
get
.
The
silly
thing
was
I
told
myself
a
dozen
times
before
I
mustn
’
t
tell
her
I
loved
her
,
but
let
it
come
naturally
on
both
sides
.
But
when
I
had
her
there
my
head
went
round
and
I
often
said
things
I
didn
’
t
mean
to
.
I
don
’
t
mean
I
told
her
everything
.
I
told
her
about
working
in
the
Annexe
and
seeing
her
and
thinking
about
her
and
the
way
she
behaved
and
walked
and
all
she
’
d
meant
to
me
and
then
having
money
and
knowing
she
’
d
never
look
at
me
in
spite
of
it
and
being
lonely
.
