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- Джон Фоулз
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- Коллекционер
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- Стр. 193/299
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He
didn
’
t
seem
at
ease
.
As
if
he
had
to
talk
.
Be
on
the
defensive
.
Disillusion
me
and
get
my
sympathy
at
the
same
time
.
He
said
,
lust
is
simple
.
You
reach
an
understanding
at
once
.
You
both
want
to
get
into
bed
or
one
of
you
doesn
’
t
.
But
love
.
The
women
I
’
ve
loved
have
always
told
me
I
’
m
selfish
.
It
’
s
what
makes
them
love
me
.
And
then
be
disgusted
with
me
.
Do
you
know
what
they
always
think
is
selfishness
?
He
was
scraping
the
glue
away
from
a
broken
Chinese
blue
-
and
-
white
bowl
he
’
d
bought
in
the
Portobello
Road
,
and
repaired
,
two
fiendishly
excited
horsemen
chasing
a
timid
little
fallow
-
deer
.
Very
short
-
fingered
,
sure
hands
.
Not
that
I
will
paint
in
my
own
way
,
live
in
my
own
way
,
speak
in
my
own
way
—
they
don
’
t
mind
that
.
It
even
excites
them
.
But
what
they
can
’
t
stand
is
that
I
hate
them
when
they
don
’
t
behave
in
their
own
way
.
It
was
as
if
I
was
another
man
.
People
like
your
bloody
aunt
think
I
’
m
a
cynic
,
a
wrecker
of
homes
.
A
rake
.
I
’
ve
never
seduced
a
woman
in
my
life
.
I
like
bed
,
I
like
the
female
body
,
I
like
the
way
even
the
shallowest
of
women
become
beautiful
when
their
clothes
are
off
and
they
think
they
’
re
taking
a
profound
and
wicked
step
.
They
always
do
,
the
first
time
.
Do
you
know
what
is
almost
extinct
in
your
sex
?
He
looked
sideways
at
me
,
so
I
shook
my
head
.
Innocence
.
The
one
time
you
see
it
is
when
a
woman
takes
her
clothes
off
and
cannot
look
you
in
the
eyes
(
as
I
couldn
’
t
then
)
.
Just
that
first
Botticelli
moment
of
the
first
time
of
her
taking
her
clothes
off
.
Soon
shrivels
.
The
old
Eve
takes
over
.
The
strumpet
.
Exit
Anadyomene
.
Who
’
s
she
?
I
asked
.
He
explained
.
I
was
thinking
,
I
shouldn
’
t
let
him
talk
like
this
,
he
’
s
drawing
a
net
round
me
.
I
didn
’
t
think
it
,
I
felt
it
.
He
said
,
I
’
ve
met
dozens
of
women
and
girls
like
you
.
Some
I
’
ve
known
well
,
some
I
’
ve
seduced
against
their
better
nature
and
my
better
nature
,
two
I
’
ve
even
married
.
Some
I
’
ve
hardly
known
at
all
,
just
stood
beside
them
at
an
exhibition
,
in
the
Tube
,
wherever
.
