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- Джон Фоулз
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- Коллекционер
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I
know
it
seems
vivid
because
my
imagination
fills
in
all
the
bits
another
person
wouldn
’
t
understand
.
I
mean
,
it
’
s
vanity
.
But
it
seems
a
sort
of
magic
,
to
be
able
to
call
my
past
back
.
And
I
just
can
’
t
live
in
this
present
.
I
would
go
mad
if
I
did
.
I
’
ve
been
thinking
today
of
the
time
I
took
Piers
and
i
Antoinette
to
meet
him
.
The
black
side
of
him
.
No
,
I
was
stupid
.
They
’
d
come
up
to
Hampstead
to
have
coffee
and
we
were
to
go
to
the
Everyman
,
but
the
queue
was
too
long
.
So
I
let
them
bully
me
into
taking
them
round
.
It
was
vanity
on
my
part
.
I
’
d
talked
too
much
about
him
.
So
that
they
began
to
hint
that
I
couldn
’
t
be
so
very
friendly
if
I
was
afraid
to
take
them
round
to
meet
him
.
And
I
fell
for
it
.
I
could
see
he
wasn
’
t
pleased
at
the
door
,
but
he
asked
us
up
.
And
oh
,
it
was
terrible
.
Terrible
.
Piers
was
at
his
slickest
and
cheapest
and
Antoinette
was
almost
parodying
herself
,
she
was
so
sex
-
kittenish
.
I
tried
to
excuse
everyone
to
everyone
else
.
G
.
P
.
was
in
such
a
weird
mood
.
I
knew
he
could
withdraw
,
but
he
went
out
of
his
way
to
be
rude
.
He
could
have
seen
Piers
was
only
trying
to
cover
up
his
feeling
of
insecurity
.
They
tried
to
get
him
to
discuss
his
own
work
,
but
he
wouldn
’
t
.
He
started
to
be
outrageous
.
Four
-
letter
words
.
All
sorts
of
bitter
cynical
things
about
the
Slade
and
various
artists
—
things
I
know
he
doesn
’
t
believe
.
He
certainly
managed
to
shock
me
and
Piers
,
but
of
course
Antoinette
just
went
one
better
.
Simpered
and
trembled
her
eyelashes
,
and
said
something
fouler
still
.
So
he
changed
tack
.
Cut
us
short
every
time
we
tried
to
speak
(
me
too
)
.
And
then
I
did
something
even
more
stupid
than
the
having
gone
there
in
the
first
place
.
There
was
a
pause
,
and
he
obviously
thought
we
would
go
.
But
I
idiotically
thought
I
could
see
Antoinette
and
Piers
looking
rather
amused
and
I
was
sure
it
was
because
they
felt
I
didn
’
t
know
him
as
well
as
I
’
d
said
.
So
I
had
to
try
to
prove
to
them
that
I
could
manage
him
.
I
said
,
could
we
have
a
record
,
G
.
P
.
?
For
a
moment
he
looked
as
if
would
he
say
no
,
but
then
he
said
,
why
not
?
Let
’
s
hear
someone
saying
something
.
for
a
change
.
He
didn
’
t
give
us
any
choice
,
he
just
went
and
put
a
record
on
.
He
lay
on
the
divan
with
his
eyes
closed
,
as
usual
,
and
Piers
and
Antoinette
obviously
thought
it
was
a
pose
.
