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"
Remember
,
"
cried
Willoughby
,
"
from
whom
you
received
the
account
.
Could
it
be
an
impartial
one
?
I
acknowledge
that
her
situation
and
her
character
ought
to
have
been
respected
by
me
.
I
do
not
mean
to
justify
myself
,
but
at
the
same
time
cannot
leave
you
to
suppose
that
I
have
nothing
to
urge
—
that
because
she
was
injured
she
was
irreproachable
,
and
because
I
was
a
libertine
,
SHE
must
be
a
saint
.
If
the
violence
of
her
passions
,
the
weakness
of
her
understanding
—
I
do
not
mean
,
however
,
to
defend
myself
.
Her
affection
for
me
deserved
better
treatment
,
and
I
often
,
with
great
self
-
reproach
,
recall
the
tenderness
which
,
for
a
very
short
time
,
had
the
power
of
creating
any
return
.
I
wish
—
I
heartily
wish
it
had
never
been
.
But
I
have
injured
more
than
herself
;
and
I
have
injured
one
,
whose
affection
for
me
—
(
may
I
say
it
?
)
was
scarcely
less
warm
than
hers
;
and
whose
mind
—
Oh
!
how
infinitely
superior
!
"
—
"
Your
indifference
,
however
,
towards
that
unfortunate
girl
—
I
must
say
it
,
unpleasant
to
me
as
the
discussion
of
such
a
subject
may
well
be
—
your
indifference
is
no
apology
for
your
cruel
neglect
of
her
.
Do
not
think
yourself
excused
by
any
weakness
,
any
natural
defect
of
understanding
on
her
side
,
in
the
wanton
cruelty
so
evident
on
yours
.
You
must
have
known
,
that
while
you
were
enjoying
yourself
in
Devonshire
pursuing
fresh
schemes
,
always
gay
,
always
happy
,
she
was
reduced
to
the
extremest
indigence
.
"
"
But
,
upon
my
soul
,
I
did
NOT
know
it
,
"
he
warmly
replied
;
"
I
did
not
recollect
that
I
had
omitted
to
give
her
my
direction
;
and
common
sense
might
have
told
her
how
to
find
it
out
.
"
"
Well
,
sir
,
and
what
said
Mrs
.
Smith
?
"
"
She
taxed
me
with
the
offence
at
once
,
and
my
confusion
may
be
guessed
.
The
purity
of
her
life
,
the
formality
of
her
notions
,
her
ignorance
of
the
world
—
every
thing
was
against
me
.
The
matter
itself
I
could
not
deny
,
and
vain
was
every
endeavour
to
soften
it
.
She
was
previously
disposed
,
I
believe
,
to
doubt
the
morality
of
my
conduct
in
general
,
and
was
moreover
discontented
with
the
very
little
attention
,
the
very
little
portion
of
my
time
that
I
had
bestowed
on
her
,
in
my
present
visit
.
In
short
,
it
ended
in
a
total
breach
.
By
one
measure
I
might
have
saved
myself
.
In
the
height
of
her
morality
,
good
woman
!
she
offered
to
forgive
the
past
,
if
I
would
marry
Eliza
.
That
could
not
be
—
and
I
was
formally
dismissed
from
her
favour
and
her
house
.
The
night
following
this
affair
—
I
was
to
go
the
next
morning
—
was
spent
by
me
in
deliberating
on
what
my
future
conduct
should
be
.
The
struggle
was
great
—
but
it
ended
too
soon
.
My
affection
for
Marianne
,
my
thorough
conviction
of
her
attachment
to
me
—
it
was
all
insufficient
to
outweigh
that
dread
of
poverty
,
or
get
the
better
of
those
false
ideas
of
the
necessity
of
riches
,
which
I
was
naturally
inclined
to
feel
,
and
expensive
society
had
increased
.
I
had
reason
to
believe
myself
secure
of
my
present
wife
,
if
I
chose
to
address
her
,
and
I
persuaded
myself
to
think
that
nothing
else
in
common
prudence
remained
for
me
to
do
.
A
heavy
scene
however
awaited
me
,
before
I
could
leave
Devonshire
;
—
I
was
engaged
to
dine
with
you
on
that
very
day
;
some
apology
was
therefore
necessary
for
my
breaking
this
engagement
.
But
whether
I
should
write
this
apology
,
or
deliver
it
in
person
,
was
a
point
of
long
debate
.
To
see
Marianne
,
I
felt
,
would
be
dreadful
,
and
I
even
doubted
whether
I
could
see
her
again
,
and
keep
to
my
resolution
.
In
that
point
,
however
,
I
undervalued
my
own
magnanimity
,
as
the
event
declared
;
for
I
went
,
I
saw
her
,
and
saw
her
miserable
,
and
left
her
miserable
—
and
left
her
hoping
never
to
see
her
again
.
"
"
Why
did
you
call
,
Mr
.
Willoughby
?
"
said
Elinor
,
reproachfully
;
"
a
note
would
have
answered
every
purpose
.
—
Why
was
it
necessary
to
call
?
"
"
It
was
necessary
to
my
own
pride
.
I
could
not
bear
to
leave
the
country
in
a
manner
that
might
lead
you
,
or
the
rest
of
the
neighbourhood
,
to
suspect
any
part
of
what
had
really
passed
between
Mrs
.
Smith
and
myself
—
and
I
resolved
therefore
on
calling
at
the
cottage
,
in
my
way
to
Honiton
.
The
sight
of
your
dear
sister
,
however
,
was
really
dreadful
;
and
,
to
heighten
the
matter
,
I
found
her
alone
.
You
were
all
gone
I
do
not
know
where
.
I
had
left
her
only
the
evening
before
,
so
fully
,
so
firmly
resolved
within
my
self
on
doing
right
!
A
few
hours
were
to
have
engaged
her
to
me
for
ever
;
and
I
remember
how
happy
,
how
gay
were
my
spirits
,
as
I
walked
from
the
cottage
to
Allenham
,
satisfied
with
myself
,
delighted
with
every
body
!
But
in
this
,
our
last
interview
of
friendship
,
I
approached
her
with
a
sense
of
guilt
that
almost
took
from
me
the
power
of
dissembling
.
Her
sorrow
,
her
disappointment
,
her
deep
regret
,
when
I
told
her
that
I
was
obliged
to
leave
Devonshire
so
immediately
—
I
never
shall
forget
it
—
united
too
with
such
reliance
,
such
confidence
in
me
!
—
Oh
,
God
!
—
what
a
hard
-
hearted
rascal
I
was
!
"
