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- Чувство и чувствительность
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- Стр. 184/215
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—
Perhaps
you
will
hardly
think
the
better
of
me
,
—
it
is
worth
the
trial
however
,
and
you
shall
hear
every
thing
.
When
I
first
became
intimate
in
your
family
,
I
had
no
other
intention
,
no
other
view
in
the
acquaintance
than
to
pass
my
time
pleasantly
while
I
was
obliged
to
remain
in
Devonshire
,
more
pleasantly
than
I
had
ever
done
before
.
Your
sister
’
s
lovely
person
and
interesting
manners
could
not
but
please
me
;
and
her
behaviour
to
me
almost
from
the
first
,
was
of
a
kind
—
It
is
astonishing
,
when
I
reflect
on
what
it
was
,
and
what
SHE
was
,
that
my
heart
should
have
been
so
insensible
!
But
at
first
I
must
confess
,
my
vanity
only
was
elevated
by
it
.
Careless
of
her
happiness
,
thinking
only
of
my
own
amusement
,
giving
way
to
feelings
which
I
had
always
been
too
much
in
the
habit
of
indulging
,
I
endeavoured
,
by
every
means
in
my
power
,
to
make
myself
pleasing
to
her
,
without
any
design
of
returning
her
affection
.
"
Miss
Dashwood
,
at
this
point
,
turning
her
eyes
on
him
with
the
most
angry
contempt
,
stopped
him
,
by
saying
,
"
It
is
hardly
worth
while
,
Mr
.
Willoughby
,
for
you
to
relate
,
or
for
me
to
listen
any
longer
.
Such
a
beginning
as
this
cannot
be
followed
by
any
thing
.
—
Do
not
let
me
be
pained
by
hearing
any
thing
more
on
the
subject
.
"
"
I
insist
on
you
hearing
the
whole
of
it
,
"
he
replied
,
"
My
fortune
was
never
large
,
and
I
had
always
been
expensive
,
always
in
the
habit
of
associating
with
people
of
better
income
than
myself
.
Every
year
since
my
coming
of
age
,
or
even
before
,
I
believe
,
had
added
to
my
debts
;
and
though
the
death
of
my
old
cousin
,
Mrs
.
Smith
,
was
to
set
me
free
;
yet
that
event
being
uncertain
,
and
possibly
far
distant
,
it
had
been
for
some
time
my
intention
to
re
-
establish
my
circumstances
by
marrying
a
woman
of
fortune
.
To
attach
myself
to
your
sister
,
therefore
,
was
not
a
thing
to
be
thought
of
;
—
and
with
a
meanness
,
selfishness
,
cruelty
—
which
no
indignant
,
no
contemptuous
look
,
even
of
yours
,
Miss
Dashwood
,
can
ever
reprobate
too
much
—
I
was
acting
in
this
manner
,
trying
to
engage
her
regard
,
without
a
thought
of
returning
it
.
—
But
one
thing
may
be
said
for
me
:
even
in
that
horrid
state
of
selfish
vanity
,
I
did
not
know
the
extent
of
the
injury
I
meditated
,
because
I
did
not
THEN
know
what
it
was
to
love
.
But
have
I
ever
known
it
?
—
Well
may
it
be
doubted
;
for
,
had
I
really
loved
,
could
I
have
sacrificed
my
feelings
to
vanity
,
to
avarice
?
—
or
,
what
is
more
,
could
I
have
sacrificed
hers
?
—
But
I
have
done
it
.
To
avoid
a
comparative
poverty
,
which
her
affection
and
her
society
would
have
deprived
of
all
its
horrors
,
I
have
,
by
raising
myself
to
affluence
,
lost
every
thing
that
could
make
it
a
blessing
.
"
"
You
did
then
,
"
said
Elinor
,
a
little
softened
,
"
believe
yourself
at
one
time
attached
to
her
?
"
"
To
have
resisted
such
attractions
,
to
have
withstood
such
tenderness
!
—
Is
there
a
man
on
earth
who
could
have
done
it
?
—
Yes
,
I
found
myself
,
by
insensible
degrees
,
sincerely
fond
of
her
;
and
the
happiest
hours
of
my
life
were
what
I
spent
with
her
when
I
felt
my
intentions
were
strictly
honourable
,
and
my
feelings
blameless
.
Even
THEN
,
however
,
when
fully
determined
on
paying
my
addresses
to
her
,
I
allowed
myself
most
improperly
to
put
off
,
from
day
to
day
,
the
moment
of
doing
it
,
from
an
unwillingness
to
enter
into
an
engagement
while
my
circumstances
were
so
greatly
embarrassed
.
I
will
not
reason
here
—
nor
will
I
stop
for
YOU
to
expatiate
on
the
absurdity
,
and
the
worse
than
absurdity
,
of
scrupling
to
engage
my
faith
where
my
honour
was
already
bound
.
The
event
has
proved
,
that
I
was
a
cunning
fool
,
providing
with
great
circumspection
for
a
possible
opportunity
of
making
myself
contemptible
and
wretched
for
ever
.
At
last
,
however
,
my
resolution
was
taken
,
and
I
had
determined
,
as
soon
as
I
could
engage
her
alone
,
to
justify
the
attentions
I
had
so
invariably
paid
her
,
and
openly
assure
her
of
an
affection
which
I
had
already
taken
such
pains
to
display
.
But
in
the
interim
—
in
the
interim
of
the
very
few
hours
that
were
to
pass
,
before
I
could
have
an
opportunity
of
speaking
with
her
in
private
—
a
circumstance
occurred
—
an
unlucky
circumstance
,
to
ruin
all
my
resolution
,
and
with
it
all
my
comfort
.
A
discovery
took
place
,
"
—
here
he
hesitated
and
looked
down
.
—
"
Mrs
.
Smith
had
somehow
or
other
been
informed
,
I
imagine
by
some
distant
relation
,
whose
interest
it
was
to
deprive
me
of
her
favour
,
of
an
affair
,
a
connection
—
but
I
need
not
explain
myself
farther
,
"
he
added
,
looking
at
her
with
an
heightened
colour
and
an
enquiring
eye
—
"
your
particular
intimacy
—
you
have
probably
heard
the
whole
story
long
ago
.
"
"
I
have
,
"
returned
Elinor
,
colouring
likewise
,
and
hardening
her
heart
anew
against
any
compassion
for
him
,
"
I
have
heard
it
all
.
And
how
you
will
explain
away
any
part
of
your
guilt
in
that
dreadful
business
,
I
confess
is
beyond
my
comprehension
.
"
