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- Джеймс Джойс
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- Портрет художника в юности
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- Стр. 131/241
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Perhaps
that
first
hasty
confession
wrung
from
him
by
the
fear
of
hell
had
not
been
good
?
Perhaps
,
concerned
only
for
his
imminent
doom
,
he
had
not
had
sincere
sorrow
for
his
sin
?
But
the
surest
sign
that
his
confession
had
been
good
and
that
he
had
had
sincere
sorrow
for
his
sin
was
,
he
knew
,
the
amendment
of
his
life
.
--
I
have
amended
my
life
,
have
I
not
?
he
asked
himself
The
director
stood
in
the
embrasure
of
the
window
,
his
back
to
the
light
,
leaning
an
elbow
on
the
brown
crossblind
,
and
,
as
he
spoke
and
smiled
,
slowly
dangling
and
looping
the
cord
of
the
other
blind
,
Stephen
stood
before
him
,
following
for
a
moment
with
his
eyes
the
waning
of
the
long
summer
daylight
above
the
roofs
or
the
slow
deft
movements
of
the
priestly
fingers
.
The
priest
's
face
was
in
total
shadow
,
but
the
waning
daylight
from
behind
him
touched
the
deeply
grooved
temples
and
the
curves
of
the
skull
.
Stephen
followed
also
with
his
ears
the
accents
and
intervals
of
the
priest
's
voice
as
he
spoke
gravely
and
cordially
of
indifferent
themes
,
the
vacation
which
had
just
ended
,
the
colleges
of
the
order
abroad
,
the
transference
of
masters
.
The
grave
and
cordial
voice
went
on
easily
with
its
tale
and
in
the
pauses
Stephen
felt
bound
to
set
it
on
again
with
respectful
questions
.
He
knew
that
the
tale
was
a
prelude
and
his
mind
waited
for
the
sequel
.
Ever
since
the
message
of
summons
had
come
for
him
from
the
director
his
mind
had
struggled
to
find
the
meaning
of
the
message
;
and
,
during
the
long
restless
time
he
had
sat
in
the
college
parlour
waiting
for
the
director
to
come
in
,
his
eyes
had
wandered
from
one
sober
picture
to
another
around
the
walls
and
his
mind
wandered
from
one
guess
to
another
until
the
meaning
of
the
summons
had
almost
become
clear
.
Then
,
just
as
he
was
wishing
that
some
unforeseen
cause
might
prevent
the
director
from
coming
,
he
had
heard
the
handle
of
the
door
turning
and
the
swish
of
a
soutane
.
The
director
had
begun
to
speak
of
the
dominican
and
franciscan
orders
and
of
the
friendship
between
saint
Thomas
and
saint
Bonaventure
.
The
capuchin
dress
,
he
thought
,
was
rather
too
Stephen
's
face
gave
back
the
priest
's
indulgent
smile
and
,
not
being
anxious
to
give
an
opinion
,
he
made
a
slight
dubitative
movement
with
his
lips
.
--
I
believe
,
continued
the
director
,
that
there
is
some
talk
now
among
the
capuchins
themselves
of
doing
away
with
it
and
following
the
example
of
the
other
franciscans
.
--
I
suppose
they
would
retain
it
in
the
cloisters
?
said
Stephen
.
--
O
certainly
,
said
the
director
.
For
the
cloister
it
is
all
right
but
for
the
street
I
really
think
it
would
be
better
to
do
away
with
it
,
do
n't
you
?
