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441
I
am
sure
she
felt
herself
soiled
.
442
But
men
are
of
a
coarser
clay
.
At
least
I
am
,
and
nearly
twenty
years
had
elapsed
,
and
here
was
I
burdened
under
a
load
of
affection
,
like
a
sack
of
returned
love-letters
,
with
no
lap
into
which
to
dump
them
.
443
"
They
were
all
written
to
another
woman
,
ma'am
,
and
yet
I
am
in
hopes
that
you
will
find
something
in
them
about
yourself
.
"
It
would
have
sounded
oddly
to
Mary
,
but
life
is
gray
to
friendless
girls
,
and
something
might
have
come
of
it
.
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444
On
the
other
hand
,
it
would
have
brought
her
for
ever
out
of
the
wood
of
the
little
hut
,
and
I
had
but
to
drop
the
letter
to
send
them
both
back
there
.
The
easiness
of
it
tempted
me
.
445
Besides
,
she
would
tire
of
me
when
I
was
really
known
to
her
.
They
all
do
,
you
see
.
446
And
,
after
all
,
why
should
he
lose
his
laugh
because
I
had
lost
my
smile
?
447
And
then
,
again
,
the
whole
thing
was
merely
a
whimsical
idea
.
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448
I
dropped
the
letter
,
and
shouldered
my
burden
.
449
I
sometimes
met
David
in
public
places
such
as
the
Kensington
Gardens
,
where
he
lorded
it
surrounded
by
his
suite
and
wearing
the
blank
face
and
glass
eyes
of
all
carriage-people
.
On
these
occasions
I
always
stalked
by
,
meditating
on
higher
things
,
though
Mary
seemed
to
think
me
very
hardhearted
,
and
Irene
,
who
had
become
his
nurse
(
I
forget
how
,
but
fear
I
had
something
to
do
with
it
)
,
ran
after
me
with
messages
,
as
,
would
I
not
call
and
see
him
in
his
home
at
twelve
o'clock
,
at
which
moment
,
it
seemed
,
he
was
at
his
best
.
450
No
,
I
would
not
.