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- Джеймс Барри
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Her
cleverness
raised
such
a
demon
in
me
that
I
locked
away
her
letter
at
once
and
have
seldom
read
it
since
.
No
married
lady
should
have
indited
such
an
epistle
to
a
single
man
.
It
said
,
with
other
things
which
I
decline
to
repeat
,
that
I
was
her
good
fairy
.
As
a
sample
of
the
deliberate
falsehoods
in
it
,
I
may
mention
that
she
said
David
loved
me
already
.
She
hoped
that
I
would
come
in
often
to
see
her
husband
,
who
was
very
proud
of
my
friendship
,
and
suggested
that
I
should
pay
him
my
first
visit
to-day
at
three
o'clock
,
an
hour
at
which
,
as
I
happened
to
know
,
he
is
always
away
giving
a
painting-lesson
In
short
,
she
wanted
first
to
meet
me
alone
,
so
that
she
might
draw
the
delicious
,
respectful
romance
out
of
me
,
and
afterward
repeat
it
to
him
,
with
sighs
and
little
peeps
at
him
over
her
pocket-handkerchief
.
She
had
dropped
what
were
meant
to
look
like
two
tears
for
me
upon
the
paper
,
but
I
should
not
wonder
though
they
were
only
artful
drops
of
water
.
I
sent
her
a
stiff
and
tart
reply
,
declining
to
hold
any
communication
with
her
.
I
am
in
danger
,
I
see
,
of
being
included
among
the
whimsical
fellows
,
which
I
so
little
desire
that
I
have
got
me
into
my
writing-chair
to
combat
the
charge
,
but
,
having
sat
for
an
unconscionable
time
with
pen
poised
,
I
am
come
agitatedly
to
the
fear
that
there
may
be
something
in
it
.
So
long
a
time
has
elapsed
,
you
must
know
,
since
I
abated
of
the
ardours
of
self-inquiry
that
I
revert
in
vain
(
through
many
rusty
doors
)
for
the
beginning
of
this
change
in
me
,
if
changed
I
am
;
I
seem
ever
to
see
this
same
man
until
I
am
back
in
those
wonderful
months
which
were
half
of
my
life
,
when
,
indeed
,
I
know
that
I
was
otherwise
than
I
am
now
;
no
whimsical
fellow
then
,
for
that
was
one
of
the
possibilities
I
put
to
myself
while
seeking
for
the
explanation
of
things
,
and
found
to
be
inadmissible
.
Having
failed
in
those
days
to
discover
why
I
was
driven
from
the
garden
,
I
suppose
I
ceased
to
be
enamoured
of
myself
,
as
of
some
dull
puzzle
,
and
then
perhaps
the
whimsicalities
began
to
collect
unnoticed
.
It
is
a
painful
thought
to
me
to-night
,
that
he
could
wake
up
glorious
once
,
this
man
in
the
elbow-chair
by
the
fire
,
who
is
humorously
known
at
the
club
as
a
"
confirmed
spinster
.
"
I
remember
him
well
when
his
years
told
four
and
twenty
;
on
my
soul
the
proudest
subaltern
of
my
acquaintance
,
and
with
the
most
reason
to
be
proud
.
There
was
nothing
he
might
not
do
in
the
future
,
having
already
done
the
biggest
thing
,
this
toddler
up
club-steps
to-day
.
Not
,
indeed
,
that
I
am
a
knave
;
I
am
tolerably
kind
,
I
believe
,
and
most
inoffensive
,
a
gentleman
,
I
trust
,
even
in
the
eyes
of
the
ladies
who
smile
at
me
as
we
converse
;
they
are
an
ever-increasing
number
,
or
so
it
seems
to
me
to-night
.
Ah
,
ladies
,
I
forget
when
I
first
began
to
notice
that
smile
and
to
be
made
uneasy
by
it
.
I
think
I
understand
it
now
,
and
in
some
vague
way
it
hurts
me
.
I
find
that
I
watch
for
it
nowadays
,
but
I
hope
I
am
still
your
loyal
,
obedient
servant
.
You
will
scarcely
credit
it
,
but
I
have
just
remembered
that
I
once
had
a
fascinating
smile
of
my
own
.
What
has
become
of
my
smile
?
I
swear
I
have
not
noticed
that
it
was
gone
till
now
;
I
am
like
one
who
revisiting
his
school
feels
suddenly
for
his
old
knife
.
I
first
heard
of
my
smile
from
another
boy
,
whose
sisters
had
considered
all
the
smiles
they
knew
and
placed
mine
on
top
.
My
friend
was
scornful
,
and
I
bribed
him
to
mention
the
plebiscite
to
no
one
,
but
secretly
I
was
elated
and
amazed
.
I
feel
lost
to-night
without
my
smiles
.
I
rose
a
moment
ago
to
look
for
it
in
my
mirror
.
I
like
to
believe
that
she
has
it
now
.
I
think
she
may
have
some
other
forgotten
trifles
of
mine
with
it
that
make
the
difference
between
that
man
and
this
.
