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- Джером Дэвид Сэлинджер
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Lovely
my
ass
.
The
show
was
n't
as
bad
as
some
I
've
seen
.
It
was
on
the
crappy
side
,
though
.
It
was
about
five
hundred
thousand
years
in
the
life
of
this
one
old
couple
.
It
starts
out
when
they
're
young
and
all
,
and
the
girl
's
parents
do
n't
want
her
to
marry
the
boy
,
but
she
marries
him
anyway
.
Then
they
keep
getting
older
and
older
.
The
husband
goes
to
war
,
and
the
wife
has
this
brother
that
's
a
drunkard
.
I
could
n't
get
very
interested
.
I
mean
I
did
n't
care
too
much
when
anybody
in
the
family
died
or
anything
.
They
were
all
just
a
bunch
of
actors
.
The
husband
and
wife
were
a
pretty
nice
old
couple
--
very
witty
and
all
--
but
I
could
n't
get
too
interested
in
them
.
For
one
thing
,
they
kept
drinking
tea
or
some
goddam
thing
all
through
the
play
.
Every
time
you
saw
them
,
some
butler
was
shoving
some
tea
in
front
of
them
,
or
the
wife
was
pouring
it
for
somebody
.
And
everybody
kept
coming
in
and
going
out
all
the
time
--
you
got
dizzy
watching
people
sit
down
and
stand
up
.
Alfred
Lunt
and
Lynn
Fontanne
were
the
old
couple
,
and
they
were
very
good
,
but
I
did
n't
like
them
much
.
They
were
different
,
though
,
I
'll
say
that
.
They
did
n't
act
like
people
and
they
did
n't
act
like
actors
.
It
's
hard
to
explain
.
They
acted
more
like
they
knew
they
were
celebrities
and
all
.
I
mean
they
were
good
,
but
they
were
too
good
.
When
one
of
them
got
finished
making
a
speech
,
the
other
one
said
something
very
fast
right
after
it
.
It
was
supposed
to
be
like
people
really
talking
and
interrupting
each
other
and
all
.
The
trouble
was
,
it
was
too
much
like
people
talking
and
interrupting
each
other
.
They
acted
a
little
bit
the
way
old
Ernie
,
down
in
the
Village
,
plays
the
piano
.
If
you
do
something
too
good
,
then
,
after
a
while
,
if
you
do
n't
watch
it
,
you
start
showing
off
.
And
then
you
're
not
as
good
any
more
.
But
anyway
,
they
were
the
only
ones
in
the
show
--
the
Lunts
,
I
mean
--
that
looked
like
they
had
any
real
brains
.
I
have
to
admit
it
.
At
the
end
of
the
first
act
we
went
out
with
all
the
other
jerks
for
a
cigarette
.
What
a
deal
that
was
.
You
never
saw
so
many
phonies
in
all
your
life
,
everybody
smoking
their
ears
off
and
talking
about
the
play
so
that
everybody
could
hear
and
know
how
sharp
they
were
.
Some
dopey
movie
actor
was
standing
near
us
,
having
a
cigarette
.
I
do
n't
know
his
name
,
but
he
always
plays
the
part
of
a
guy
in
a
war
movie
that
gets
yellow
before
it
's
time
to
go
over
the
top
.
He
was
with
some
gorgeous
blonde
,
and
the
two
of
them
were
trying
to
be
very
blasé
and
all
,
like
as
if
he
did
n't
even
know
people
were
looking
at
him
.
Modest
as
hell
.
I
got
a
big
bang
out
of
it
.
Old
Sally
did
n't
talk
much
,
except
to
rave
about
the
Lunts
,
because
she
was
busy
rubbering
and
being
charming
.
Then
all
of
a
sudden
,
she
saw
some
jerk
she
knew
on
the
other
side
of
the
lobby
.
Some
guy
in
one
of
those
very
dark
gray
flannel
suits
and
one
of
those
checkered
vests
.
Strictly
Ivy
League
.
Big
deal
.
He
was
standing
next
to
the
wall
,
smoking
himself
to
death
and
looking
bored
as
hell
.
Old
Sally
kept
saying
,
"
I
know
that
boy
from
somewhere
.
"
She
always
knew
somebody
,
any
place
you
took
her
,
or
thought
she
did
.
She
kept
saying
that
till
I
got
bored
as
hell
,
and
I
said
to
her
,
"
Why
do
n't
you
go
on
over
and
give
him
a
big
soul
kiss
,
if
you
know
him
?
He
'll
enjoy
it
.
"
She
got
sore
when
I
said
that
.
Finally
,
though
,
the
jerk
noticed
her
and
came
over
and
said
hello
.
You
should
've
seen
the
way
they
said
hello
.
You
'd
have
thought
they
had
n't
seen
each
other
in
twenty
years
.
You
'd
have
thought
they
'd
taken
baths
in
the
same
bathtub
or
something
when
they
were
little
kids
.
Old
buddyroos
.
It
was
nauseating
.
The
funny
part
was
,
they
probably
met
each
other
just
once
,
at
some
phony
party
.
Finally
,
when
they
were
all
done
slobbering
around
,
old
Sally
introduced
us
.
His
name
was
George
something
--
I
do
n't
even
remember
--
and
he
went
to
Andover
.
Big
,
big
deal
.
You
should
've
seen
him
when
old
Sally
asked
him
how
he
liked
the
play
.
He
was
the
kind
of
a
phony
that
have
to
give
themselves
room
when
they
answer
somebody
's
question
.
He
stepped
back
,
and
stepped
right
on
the
lady
's
foot
behind
him
.
He
probably
broke
every
toe
in
her
body
.
He
said
the
play
itself
was
no
masterpiece
,
but
that
the
Lunts
,
of
course
,
were
absolute
angels
.
Angels
.
For
Chrissake
.
Angels
.
That
killed
me
.
Then
he
and
old
Sally
started
talking
about
a
lot
of
people
they
both
knew
.
It
was
the
phoniest
conversation
you
ever
heard
in
your
life
.
They
both
kept
thinking
of
places
as
fast
as
they
could
,
then
they
'd
think
of
somebody
that
lived
there
and
mention
their
name
.
I
was
all
set
to
puke
when
it
was
time
to
go
sit
down
again
.
I
really
was
.
And
then
,
when
the
next
act
was
over
,
they
continued
their
goddam
boring
conversation
.
They
kept
thinking
of
more
places
and
more
names
of
people
that
lived
there
.
The
worst
part
was
,
the
jerk
had
one
of
those
very
phony
,
Ivy
League
voices
,
one
of
those
very
tired
,
snobby
voices
.
He
sounded
just
like
a
girl
.
He
did
n't
hesitate
to
horn
in
on
my
date
,
the
bastard
.
I
even
thought
for
a
minute
that
he
was
going
to
get
in
the
goddam
cab
with
us
when
the
show
was
over
,
because
he
walked
about
two
blocks
with
us
,
but
he
had
to
meet
a
bunch
of
phonies
for
cocktails
,
he
said
.
I
could
see
them
all
sitting
around
in
some
bar
,
with
their
goddam
checkered
vests
,
criticizing
shows
and
books
and
women
in
those
tired
,
snobby
voices
.
They
kill
me
,
those
guys
.
I
sort
of
hated
old
Sally
by
the
time
we
got
in
the
cab
,
after
listening
to
that
phony
Andover
bastard
for
about
ten
hours
.
I
was
all
set
to
take
her
home
and
all
--
I
really
was
--
but
she
said
,
"
I
have
a
marvelous
idea
!
"
She
was
always
having
a
marvelous
idea
.
"
Listen
,
"
she
said
.
"
What
time
do
you
have
to
be
home
for
dinner
?
I
mean
are
you
in
a
terrible
hurry
or
anything
?
Do
you
have
to
be
home
any
special
time
?
"
"
Me
?
No
.
No
special
time
,
"
I
said
.
Truer
word
was
never
spoken
,
boy
.
"
Why
?
"
"
Let
's
go
ice-skating
at
Radio
City
!
"
That
's
the
kind
of
ideas
she
always
had
.
