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- Джером Дэвид Сэлинджер
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All
those
scraggy-looking
Santa
Clauses
were
standing
on
corners
ringing
those
bells
,
and
the
Salvation
Army
girls
,
the
ones
that
do
n't
wear
any
lipstick
or
anything
,
were
tinging
bells
too
.
I
sort
of
kept
looking
around
for
those
two
nuns
I
'd
met
at
breakfast
the
day
before
,
but
I
did
n't
see
them
.
I
knew
I
would
n't
,
because
they
'd
told
me
they
'd
come
to
New
York
to
be
schoolteachers
,
but
I
kept
looking
for
them
anyway
.
Anyway
,
it
was
pretty
Christmasy
all
of
a
sudden
.
A
million
little
kids
were
downtown
with
their
mothers
,
getting
on
and
off
buses
and
coming
in
and
out
of
stores
.
I
wished
old
Phoebe
was
around
.
She
's
not
little
enough
any
more
to
go
stark
staring
mad
in
the
toy
department
,
but
she
enjoys
horsing
around
and
looking
at
the
people
.
The
Christmas
before
last
I
took
her
downtown
shopping
with
me
.
We
had
a
helluva
time
.
I
think
it
was
in
Bloomingdale
's
.
We
went
in
the
shoe
department
and
we
pretended
she
--
old
Phoebe
--
wanted
to
get
a
pair
of
those
very
high
storm
shoes
,
the
kind
that
have
about
a
million
holes
to
lace
up
.
We
had
the
poor
salesman
guy
going
crazy
.
Old
Phoebe
tried
on
about
twenty
pairs
,
and
each
time
the
poor
guy
had
to
lace
one
shoe
all
the
way
up
.
It
was
a
dirty
trick
,
but
it
killed
old
Phoebe
.
We
finally
bought
a
pair
of
moccasins
and
charged
them
.
The
salesman
was
very
nice
about
it
.
I
think
he
knew
we
were
horsing
around
,
because
old
Phoebe
always
starts
giggling
.
Anyway
,
I
kept
walking
and
walking
up
Fifth
Avenue
,
without
any
tie
on
or
anything
.
Then
all
of
a
sudden
,
something
very
spooky
started
happening
.
Every
time
I
came
to
the
end
of
a
block
and
stepped
off
the
goddam
curb
,
I
had
this
feeling
that
I
'd
never
get
to
the
other
side
of
the
street
.
I
thought
I
'd
just
go
down
,
down
,
down
,
and
nobody
'd
ever
see
me
again
.
Boy
,
did
it
scare
me
.
You
ca
n't
imagine
.
I
started
sweating
like
a
bastard
--
my
whole
shirt
and
underwear
and
everything
.
Then
I
started
doing
something
else
.
Every
time
I
'd
get
to
the
end
of
a
block
I
'd
make
believe
I
was
talking
to
my
brother
Allie
.
I
'd
say
to
him
,
"
Allie
,
do
n't
let
me
disappear
.
Allie
,
do
n't
let
me
disappear
.
Allie
,
do
n't
let
me
disappear
.
Please
,
Allie
.
"
And
then
when
I
'd
reach
the
other
side
of
the
street
without
disappearing
,
I
'd
thank
him
.
Then
it
would
start
all
over
again
as
soon
as
I
got
to
the
next
corner
.
But
I
kept
going
and
all
.
I
was
sort
of
afraid
to
stop
,
I
think
--
I
do
n't
remember
,
to
tell
you
the
truth
.
I
know
I
did
n't
stop
till
I
was
way
up
in
the
Sixties
,
past
the
zoo
and
all
.
Then
I
sat
down
on
this
bench
.
I
could
hardly
get
my
breath
,
and
I
was
still
sweating
like
a
bastard
.
I
sat
there
,
I
guess
,
for
about
an
hour
.
Finally
,
what
I
decided
I
'd
do
,
I
decided
I
'd
go
away
.
I
decided
I
'd
never
go
home
again
and
I
'd
never
go
away
to
another
school
again
.
I
decided
I
'd
just
see
old
Phoebe
and
sort
of
say
good-by
to
her
and
all
,
and
give
her
back
her
Christmas
dough
,
and
then
I
'd
start
hitchhiking
my
way
out
West
.
What
I
'd
do
,
I
figured
,
I
'd
go
down
to
the
Holland
Tunnel
and
bum
a
ride
,
and
then
I
'd
bum
another
one
,
and
another
one
,
and
another
one
,
and
in
a
few
days
I
'd
be
somewhere
out
West
where
it
was
very
pretty
and
sunny
and
where
nobody
'd
know
me
and
I
'd
get
a
job
.
I
figured
I
could
get
a
job
at
a
filling
station
somewhere
,
putting
gas
and
oil
in
people
's
cars
.
I
did
n't
care
what
kind
of
job
it
was
,
though
.
Just
so
people
did
n't
know
me
and
I
did
n't
know
anybody
.
I
thought
what
I
'd
do
was
,
I
'd
pretend
I
was
one
of
those
deaf-mutes
.
That
way
I
would
n't
have
to
have
any
goddam
stupid
useless
conversations
with
anybody
.
If
anybody
wanted
to
tell
me
something
,
they
'd
have
to
write
it
on
a
piece
of
paper
and
shove
it
over
to
me
.
They
'd
get
bored
as
hell
doing
that
after
a
while
,
and
then
I
'd
be
through
with
having
conversations
for
the
rest
of
my
life
.
Everybody
'd
think
I
was
just
a
poor
deaf-mute
bastard
and
they
'd
leave
me
alone
.
They
'd
let
me
put
gas
and
oil
in
their
stupid
cars
,
and
they
'd
pay
me
a
salary
and
all
for
it
,
and
I
'd
build
me
a
little
cabin
somewhere
with
the
dough
I
made
and
live
there
for
the
rest
of
my
life
.
I
'd
build
it
right
near
the
woods
,
but
not
right
in
them
,
because
I
'd
want
it
to
be
sunny
as
hell
all
the
time
.
I
'd
cook
all
my
own
food
,
and
later
on
,
if
I
wanted
to
get
married
or
something
,
I
'd
meet
this
beautiful
girl
that
was
also
a
deaf-mute
and
we
'd
get
married
.
She
'd
come
and
live
in
my
cabin
with
me
,
and
if
she
wanted
to
say
anything
to
me
,
she
'd
have
to
write
it
on
a
goddam
piece
of
paper
,
like
everybody
else
.
If
we
had
any
children
,
we
'd
hide
them
somewhere
.
We
could
buy
them
a
lot
of
books
and
teach
them
how
to
read
and
write
by
ourselves
.
I
got
excited
as
hell
thinking
about
it
.
I
really
did
.
I
knew
the
part
about
pretending
I
was
a
deaf-mute
was
crazy
,
but
I
liked
thinking
about
it
anyway
.
But
I
really
decided
to
go
out
West
and
all
.
All
I
wanted
to
do
first
was
say
good-by
to
old
Phoebe
.
So
all
of
a
sudden
,
I
ran
like
a
madman
across
the
street
--
I
damn
near
got
killed
doing
it
,
if
you
want
to
know
the
truth
--
and
went
in
this
stationery
store
and
bought
a
pad
and
pencil
.
I
figured
I
'd
write
her
a
note
telling
her
where
to
meet
me
so
I
could
say
good-by
to
her
and
give
her
back
her
Christmas
dough
,
and
then
I
'd
take
the
note
up
to
her
school
and
get
somebody
in
the
principal
's
office
to
give
it
to
her
.
But
I
just
put
the
pad
and
pencil
in
my
pocket
and
started
walking
fast
as
hell
up
to
her
school
--
I
was
too
excited
to
write
the
note
right
in
the
stationery
store
.
I
walked
fast
because
I
wanted
her
to
get
the
note
before
she
went
home
for
lunch
,
and
I
did
n't
have
any
too
much
time
.
I
knew
where
her
school
was
,
naturally
,
because
I
went
there
myself
when
I
was
a
kid
.
When
I
got
there
,
it
felt
funny
.
I
was
n't
sure
I
'd
remember
what
it
was
like
inside
,
but
I
did
.
It
was
exactly
the
same
as
it
was
when
I
went
there
.
They
had
that
same
big
yard
inside
,
that
was
always
sort
of
dark
,
with
those
cages
around
the
light
bulbs
so
they
would
n't
break
if
they
got
hit
with
a
ball
.
They
had
those
same
white
circles
painted
all
over
the
floor
,
for
games
and
stuff
.
And
those
same
old
basketball
rings
without
any
nets
--
just
the
backboards
and
the
rings
.
Nobody
was
around
at
all
,
probably
because
it
was
n't
recess
period
,
and
it
was
n't
lunchtime
yet
.
All
I
saw
was
one
little
kid
,
a
colored
kid
,
on
his
way
to
the
bathroom
.
He
had
one
of
those
wooden
passes
sticking
out
of
his
hip
pocket
,
the
same
way
we
used
to
have
,
to
show
he
had
permission
and
all
to
go
to
the
bathroom
.
I
was
still
sweating
,
but
not
so
bad
any
more
.
I
went
over
to
the
stairs
and
sat
down
on
the
first
step
and
took
out
the
pad
and
pencil
I
'd
bought
.
The
stairs
had
the
same
smell
they
used
to
have
when
I
went
there
.
Like
somebody
'd
just
taken
a
leak
on
them
.
School
stairs
always
smell
like
that
.
Anyway
,
I
sat
there
and
wrote
this
note
:
DEAR
PHOEBE
,
